What would you do differently?

[kizzyt]

As the title states, what would you do differently next time you get your BFP? We found out really early last time (I was only a couple of weeks pregnant) and I went to the docs early, and we told people early etc, so this time I feel like I dont want to know too soon and I dont know if we'd tell as many people. I'd definitely also pay for a ten week scan to make sure all is ok (last time I lost the baby just over 8 weeks so I'd hope to get past that stage this time). I dont know how much exercise etc I'd do either, last time I carried on going to the gym but less often and lower intensity but I feel a little like I am not sure whether I'd do that again.

 

[grandbleu]

What I would do differently:

1. Have an early scan and probably multiple ones in early pregnancy (I would have one between 6-8 weeks to hear a heartbeat and make sure measurements are normal for growth and I would pay for it since it probably wouldn't be covered but I don't care because for my sanity I would need it)
   
2. No sit ups/No jogging (I know it's silly but I did them last time and I just don't want to "jiggle" that area this time around)
   
3. Not tell anyone until 14 weeks except BnB girls of course and my OH (I lost our baby at 12 when I thought I was out of the "scary" period)
   
4. Only gentle sex(maybe TMI but at 7 weeks things got a bit crazy and I had bright red blood spotting after sex...it stopped but I always think back to it and think did we mess it up)

Hmmmm...I think that's it...I hope that helps

 

[kizzyt]

I had four scans in total in 5 weeks, its mad! We got a heartbeat at about 6.5 weeks then lost the baby about a week and a half later, I'd definitely try to get an early scan this time too, like you say one about 6-8 weeks for reassurance.

It's hard to think you'll enjoy it next time because of the worry but I really want to!

 

[grandbleu]

BLEH! I know - my first pregnancy was pure bliss...next one will be filled with fear...I just wish we could all fast forward a year and just look down at our lives and see ourselves with healthy little babies...then I could just let all my worry go but it's the simply not knowing that kills us. At least I have this forum...it's a lifesaver for me (and my OH so I don't constantly barrage him with my TTC crazies!)

 

[SuperKat]

One of the biggest things I am doing differently is taking my prenatals before I evern get pregnant. I am hoping this will make a difference...getting lots and lots of folic acid for the baby.

I am on a roller derby team, and did some hard core training before I found out, and continued with light skating. I don't think I will skate at all...I'll probably switch to walking during the pregnancy.

I will talk to this baby more. I talked to my angel baby, but I wish I would have talked to her more, even if she can't hear me.

I will tell fewer people. I announced it on facebook last time and had tons of congrats and all that....well, because of that, I had to post that I lost the baby and that was followed by lots of sympathy. And now, I still get the occassional person that missed that bad news and asks how the baby is. So, next time, I won't be posting it on there.

I will get a scan sooner. I don't know if it will help, I was almost 12 weeks when I lost this baby...(baby died at about 9w4d). But it would be nice to see the reassurance anyway. I would feel somewhat better I think...

Overall, I think I am going to be neurotic about everything, super super careful. I know that in the end it won't matter, I know that all these things won't save my baby if I am to mc again...but I still can't help it. I hate the what-ifs. If I do everything I can think of then at least I know I tried my very very hardest.

Grandbleu- I'm with you on the sex one...that is one my list too....gentle sex only!!

 

[grandbleu]

Wow Superkat - rollerderby - that's quite intense from the stuff I've seen on TV/Movies...lots of impact...I agree it would scare me to skate that hard (with all those tough girls!) when I was pregnant. You could just skate for exercise and not for the game as long as people aren't knocking you over you should be fine

LOL - glad I'm not the only one that will be having gentle

 

[SuperKat]

Wow Superkat - rollerderby - that's quite intense from the stuff I've seen on TV/Movies...lots of impact...I agree it would scare me to skate that hard (with all those tough girls!) when I was pregnant. You could just skate for exercise and not for the game as long as people aren't knocking you over you should be fine

LOL - glad I'm not the only one that will be having gentle

LOL, yea, luckily I didn't do any bouts, then I would certainly be beating myself up, I found out I was pregnant a week before I was to bout!!! And it was a pretty brutal one I missed! lol. The training practices are more just insane workouts (little impact, we don't try to kill eachother during practice but still not something you want to be doing during pregnant!)

Yea, DH and I had a night like you did, so don't feel bad, you certainly aren't the only one!! lol ...those pregnancy hormone can turn us a bit wild in that sense, restraining ourselves may pose a challenge...

 

[jbolady]

I will not tell DH about it right away, he worries more than me. But he also knows my cycles better than me so he will probably tell me when to test.
I will definitely not tell my family right away either. And I will be faithful with the Prenatal Vitamins and make sure I eat because I have a habit of forgetting to eat throughout the day.

 

[bbhopes]

Next time around I will try to take it easy more, and enjoy as much as I can, I will insist on more scans and will get a thorough one done at 20 weeks (when they can check the heart out) and I will not tell my family until I am well into the pregnancy, perhaps around the 16-18 week mark. OR after the heart scan.
Unfortunetly nothing you can do can prevent something from happening. Some people can do everything wrong and end up with a perfectly healthy baby.
I did everything right with my second pregnancy, (I had lost my first at 11 weeks) so I insisted on enjoying the second one, even though I was nervous. We passed the 12 week mark and assumed as long as baby was born all would be fine. Unfortunetly my son was born and died four days later no warning... they had missed on the scans that he had several heart defects. I have since bought for the next ones a doppler, pulse oximeter, and would like to get one of those pads you put under the mattress to detect breathing etc. I tell everyone I know that is pregnant to get the extra 20 week scan to check the heart, as when I was expecting they said they would not do it unless there was a problem... well there was and we didn't get to find out until after the autopsy... keep positive and try to enjoy your next one, no matter what.

 

[shelleney]

Hi everyone!
There are a few things I will be doing differently next time.

I will insist on a 6 week scan (my baby was ectopic, so i will probably get it for free) i just need to know that my baby is in the womb next time
I will not tell my colleagues or announce it on facebook until im at least 12 weeks (should have known better really, but was sooo excited last time)
I will enjoy every second of being pregnant, however many weeks I am blessed with, and not complain about morning sickness and exhaustion
I will hopefully get to hold my baby in my arms next time...fingers crossed

to you all
xx

 

[1stBaby2011]

The things I would do differently next time:
1. Rest more
2. take prenatals long before
3. not tell anyone so soon

 

[Amberyll23]

1. I will not announce it right away (except here to you ladies of course and my DH)--I also had the facebook experience as Superkat, and while I didnt mind having to share, I was still getting Congratulations from people who heard secondhand about the pregnancy, but not the m/c, 2 months after my m/c!
2. I will rest more and try not to stress out so much. Hard to do in my line of work, but I intend to try!


Fortunately I was already on prenatals, an adjusted diet, and trying to do all the right things as far as my body is concerned before my last pregnancy, and none of that has changed, it's just a matter of sticking to the program!

 

[cloud9]

I did everything right with the 2nd one because i did everything wrong with the first and i lost that at 14wks (when i say wrong i mean i didn't find out until i was 12w6d!)..so i thought i had it all covered 2nd time round, i started pre-natal vitamins before conception, ate healthily (pre-conception also), walked lightly and regularly, got enough sleep, had light sex - the list goes on. i thought i'd covered all areas. but i lost that one at 9 wks i really dont think its anything that you have/havent done - unless you are really putting strain on your changing body or engaging in physically demanding activities! i really wish it were that simple because if it was then everybody would do everything right all the time dont you think? its all down to DNA and unfortunately thats not something we can control

 

[nicb26]

i am not going to tell anyone about the next one til 16 weeks. got too excited last time ...

 

[Reb S]

I agree with Cloud 9 - but I'm still going to do a few things differently - like rest much more; not carry heavy weights; work less hard and communicate more with my baby, even when it's just 6 cells big!

 

[Mrs.Wells]

We learned that we got pregnant on our wedding day, so our honeymoon was a little crazy since we were clueless. I definitely got drunk one night and we were doing some fun, but definitely not that safe things when you are pregnant like 4-wheeling and jumping into a cenote in Mexico from a cliff.

I would try to minimize as much stress as possible. I work with at-risk youth and came back from the honeymoon to many of my clients in crisis.

I have also asked all the people I told the first time around if they would want to know right away or wait until after the first trimester. The majority of them want to know. I think it helped to have those who knew support me through the loss rather going through it only with my DH.