What to do, what to do?? Any suggestions??

[lou_w34]

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[expecting09]

Ofcourse it's ok not to answer his calls! If all that happens when you do answer is name calling then can anyone blame you for ignoring them?

Your not pushing him out, if he really wanted to be part of babys life he would try his hardest to show you its what he really wants. It's not as if you havent given him a chance, you've asked him why he's not bothering and just called you a c*nt! I'd just ignore all calls and texts

Hang in there hun

 

[DizzyMoo]

Yep ignore him hun, If he really wants to see baby genuinely then let him go to court hunny. If he is abusing you when he calls then you have every right to ignore them, Tell him to speak to you via a solicitor in future. If he is bothered he will, If he isn't then he wont.

 

[lou_w34]

Thanks

I know your all right, and if it was someone else writing this, id be telling them to ignore him too! But it always seems harder when its you making the decisions!

xx

 

[DizzyMoo]

Oh lou course its different when it is you in those shoes, i've been there hun, I was stressing all the time, upset at the abuse, i was watching our son become angry & slow at learning where he'd always been quick, upset at just the whole situation & how he was happy to give me hell but completely ignore our child it took a LONG LONG 3 yrs & i eventually told him to fuck off with a capital F. It was the best decision i have ever made with regards to my son & myself, Within a week i felt better, was happier, felt stronger, & then i noticed the difference in josh too. We were both shining & he started to do fab at nursery, speaking & just in general he came on much better.
I've already made the decision i wont go through all that again with bump, I wont be putting him through heartache, So dont worry hun we do understand & know its a difficult thing for you xx

 

[lou_w34]

Its always so much better to hear people have been there, done that, and come out so much stronger for it. I always feel loads better, but then if i get a text or missed call ill ponder over it for hours. Im thinking im going to take your advice and just tell him to contact me through a solicitor, i know he wont though, he cant even be bothered (or doesnt have the balls) to tell his parents that they are going to be grandparents, so i dont see how he will get off his arse to go to a solicitors. But your right, theres no way im putting my daughter through any heartache he is going to bring! Grrrrrrrrrrr men! lol

 

[KaeRit21]

hun, from someone whos just told an uninterested FOB to F**k off, ignore him...his abuse and childish name calling is totally unacceptable and id be ignoring it to. if hes gueninely interested in being involved in his childs life then one, he wouldnt act the way he is and two, he be proving it.

i can honestly say, after days of bing angry, hurt, pissed off, and just generally in a down and foul mood, im happier now i no that he has no way of interfering, hes not bothered to so much as text to find out how baby is or me and its only proved to me what everyone has been trying to tell me...but i guess its something you need to realise for yourself

you ARE strong enough to ignore him darling, and everyone here is behind you.
you dont need him and neither does your baby..u deserve better, and u have to believe in yourself.

believe me hun, if your choice is to just get rid of him altogether, u will not regret it, because you wont be constantl on edge wondering when his next text or phone call or abusive outburst is going to be.

your daughter has everything she needs. YOU.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[lou_w34]

Oh my gosh! You just made me cry... not in a bad way though

Ahhhh everyones so nice and supportive

Ive blocked him and his friends on facebook, so they cant even see my profile, and on msn, the last thing i need to do is change my number... im just too scared to do it, incase i get accused of pushing him out! So for now, i just need to deleat the texts straight away instead of reading them.

The confusing thing is, he keeps saying how much he loves me, and wants me back... yet at this very moment he has a new girlfriend who has a baby of her own. So he's not doing very much to show me that. He only ever sends those messages when he's been drinking anyways, and he's only ever nice to get his own way, I just need to remember that, not that id ever take him back! He's the sort of person who uses people to get his own way.

He'll soon give up when he realises im not going to play into his hands anymore... i hope lol

 

[KaeRit21]

he sounds a lot like my fob. G was rather good at twisting and using to get his own way. his way or no way.
well now its no way coz ive woken up to what an ass he really is.
just delete the texts, and dont fall for his silly mind games. your stronger than he is hunny. remember that.

xxxx

 

[Perdita]

Get yourself a free e-mail address and give him that and nothing else - then if he's abusive or dismissive it's there and you can use it as proof of his behaviour if necessary. Keep it as the only line of communication so at least it's there as an option. You can always ask someone ele to read them for you if you don't want to face it and they can tell you if there's anything you need to know. I've got the oppostite problem of him having all my contact details and he knows I haven't moved house but he won't communicate at all!!!
Be strong sweetie - he's being a prick because he can be, ignore him, you're more important than he is!

 

[lou_w34]

Thanks everyone! Your all right i know you are!

He text me again, saying that he really needed to see me, and for me to come up and see him

Ummmmm how about NO! Because thanks to him i cant afford train fares as im busy saving up for my pram. Why doesnt he make the effort to see me? But then again he has said he was going to come in the past for my midwife appointment... and did he show up? Nope he didnt, and its not the first time he's said he will be somewhere/ do something and done nothing, so i dont see the point in even suggesting it to him