Why does no one believe...

[Cupcake11]

I can do it!!!

I am only 5+1 but have always wanted a home birth, even before being pregnant, but soon as I mention it to anyone, they always even laugh as I can't take the pain, or start going on about how unsafe it is and I should seriously think about going to hospital!

Even when I say I feel really strongly about wanting a natural birth, they scof and say you wont be saying that when you feel the pain!! That may be the case, but I'd like to make that decision! Its like there making me feel the pain before its even started!!

Just wish people wern't so judgemental!!

Anyone else find the same?

xxx

 

[tripletsOMG]

I def have had the same exp. when my mom got wind of it she was terribly negitive and looked at hubby and said "dont think she will sit at home for long theres no way" then all the negitive ur gonna die talk started so i just agree with her now when she mentions hospital i'm like yeah ok well we will see I am still fully planning on our hb regardless of her opinion but it does make me sad to not have the support

 

[Pielette]

Pah, just ignore them. I'm the kind of person who used to cry when I stubbed my toe (seriously!) and I had a completely natural, drug-free home water birth. My husband never shuts up about how strong I was and how I didn't scream, just made low moaning noises and concentrated.
Oh and I'm 5ft 2 by the way!
It was the most amazing experience and if you have a positive mindset you can do ANYTHING. Literally! They'll all shut up when you manage it!

 

[Whitbit22]

My husband seems to think my odds are high that I will transfer because of the pain. I'm pretty sure it's because of how much I whined about the pain after my emergency appendectomy.. but that's so much different! I am very stubborn when I want things a certain way I have a tendency to follow through.

 

[Narie]

I've gone from being 16 weeks (and only my Gran being supportive of a hb) to now being 28+ weeks and all my family being supportive. If you really can't cope with the pain you can always go into hospital but I'm sure you will be fine.

 

[Samantha675]

You can do it hun. Support is so key. My first labor, I only had my husband and while he did his best to help me, he did know quite how.

This time we took a hypno birth class, and hired a doula. My labor was amazing and so different from my first. It was intense and overwhelming and i wanted to quit, but with the support of my husband and doula I made it to 9 1/2-10 cm. If my stinky baby had not been breech I would have push him out like a freaking champ!!!

I did used the tens in early labor, but found it annoying after awhile.

Trust your body, and build a good soild birth team and you will be great!!!

 

[fuffyburra]

Yup my mum's like it. She's fully supportive of home births and defends them when other people scoff at them, yet she seems to think it's just ME that can't do it. She's actually singled me out as incapable which has annoyed me quite a bit.

I'm just ignoring her. I've never given birth before so she obviously has more experience than me, and I guess I'm still her baby. The only thing I can do is prove her wrong if I can, and if not then just do whatever is best for me and the baby at the time.

She thinks I won't be able to cope with the pain, but being in a hospital with a massively increased chance of intervention scares me a whole lot more! I won't be going there unless there's a serious problem.

 

[Kess]

I had a few people say that, though luckily my immediate family were supportive. But I managed to birth my 9lb5oz baby at home (I'm 5'2") with just a bit of gas and air, plus of course all the great pain relief you can have at home like birth pool, tens, massage, movement, hypnobirthing. Yes, it hurt. But it was manageable, and it would've almost certainly hurt more in hospital - studies have shown women birthing in hospital consistently report more pain than those birthing at home. Besides, it truly is a different sort of pain. I wasn't sure what people meant when they said that before I had my baby, but it doesn't feel like an injury sort of pain, the type that screams something is wrong. It's more like the pain of aching muscles after hard physical activity. Honestly, I'm a wimp, and I'd do the contractions again tomorrow, no trouble. The only bit I wouldn't want to do again is what MW thinks was the stretching of my symphisis pubis more than normal as his head was coming, which bloody hurt, but apparently isn't typical, so don't worry!

 

[madasa]

Way to set you up for success

I hate that there is so much focus on ARGGHHH!!! THE PAIN!!!! as if that is all there is to the experience. Grrrr!

 

[Mervs Mum]

oh and congratulations!!!!

 

[chuck]

People only ever remember horror stories and their own fears and have no shame ion dumping that on you.

Tell them thats nice but this is what I'm planning because I'm not scared and I can do it.

 

[Kimimi]

You can do it of course! A home birth is wonderful. My first 2 were in hospital, stress, drugs, long horrible labours etc. This one at home, wonderful, about 7 hrs in total - and I am 42 years old, plus have biggish babies (9lbs!). I would recommend totally - I loved it, and would love to do all over again, every second of the birth, (unfortunately given my age this is my last baby otherwise I would definitely do again - I live East Sussex by the way) xxx

 

[NuKe]

i dont have the same as i have had one child already. if anyone said that to me id just go "we'll see" with a smug smile on my face

 

[arj]

If there is no complications during the birth then you will be fine! You'll have no choice but to handle the pain, and its doable! My Mum had a 11lb baby on the couch with in an hour, made it look easy LOL Just remember its different for every one, if something does go wrong and you have to go to hospital, don't feel down on yourself or like you've failed, some things happen that are out of your control. (happened to me, wanted a waterbirth) =( All the best for a home birth!!

 

[lovely_lady]

OMG! i hear the same thing. It's mainly from my in laws, but that just makes me want to do it that much more. When they say things, I just think "Now im going to prove you wrong!" I was thinking water birth, but even if i change my mind about that, no drugs for me.

 

[Mrs_X]

everyone is being like this with me but with a waterbirth. im going to prove them wrong

 

[ladykt]

I announced my pregnancy over Thanksgiving and the 1st comment out of several people's mouths were "I highly recommend the epidural". I didn't let their opinion dissuade me - everyone is entitled to their own experience. But it is disappointing that when I mentioned I would be trying for natural birth in an ABC, I was met with a sentiment of "yeah, that won't happen". This forum is a great reminder that it can and does happen everyday! You'll do great! A lot of women here do NOT recommend the epidural!

 

[bettny]

my mum was on board with it but my oh's parents and his mates are not. they keep telling me i could die or baby could die they just dont get it and wont listen and are scaring my hubby, also with the 'o well ull get taken to hospital after the first contraction' pfft plez how do u know wat i am capable of?!?!?
my body was made for this and ye if sumthing goes wrong or i really cant do it without more drugs than just gas and air ill go to hospital not like the option disappears but i want to at least try before i give in!
my side of the family are cool with it as my grandma had all 8 of her kids at home it seems pretty normal 2 them and me lol they just said 'oo that will be nice, u can have her and get into ur own bed with her to rest'.
dont listen to the people that say u cant do it we are capable of amazing things when we put our minds to it and stay positive!