Why does pregnancy have to test relationships!!

[Mummyxofx2]

Isn't pregnancy supposed to bring a couple together. Bringing a new life into the world it's supposed to be a joyous occasion. Then why %70 of the time does it make relationships harder? I know things are different with our hormones and stuff going on with our bodies but why do men change? My df has become such a selfish lover since we became pregnant even though I warned him what pregnancy and having a newborn is like.

 

[pola17]

As this isn´t my case, everyone I´ve known have gone through this... now, I´m aware that even tho my husband has been sweet, maybe once baby is here, he might get annoyed, or who knows!
But what I´ve seen in all these cases, is that men are nervous as they have all kind of concerns, so hopefully is just that.

Good news is that always they end up delighted and they become easier to be around once baby is here!

Sorry you feel your relationship is being tested, but tell your OH how you feel, maybe he doesn´t know he´s doing things that are affecting you!

 

[Mummyxofx2]

Oh trust me he knows. He is the perfect man with absolutely everything until it comes to sex then he turns into the most selfish person ever. He don't care how I feel as long as he gets abit and its really testing my patience. I thought the older they get the better they get with going without but obviously not in my df's case. I mean its not going to break us up or anything but I'm really starting to resent who he turns into when he wants some.

 

[Bubsta]

I think sometimes it can depend on a Lot of factors. For me, first pregnancy was in total bliss until MC. Had to them take toxic meds and wasn't able try and conceive for 12months. When we next fell, after the fear of losing bubs subsided, my hormones were good and I thoroughly enjoyed being pregnant and my moods and affection/emotions showed this. As our 'first' with no distractions, the pregnancy did bring us closer together.
This time around (after suffering another MC in between), I feel distant with my DH. I'm feeling soo much older, I'm not enjoying being pregnant like I was with my DD. we have the distraction of looking after a 5 year old. I don't have any desire to be intimate. (We've only DTD x2 since finding out!! Poor Hubs!) I think your OH should be grateful that you are even interested in sex! Once things settle down, I'm sure the closeness will return. Xx

 

[Mummyxofx2]

My df hasnt gone without for longer than 7 days. The thing is I'm sooooo not interested in sex it hurts soo bad a few times I have actually been in tears by the end of it he is all lovey dovey afterwards saying sorry we I don't want anymore until she is here I dot want to put you through the pain. Then a week later he's at me again and he knows ill give in because I hate the tension between us if I don't. I'm constantly telling him how much it hurts during and afterwards he is all
Nice as pie says all the right things. Until it comes to the crunch =( sorry about posting this on here. I have no friends and my mum takes his side over everything so I have no one to talk to and I needed to get it out before I did say something to df that I would regret.

 

[Mummyxofx2]

Btw I already have 2 girls from previous relationship ( one was a result of rape) so sex is a huge deal to me at the best of times let alone when feeling pressured into it.

 

[pola17]

Ohhh I see... this topic is sex related!

I honestly have no idea! I have realized men do seem to find pregnant women hot!

I wish I could give you any advice, if he knows how you feel about it, and yet he still wants, I dunno what would make him wait!

But it´s good what you said: it´s not gonna break you!

 

[Bubsta]

Your partner needs a reality check. He needs to stop being so selfish. You need to remind him when is 'asking' for some, of what he said last time you DTD. That he respects you as the mother of his unborn child and its uncomfortable and hurts you. You might need to try being a bit more forceful with telling him to wait so he doesn't keep hassling knowing you will eventually give in. It's not fair in you. X. Lets be blunt... He has a hand. He needs to use it!

 

[mom2b2013]

Oh wow that is so inconsiderate of him!! Its bad enough that you have to carry the discomfort and burden of being pregnant and giving birth so the very least he should respect your needs. On top of that he is probably retraumatizing you from the horrible experience of rape.
If talking to him honestly about how it makes you feel doesn't work then maybe you could lie to him. I know its wrong but you could say that sex is causing you to have contractions and your dr. advised you not to do it anymore. Its actually true that in a small % of women sex can cause a woman to go into premature labour. I'm really sorry you have to go through this and I hope you husband will stop being such a b@stard.

 

[Dooditsglory]

I feel the same way right now.I don't understand why men cannot understand its different sometimes it hurts and we are creating a human life to have respect for us.I am throughly aggravated about it with my hubby as well. It doesn't help that i feel like a disgusting fat blob of a human at this time either.I try to chalk it up to hormones but at least they can be a bit more understanding.Then again my husband has changed a lot since I have become pregnant in other ways that are testing our relationship and straining our relationship.I feel your pain and im sorry you are having to go through it.

 

[Mummyxofx2]

Thanks heaps for listening girls. I just needed to clear my cheat before dh or home from work the pregnancy hormones are making things that are ment to be kept secretly hidden in my head one out in not so nice ways and the last thing I want is an argument lol

 

[lilesMom]

Btw I already have 2 girls from previous relationship ( one was a result of rape) so sex is a huge deal to me at the best of times let alone when feeling pressured into it.

hugs honey xxxxxxx he is being a horses ass to u xxxxx
its not the end of the world if he doesnt get some and its not ur job to be in pain to provide it xxxxx
we gave up on sex for a long time this preg cos in start i was afraid of mc and later my back was so sore i couldnt move or enjoy it at all .
OH never even commented, when im feeling well enough i initiate it and he seems happy , other than that we dont do it
i have experience of rape too hon a long long time ago.
i thank my Oh for feeling fine about sex now, but if i felt pressurised i know it would not sit well with me .
tell him how u feel hon and let him bugger off till u feel like u want sex xxxx
he isnt the preg one xxxxxxxx

 

[CatherineK]

I don't mean to jump in, but i have to say this. The fact that your husband still pushes (and gets off) on sex when you are to the point of crying and hurting is not normalMale behavior. It is sick and twisted and he needs to stop. His need for see sound more like a sick power trip, and I would tell him to eff off.

 

[rowleypolie]

Hugs! I can't add much to the difficulties you are going through. The only suggestion I have is oral. My guy loves it and then you can save yourself from the pain.

 

[lilesMom]

Hugs! I can't add much to the difficulties you are going through. The only suggestion I have is oral. My guy loves it and then you can save yourself from the pain.

im being a meanie but i would feel he is then being rewarded for being a meanie oral for u both maybe yeah , not just him

 

[Jess125]

Oh trust me he knows. He is the perfect man with absolutely everything until it comes to sex then he turns into the most selfish person ever. He don't care how I feel as long as he gets abit and its really testing my patience. I thought the older they get the better they get with going without but obviously not in my df's case. I mean its not going to break us up or anything but I'm really starting to resent who he turns into when he wants some.

I know what you mean. DH and I have only had sex a couple times during my whole pregnancy because I was afraid of MC at first and it was also really uncomfortable and hurt the last time. He gets in a terrible mood and fights with me when he's not getting any so I've been pleasing him in other ways at least once a week. He turns into the nicest and happiest person ever after that. I haven't been interested in sex so sometimes all I want is just a massage or footrub and he acts annoyed about it when I've been doing stuff for him for 9 months! Men can really be so selfish.

It should be interesting to see what happens once the baby gets here because I can guarantee I'm going to be too tired to do anything for him. Hopefully he will be concentrating on the baby and not his own needs for once.

 

[Equreuil]

I think in my case, I don't think he's changed so much as I'm noticing some of his bad habits more than I did.

I'm starting to think more in terms of how something will affect us as family of three rather than just as a couple, so it's more irritating than it used to be when he wants to spend money on himself, or starts bitching about how much he has to work.

I'm pretty sure it's the same with sex. It's probably not so much that he's gotten pushier so much as I've gotten more stubborn about refusing him if I'm not in the mood so we go longer between. I feel bad but with being as far along as I am, sex is just downright uncomfortable. I really wish I was one of those women where pregnancy causes higher drive, but I'm not.

 

[Mummyxofx2]

Thanks heaps ladies.

And I'm also glad I'm not they only one with a male
That sooks about not getting enough lol. I have told
Him he can wait until I feel like it now because it has been on his terms pretty much for the last 30 weeks lol lets see what happens. He has said he feels bad and the crap he has said since It started hurting so hmmm let's see what happens over the next 7 weeks (if I go full term)