What would you do?? Anxiety over movements

[charmy28]

I suffer really bad from anxiety and OCD and have been off my medication since finding out I was pregnant. Mainly due to pressure from my husband as he doesnt believe in taking anything that can harm baby. However am now seeing a psychologist.
Im now 33 weeks pregnant and In the past 3-4 weeks my anxiety has skyrocketed and I panic a lot when cant feel baby for a while or if her movements change. I cant sleep at night sometimes because of this and worry a lot about stillbirth etc.
It really doesnt help that my LO has no set pattern with her movements and some days is really really active and other days quiet as anything!!!!! She also has no time of the day when she is most active but just moves when she feels like it.
I have been to triage quite a few times for reduced movements and they have done a trace and everything has been fine. However ......
When asking the midwives to clarify how often I should be feeling her and when to worry I always get conflicting info. Some say 10 movements a day , 10 movements an hour and doctor said if her pattern changes!!!!
The doctor at triage knows about my anxiety problems and that I see a psycologist for this and is always understanding and tells me to go in for monitoring if im worried as that is what they are there for.

Anyway the last few days she has been quite quiet (not sure if just cause she is getting bigger now) and think i may be losing alittle bit of fluid.
Just rang triage and the midwife was so awful to me on the phone and i got a bit upset.
She asked my name and when I told her she said " oh yeah I know you" really nastily. She told me to wear a pad for fluid and if worse go back in the morning. When also asking about reduced movements she snapped at me " well your always worried though arent you" and tried to get me off the phone.

Do you think this is acceptable???What would you do if you were in my position????

 

[TrixieLox]

I really feel for you! I worry too but I don't have your anxiety issues so must be 10 times worse for you. Are you working with your psychologist to overcome these specific anxieties?

Anyway, on this specific case, have you done the usual tricks: ice water, or OJ or a sugary snack then lie down to check you get 10 movements in 2 hours? I do this once in the morning now and once at night and honestly, it makes me feel SO much better, like i have something to test against, you know? i have an iphone app for it. And that's not just kicks but any kind of movement? if you find this doesnt happen, then yes, the advice is to get it checked out. On fluid, what is it like? Is there a lot of it? Again, if so and it seems to match what animotic fluid is like, get it checked out. Ignore the silly midwife, just go on. But if actually, there's not much of it and baby has moved 10 times in 2 hours, then it's just your mind playing tricks.

I don't think it's fair that the MW was funny with you. But at the same time, it's a bit like when Peter cried wolf. Sadly, each time you call now, they probably don't take you seriously, which is totally unfair. But that's just the way it'll be seeing as you're in so much. If your baby is unpredictable and doesn't follow the 10 movements in 2 hours test, then maybe your placenta placement or something is making it hard to notice movement? Maybe you need to chat to your dr about that specifically?

I really think you should try to find a way to deal with this anxiety as it sounds like it's making your life hell plus hospital staff are starting not to take you seriously.

Good luck hon. X

 

[SpotlessMind]

I don't think that's acceptable at all; it sounds like she was having a bad day. Worry is no good for baby, and you have the right to go in if you feel you need to. Just ignore the bad attitude and do what you think is right

 

[MissPolley]

all people have days of high energy and days of low, your baby is no different, as long as you have 10 kicks or punches or any movement in a day he/she is fine. book yourself a pregnancy massage and try to relax.

there willl always b horror stories bout stilllbirth and miscarrage but there are so many more happy stories, focus on the good ones x

btw her reaction isnt acceptable, doesnt matter how many times u get checked it just shows u care plus ur the only one that knows ur baby's moveent so if u feel worried you are well within ur right to ring

 

[amjon]

I wouldn't even call. I would just go straight in if I were worried.

 

[amjon]

all people have days of high energy and days of low, your baby is no different, as long as you have 10 kicks or punches or any movement in a day he/she is fine. book yourself a pregnancy massage and try to relax.

there willl always b horror stories bout stilllbirth and miscarrage but there are so many more happy stories, focus on the good ones x

btw her reaction isnt acceptable, doesnt matter how many times u get checked it just shows u care plus ur the only one that knows ur baby's moveent so if u feel worried you are well within ur right to ring

Don't give advice on something you know nothing about. Reduced movement IS always a concern and should be checked out. If you wait until they stop moving it could be too late as far too many of us stillborn moms have found out. If your baby is usually really active (far more than 10 kicks) and suddenly slows down (even if it's still more than 10) GET IT CHECKED OUT! It could save your baby's life. Don't tell people not to worry about it. You could convince someone to delay and cause their baby to be lost.

 

[charmy28]

Trixie lox -Thanks for the advice, I do try the OJ and cold water and sometimes it works but sometimes she just wont budge unless she really wants to.
Like I said no one at the hospital is clear of how many movements , patterns etc so feel a little confused about all of this!!
I know what you mean about crying wolf but i really dont feel like I am. I am not doing this intentionally and only when I am worried about her movements as there is no pattern to them and my anxiety plays on this. I do feel bad when I ring as I have been in a few times but I am a little angry too as I kinda feel that it isnt their job to judge me but to provide a service of care.
I pay my taxes and NI contribution every week and what skin is it off their noses to monitor me for 20 minutes ??

 

[charmy28]

Amjon- Thanks for the advice. I am very sorry you have suffered a loss. This really is my biggest fear and I think that it takes a very strong person to go through something like you have.
I am tempted to call back and ask to speak to the supervisor and just go in. Like i said the reason i have been into triage so much is because she is so unpredictable in her patterns and it scares me so much.
I am not sure why she would be so rude as what trouble is it for them to monitor me for 20 minutes t be safe??

 

[MissPolley]

all people have days of high energy and days of low, your baby is no different, as long as you have 10 kicks or punches or any movement in a day he/she is fine. book yourself a pregnancy massage and try to relax.

there willl always b horror stories bout stilllbirth and miscarrage but there are so many more happy stories, focus on the good ones x

btw her reaction isnt acceptable, doesnt matter how many times u get checked it just shows u care plus ur the only one that knows ur baby's moveent so if u feel worried you are well within ur right to ring

Don't give advice on something you know nothing about. Reduced movement IS always a concern and should be checked out. If you wait until they stop moving it could be too late as far too many of us stillborn moms have found out. If your baby is usually really active (far more than 10 kicks) and suddenly slows down (even if it's still more than 10) GET IT CHECKED OUT! It could save your baby's life. Don't tell people not to worry about it. You could convince someone to delay and cause their baby to be lost.

that is what ive been told, im just relaying it from a midwife who ive asked about this before.

 

[MissPolley]

and anyway i didnt say wait till tey stopped moving for god sake that is totally not my words.

 

[charmy28]

all people have days of high energy and days of low, your baby is no different, as long as you have 10 kicks or punches or any movement in a day he/she is fine. book yourself a pregnancy massage and try to relax.

there willl always b horror stories bout stilllbirth and miscarrage but there are so many more happy stories, focus on the good ones x

btw her reaction isnt acceptable, doesnt matter how many times u get checked it just shows u care plus ur the only one that knows ur baby's moveent so if u feel worried you are well within ur right to ring

Don't give advice on something you know nothing about. Reduced movement IS always a concern and should be checked out. If you wait until they stop moving it could be too late as far too many of us stillborn moms have found out. If your baby is usually really active (far more than 10 kicks) and suddenly slows down (even if it's still more than 10) GET IT CHECKED OUT! It could save your baby's life. Don't tell people not to worry about it. You could convince someone to delay and cause their baby to be lost.

that is what ive been told, im just relaying it from a midwife who ive asked about this before.

I think what Amjon was trying to say was that its whats normal for your babys movements and if you feel like its reduced then get it checked and dont think about kick counts etc
I think the trouble is that we are all given different info from our midwives doctors etc.
My midwife also said 10 movements a day but then my doctor said they dont do kick counts now and if pattern has changed and slowed down then come in.

 

[nevernormal]

My baby doesn't really have a distinguishable pattern either. I don't deal with that kind of anxiety but I know it can be a bit worrying when you realize you haven't felt movements for a while! I haven't gone in for it but I'm just trying to go with my gut feeling about whether or not something is genuinely wrong, since I don't have a pattern to base it on. If you are worried, it's ALWAYS better to go get it checked out. I know personally if I was that worried, but put it off, and something bad happened, I'd feel really bad & guilty about it! Much better to be safe & reassured

 

[charmy28]

Thanks to everyone for their responses and support. Just wanted to write a quick message to say in the end I did go into triage and baby is fine
I called back and asked to speak to the supervisor and she was very nice and understanding and said to come in.
I went in and saw a lovely midwife, was hooked upto monitor, they also dont think i am leaking fluid so thats a relief.
She told me that they would rather me come in and be checked out and everything be fine than not and something to happen so I am a bit perplexed as to why the previous midwife did not tell me to go in.
I may make a proper complaint just because when you call they do a booking form and on this the midwife had stated that when asked i had said fetal movements were normal and i diddnt I told her they were not normal. I think this is really bad practice.
What if she told other people this and they diidnt call back like i did !!! Just imagine what could possibly happen in these circumstances!!!!

 

[amjon]

Thanks to everyone for their responses and support. Just wanted to write a quick message to say in the end I did go into triage and baby is fine
I called back and asked to speak to the supervisor and she was very nice and understanding and said to come in.
I went in and saw a lovely midwife, was hooked upto monitor, they also dont think i am leaking fluid so thats a relief.
She told me that they would rather me come in and be checked out and everything be fine than not and something to happen so I am a bit perplexed as to why the previous midwife did not tell me to go in.
I may make a proper complaint just because when you call they do a booking form and on this the midwife had stated that when asked i had said fetal movements were normal and i diddnt I told her they were not normal. I think this is really bad practice.
What if she told other people this and they diidnt call back like i did !!! Just imagine what could possibly happen in these circumstances!!!!

Glad LO was fine. I agree it's always better to just go in and get checked. If LO is fine that is great, if something is wrong at least they will know to do something. Hopefully your LO will stay nice and active for you.

 

[xxyjadexx]

In my first pregnancy I went into the hospital because I was so worried about lack of movements and baby was just fine. With both pregnancies I don't really have all day movement just feel random movements and sometimes nothing for hours! I don't worry anymore about it!

 

[TwoRdue]

Misspolly - I would like to say that they are not horror storys! The loss of my twins was not a horror but a sad and painful time in mine and my husbands life but far from a horror..

My specalist told me to come in a s much as I like as I also suffer with anxiety more so since my loss and was told to trust how you feel. My husband loaded me up in the car one day to get checked out coz he was worried when I said movement was slow one day.
You should not be made to feel this way by anyone as that is what they are there for.