What do you do when you can't agree on names?

[Elisheva009]

As you might have seen from my previous thread, DH and I can't agree on names.

Basically, he likes very popular names while I prefer unusual ones.

We are also from different countries and cultures originally so some names don't work well in each other's country while others might be popular in one country but not in the other.

I feel as if there is no way to compromise unless we pick a name which neither of us loves but neither of us hates either, but that doesn't seem like a good solution because that way, neither of us will be really happy with the choice.

Names have always been an interesting topic for me. I want to be proud of my children's names but now I feel as if I won't be.

 

[purplecupcake]

We disagreed on every single name. I finally got to a point where just having a name selected, regardless of if I loved it, was comforting. So, he made a suggestion and I didn't hate it so I said ok. I learned to love it over the next few months!

 

[chelsealynnb]

Same here! DH wants this baby to be name Danny if it's a boy after his uncle Danny (who died drunk driving when DH was like 12 months old) I said well what if we just have the baby's middle name Daniel? (Trying to compromise with him here) well his legal name is Danny, not Daniel! I hate the name and this may sound harsh but I don't want my kid to be named after a drunk/druggie that I've never met who died before I was born and before DH was old enough to even remember him! I want the baby to be named Kyler if it's a boy and DH says absolutely not! GRRR This is going to be a fight, I know it.

 

[Buffyx]

@elisheva009: that totally sucks but I'm in the same situation. Although we are not yet expecting, names are always a topic of discussion for us and I think I've finally accepted that we are more than likely going to end up with a name I don't hate. I posted a similar thread on here once and a few people said the same as one of the PP in that you end up loving it after it belongs to your child

@chelsealynnb: I would also not want to name my child after someone who id never met, nor that my DH does not even remember. I think middle names are for honouring people. I think your DH should be grateful you are even willing to do that to be honest.

 

[bumblebeexo]

We (well, I) wrote a long list of names and DH crossed out the ones he didn't like. Most of them were crossed out but we were left with a couple!

 

[vickyandchick]

Oh my god it took us forever to come up with a shortlist, every name one of us suggested the other hated

We have a few that we like and will decide when he arrives. However he did turn round to me the other day and said I can call him what I want as he'll just refer to him as 'son'

 

[Button#]

Maybe grab a baby name book and each go through it writing a list of names you like and then hope there's some cross over.

 

[irinac]

make a list..and find common names...try it until you find a name you both agree on

 

[Jungleland]

Hi! I make lists and my OH scores them from 1-10 (1 being 'hate it' and 10 being 'the one') Most of my names end up as 4/5s when scored by my OH but the odd few get an 8 rating but it still irks me that none of our boys names are a 9 or 10 (yet....) but it worked for deciding our girl name. Keep looking, the perfect name might still be out there xxxx

 

[MrsKChicago]

DH wanted to name the baby Vincent after his grandfather. I didn't love it, and he didn't really know his grandfather, so I had some issues with the sentimental excuse. I think if we're going to name the baby after a family member, it should be someone who we knew and had some influence in our lives. He liked my suggestion, Theodore, but felt really strongly about Vincent. I just kept throwing other names out at him, and first/middle combinations, and then one day by some miracle, I hit on a middle name for Theodore that stuck in his brain, and he came home from work a couple days later and said that was the name. Doesn't even want Vincent as a middle name now.

I don't know exactly what shifted to make me so lucky, but I'd just keep throwing names you like at him in hopes of something sticking. Suggest combinations, too - I never would have won the name war if it wasn't for the combination of first and middle names. Go through baby books and make long lists of names you like for him. See if he'll do the same. Maybe you can find something unique and interesting, but with a more normal nickname (our girl name was Valentine, which was a little out there, but shortens to Val which is familiar and normal).

And be prepared to compromise a little. I don't know if Theodore would have been my absolute #1 best ever top choice if naming was completely up to me, but it's a name I like a lot, it fits my "rules," and we actually agreed on it, which was good enough for me.

 

[lj2245]

We can't agree either. Boy names were no problem but we are having a girl this time and can't even come close to agreeing on anything.

 

[Shakeitout]

Oh my gosh I'm in this situation with my OH. I am suggesting lots of names and every single name he googles and if it has the slightest link to any religion he says no way. It's so blooming annoying. All names have a meaning / history bit surely you should just choose on weather or not you like the actual name. The only names he likes for a boy are Maurice after a trumpet play and Stirling after some race car driving legend. There's no room for compromise with him and it's driving me mad. That plus hormones making me angry easy are jot making my life fun right now.

I now plan on a making s list with s name from every letter from the alphabet and letting him cross stuff out. :/

 

[Kirsty3051]

If you find a solution, please let me know. We've had a handful of heated discussions over baby names this week. Just when I think we're set on one, he changes his mind. How soon after getting married can you file for divorce? (I'm kidding).