Why Are American Kids So Spoiled?

[DLA]

https://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2012/07/02/120702crbo_books_kolbert

I found this article fascinating. Do you agree? Is it specific to just American kids ? I'm curious to see other's opinions, especially those outside of US (although I fear the perception people have of American children isn't going to pretty, rightfully so).

I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to raise my son in this type of society NOT to be a spoiled self entitled brat, but to be a person of substance.

 

[lhancock90]

I think, no matter the country, culture, way a child is raised, you will always find some "brats", some children are demanding by nature, it takes all types of personalties to make up the world so these kids have their place. I also think what others consider brattish behaviour in children, they usually grow out of. My ten year old sister has a current sense of entitlement, my Mom should buy her nice things, pay for her acting lessons and she shouldn't have to help out or do any chores in return. Kids have a very very specific way of thinking, they don't tend to understand reasoning or how to give and take at the same time. This is a worldwide kid issue. I remember being an absolute madam as a child because i didn't get everything i wanted then and there, i never felt i had to do chores. Its only as we grow that things change.
Its not a always a generation thing, my Nan and Grandad were apparently horrendously strict when my aunts and Mom were young, however, they all still recall acting totally vile and brattish at times.
I think unfortunately, tv is the biggest culprit for the world thinking American Kids are brat like, things like My Super Sweet 16 and tv dramas do little to show the actual truth.
I don't think its about how you parent either, at some point, kids become their own person and no amount of unconditional/strict/etc parenting can change strong willed children.
One of my closest friends is American, she did a year at here, in England, in Sixth Form, she lived with 2 horrendous families, got on public transport she didn't understand, knew nobody and then came back a year later to go to uni, alone, in Scotland. She doesn't come across as spoiled to me, in fact shes probably the most self reliant and assured person i know

 

[smelly07]

Isnt it because its just a totally different way of life............ the tribe live in villages in their own built little houses, hunt and grow their own food and whats is important is their basic human needs food, water, warmth............. the whole enviroment is different there are no material needs, no electricity to have the internet, phones, tv computer games, the latest clothes and trainers, media influences........ i dont think you can compare children from such a totally different way of life to those who live in america or UK or anywhere similar iykwim x

 

[marley2580]

I think it's UK kids as well and it's all linked to the materialism that is rife in our societies. We go all out for birthdays and xmas, spending hundreds on stuff that just sits in a corner gathering dust. We're constantly being told buy this buy that and your and your kids lives will be better. When I was a kid we were really poor, my mum could hardly afford anything for birthdays and xmas but we had each other and that meant so much. I now consciously limit what I buy our kids as I don't want them to think that life is just about getting more and more stuff.

 

[deafgal]

I think kids today take life for granted. We have water, food, washing machines, dishwashers, and entertainments at our convience. living in villages is about survival so they know if they don't pitch in and make life more difficult , they could go to bed without food or water or other things they need.

 

[marley2580]

I should probably have added that my kids have chores to do and they are expected to do them. If they choose not to, as they can, they don't get the tick or the star which means they'll miss out on a treat. However, apart from the chores they are expected to tidy up their own mess. They live here therefore they are expected to contribute to its upkeep.

 

[DLA]

I agree with the poster that said it has to do with materialism. I think it's disgusting what's valued and idolized (ie: money, celebrities, fancy cars, fashion, looks ect). It's all wrong IMO. I think most people have there priorities screwed up big time.

 

[Sarahkka]

What an interesting read! Thank you!

I am very concerned with the current culture of "helicopter parenting" and the loss of unsupervised, unstructured free time for a child's development. I'm working very hard to minimize stuff and focus on experience and compassion with my kids. Helping each other around the house is a big part of that.
I also found the French parenting philosophy very interesting. I like that there is a challenge to this idea that it's not possible to raise a self-confident child who doesn't also firmly believe that the world revolves around his navel!
I don't think that this phenomenon is just about American kids, though. I think many children in the western world would be classified as spoiled by the research cited.
And oh how sick that image of the rooms so cluttered with junky toys made me feel! Not even being able to walk to their beds? Those kids are being hugely affected by that kind of cluttered and chaotic environment! I feel distracted and crazy when our house gets too cluttered, and I know we have far less crap than the average North American household. I cannot imagine what that kind of material chaos is doing to their little psyches - it's like their parents are literally drowning them in stuff!

 

[Yammas]

Working in a nursery I see it all the time children brought in wearing designer clothes which their only going to puke, drool on or get otherwise dirty and the latest handheld gadget yet they have no clue about manners and all hell breaks loose if they dont get thier own way.(not saying all are like this just some) With parents working so much they try to replace the time they dont get to spend with stuff not to mention peer pressure and pester power.

The celebrity culture in the UK irritates me with people from shows like The Only Way Is Essex getting famous for being stupid and young girls getting boob jobs so they can become glamour models I wish we could go back to celebrating people who have actually done something good rather than 'famous for famous sake' I think advertising has a lot to answer for they know exactly how pester power works

 

[DanielleM]

This is a tough one really, as a parent of a child who has grown up in western society I suppose it is the norm to have 3 game consoles a laptop and a flat screen TV in your bedroom at the age of 7 which is what my son has. I dress my child, take him to the toilet, lift him in and out of the car, cut up his food. My child is physically disabled and I have to do this. As for the electronic equipment, I can't buy him a bike/scooter to play outside on, nor can he go outside and play hopscotch or kirby like I used to, and yes in a way by buying him expensive electronic equipment it is my way of making up for his disability.

But on the other hand I will definatley make my younger son who is still only 1 a hell of a lot more indpendant due to the fact that E takes up A LOT of my time and also the fact that he can do these things, being able bodied he will be taught to be thankful for the things that he can do iygwim.

As for the comparison between the Peruvian tribe and the Western children, it is a typical example of how societies are totally different. Some tribes run about naked, if we did that here in the UK you would be arrested for indecent exposure!!!

And as for the parents who let their children rule them, or the woman who let her lay about son sponge off her after spending thousands on tuition fees, then more fool them.

 

[JASMAK]

They are comparing two completely different society, with comp,etely opposite roles and expectations. The article, although interesting, is completely flawed and 'unscientific'

 

[PitaKat]

it's all linked to the materialism that is rife in our societies.

I agree, materialism is becoming the main priority in western societies, if its not already. The article compared two very different societies, but also compared two very different sets of priorities.

I think giving your child everything they want is not good for building character. As an adult, you have to work for the things you want. If they're not taught that as a child, they can enter adulthood feeling entitled to whatever it is that they want.

I also think what others consider brattish behaviour in children, they usually grow out of.

I think that's true of some children, but not most. You don't grow out of learned behaviors.

 

[lesleyann]

I think the problem starts from a young age..

I know kyle can put his shoes on himself sometimes he does not want to, I tell him his a big boy and knows how to do it, but if he gets flustered with it I help but only by holding the shoe in place and he does the rest, however a friend whos child can do his own shoes asks and mum does not even question it she just does it. Same with walking I know kyle can walk a bloody long way as can said childs friend again (when I have him) but 5mins down the road and its mummy carry me and she does.

If we never teach our children they can do these things for themselves and just do what ever they ask they will turn out like the US children in the study. Yes we should not force children to grow up to fast but there is nothing wrong with putting their shoes on themselves or grabbing the milk out of the fridge while the parent gets the bowl etc