When does it get easier?

[dizzy65]

DH and I decided we are done and are going to separate. I am having a really tough time with it, It hurts so bad. He has said that he has feelings for his ex and has for our entire relationship. I am so hurt and devestated, I can not sleep and I have a hard time forcing my self to eat. All I do right now is cry. When does it get easier? This sucks It does not help that I am staying in our house, where we had all our hopes and dreams that have now been ripped away from me. Ugh I hate this feeling, I feel so lost, So confused

 

[ClairAye]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I just read your introduction post. I can't compare as I was just with my ex for 3 years but I cried, all the time. I had to keep myself busy with the kids and when they were in bed I'd cry myself to sleep on the sofa. I didn't see myself feeling normal again but after 3 or 4 months I did. Though mostly for me it was because I could start seeing that my ex had been emotionally abusive and it actually helped me feel better knowing I was away from him. Of course it takes time but keep yourself busy, take the kids out, take yourself out for a walk if you can and you will start feeling normal again.

I've been single now for almost 2 years and been on my own with the kids for 18 months and I never would have thought 2 years ago that I'd ever be so happy in this situation. I hope you start feeling better soon!

 

[baileybubs]

I'm sorry you feel so bad Hun. As Clairaye says it will get easier Hun. I felt awful for the first few months but slowly I realised how much happier I could be without him. When people said at the time I was better of without him I didn't see how, like you say all those hopes and dreams of a life together have been taken away from you. But soon you will start being able to build new hopes and dreams. Just take each day as it comes and allow yourself to feel upset. As Clairaye says just keep yourself busy, make plans for you and the kids, maybe some things to look forward to.

 

[dizzy65]

Thank you ladies. I had a long talk with him this morning, I do think we will never get back together, I do have some closure and I was actually able to laugh today. I did not sleep in my bed last night but instead slept in the Boys room, Ex H has my oldest so I cuddled up in his bed. It would be a lot easier if everything in this house did not remind me of him. We have family pictures everywhere and everything in here reminds me of what could of been. I have my mom looking to get me into some Lower Income housing here and hopefully I will be out soon. I have asked ex H if he would come home and we could still continue to talk and see if there is anyway to fix this thing. But he is really reluctant to. Next week I am going to stay with a good friend of mine for a few days to get out of my head, that is going to be nice. I am planning lots of distractions. I am thinking I will be living in the house until my oldest is done K so that I don't have to take him out half way through! Anyways thanks for hearing my whine ladies It feels better to let it all out and I feel content knowing one day It will get better and all the pain I am feeling now will Dull!

 

[dizzy65]

I've been feeling a bit better so far today, I've only had one melt down, and it was in the morning before my littles LO woke up. I managed to eat a proper meal today too.. EX H will be here tomorrow he is going to help me learn to drive, I hope its not to awkward. and I will get my oldest Home tomorrow night and the Baby will go with ex H. It is still so hard right now, But I hope with time it will all get better

 

[Beanonorder]

Like the others have said, it gets easier with time. When my dh and I first separated I was pregnant and had no idea how I was going to cope with pregnancy and a toddler and working full time. But I had no choice but to just get on with it. We eventually tried to sort our issues out and I wish we had never bothered. I have ended it this time and although it's tough being alone with two kids I know I've made the right move. It was our wedding anniversary on Monday and that was a bit of a rough day. I was reminded of everything I'd fought so hard for and all the plans we'd had. But I know that now is the time to just look forward and not dwell on the past.
Hugs, glad you've had a better day.

 

[dizzy65]