Will it ever get better?

[Breeelizabeth]

I hope you don't mind ladies but I need to let some things out and because I don't have anyone around me I thought this would be the place to. I thought I was starting to recover from PND. But then my support networks fell apart, my baby got sick and before I knew it I was feeling lower than ever.

I'm so stressed and I try to calm down but she screams all day every day and now she's starting to scream all night (from her reflux and lactose intolerance plus they have found a problem with her heart.) I'm so worried that I'll snap and hurt her. I'm a single, teen mum who is alone 24/7 with the baby. My parents used to help out but they've decided now that it's my responsibility and I need to deal with it and I understand. My dad keeps telling me that I'm not a good mum and that I shouldn't have brought her into the world because he knew I wouldn't cope.

I can't leave the house. I can't do anything without crying. I'm at the end of my tether, I'm tired and I really don't want to be here anymore.

Please tell me it gets better.

 

[BlingyGal]

I didn't want to read and run...I'm not much help, I don't live in Australia but you sound like you're at your wits end and need help or, at least, someone to talk to!

BIG HUGS TO YOU!

I see NSW has a Parent Line: https://www.parentline.org.au/
Please try calling it, maybe they can get you some extra support.

It says:

Parent Line is a telephone counselling, information and referral service for parents of children ages 0 to 18 who live in New South Wales. Our service includes the Early Childhood Intervention Infoline since early 2011, providing information and support about concerns about child development, disabilities and developmental delays.

Parents, grandparents and carers anywhere in the state can call Parent Line on 1300 1300 52 for no more than the cost of a local call. We are available 9am to 9 pm Monday to Friday, and 4pm to 9pm on weekends.

Calls are answered directly by our team of trained, professional counsellors. Our staff are paid professionals with training in parenting programs and qualifications in social work or psychology. Each of our counselling staff have many years of experience in helping families deal with ordinary parenting dilemmas and a range of more difficult problems.

We can also provide support and information for professionals working with parents and children, including advice for supporting parents, referral to services, details about how we can support families, newsletter articles and more.

Parent Line has been supporting NSW parents for over 15 years. We answer over 10 000 calls each year.

 

[BabyCleo]

Omg you poor thing.

Im from SA originally, Adelaide. Firstly, please don't be hard on yourself. You are a brave young woman! You are raising a baby on a harder level than most. I haven't had my baby yet, so I cant talk about PND, but I do have a panic disorder and PTSD. If you can, give the number the other poster gave you, and maybe give your doctor a call if you can.

Your parents need to understand this is a hard thing to do, even for mummies who are married and older. Do you have a friend who can maybe help you for a bit? Its also not okay for your dad to tell you that you are a bad parent. You are NOT a bad parent. You can PM me anytime and I can give you my email address to email me if you even just need to vent. Like I said, I suffer from panic attacks, an anxiety disorder and depression.. and PTSD. Im very aware of depression and the effects of it.

Please don't hesitate to reach out. Sending you all the internet hugs in the world

 

[Melly Belly]

Agreeing with both previous posters, i think you should definitely talk to someone, either the phone line support, or a friend, heck, i talked to my OB and she was a great listener, told me all about how she hated breastfeeding her babies, because that was the biggest source of my anxiety

getting out of the house, even just for a little might also help you, maybe try taking baby out for walks in a stroller or wrap/carrier? though, that might not be feasible, depending on the weather..(its snowy and cold here in Ohio ) or if you have a relative (or a trusted neighbor?) that would be willing to watch her for an hour even, so you can take a walk by yourself/go out somewhere? is it possible she could be cutting teeth also (not to add into the issues, but it could be!) and maybe just needs a little comfort/something to chew on/baby tylenol?

Being a parent is definitely not easy, no matter the situation, and your dad shouldnt be saying those things to you..it sounds like he either has forgotten the sleepless nights, or your mom was the lucky one that got up with you when you were a baby...the fact that you are asking for help and advise tells me that you are not a "bad parent"...one of the things our family doctor said to us when we brought our baby to him for the first visit is "you really cant screw it up, seriously!"

I had really bad PN anxiety and took lexapro for about 7 months after our daughter was born, because i just stressed over everything, i couldnt stop crying, and i didnt want to eat as much as normal, didnt want to go anywhere, etc...(looking back, the not eating as much might not have been a bad thing, since i could stand to lose some pounds ) i was so worried i was going to mess something up, i couldnt get her to latch the way she was in the hospital, and pumping i wasnt making nearly enough to keep her fed, even when i was doing hours a day... i was hardly getting any sleep, and any sleep i did get i was waking up to make sure she was breathing

It does get easier, but having support it super important, and talking about what issues you might be running into does also...like BabyCleo said, if you would like, feel free to PM me also, i can try to answer any questions for you or just to talk, no problem at all...you will do wonderful, regardless , many many hugs to you!