Will they learn to sleep through the night on their own?

[fashionlover]

Or is it important to implement a schedule? I have heard mixed reviews. Most people saying do not even try a schedule until 6 weeks...thoughts?
My DD seems to want to feed endlessly and I am literally drained. Trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[SarahBear]

I think it depends largely on your parenting style and expectations. If you expect your child to master this skill at an early age, then letting them learn it on their own will likely not work for you. If you expect that it is a developmental skill that will sort itself out in time, you're likely to be more patient. If you have a more parent-led parenting style, you may be more comfortable with a schedule. If you're more child-led, a schedule might feel too rigid.

Personally, I'm a more child-led sort. Sleep has its ups and downs no matter what approach you take. Do know that there IS light and this IS temporary. It will get easier the next time you hit a bump in the road with sleep because you'll know it's not a permanent thing

 

[Dragonfly84]

I would say don't even try to implement a schedule, let your baby tell you when she's hungry and when she's full. Remember that breast milk digests from start to finish in 90 minutes, so yes, it will seem like she feeds endlessly at first, but there IS light at the end of the tunnel and this is just a small amount of time in the big picture of her life.

She needs not only you for milk, but for love, comfort, safety, and security that she gets from you when you feed her. Just know you are doing a great job, and try to nap when she naps, as hard as that may seem, even an hour nap during the day will help you feel like you have more energy.

 

[optimistic1]

I don't think my DD left my chest at all for more than an hour or two until she was about 7-8 weeks. There's so many back to back growth spurts in the early weeks so its hard to get any kind of schedule going.

My DD is now 10 weeks (although we've had sleep issues) she sleeps a good 6-7 hours through the night and takes 2-3 decent naps during the day so there is light its just so hard to see it when your sleep deprived!

 

[NoodleSnack]

I think you have to differentiate between a schedule, a routine and sttn. From reading the forum, LOs tend to develop a routine at around 3months, they get tired and hungry at a more regular interval, and you can help things along by feeding them and putting them down for naps at regular intervals. I think a strict schedule (as in bottle at 7, nap at 8) might be more stressful if your LO is not cooperative. STTN might happen if you're lucky, I'm resigning myself to disrupted sleep for the next year at least. You're at one of the worst time right now, just try to slug through, it will get better and one day you'll be able to plan your day, know roughly when she eats and sleeps etc. I felt so much better when that happened...until the damn 4 month sleep regression, but that too shall pass, I promise

 

[OmiOmen]

I think you have to differentiate between a schedule, a routine and sttn.

^WSS^

A routine is something a baby will fall into themselves and a schedule is something you put in place and this will depend on your parenting style. The possibility of both of those things is a lot like the STTN question and the answer is that every baby is different and no one can really answer that for you.

DS1 was a 'high needs' baby and in retrospect I question if he had tongue-tie all along and there was no possibility of a schedule or routine and he didn't STTN for the first time until 3 days after we stopped BF'ing which was at 21 months old. The first year I got between 45 minutes to 3 hours of broken up sleep a night and between 12-21 months it was 4-6 hours of broken up sleep. DS2 started only waking up twice a night at a couple of weeks old (before that it was 3-4 times a night) and the other night, at just over 2 months old, only woke up once. The reason for this isn't parenting style but that they both are so different.

 

[Fortune Cooki]

From what I can tell, every kid is different. My LO had massive growth spurts during weeks 4 and 5 where I really didn't sleep much. She started sleeping 5 hour stretches at night, sometimes up to 8 hours. This has been the same from week 6 to now week 11. However, my friends with 3 month olds are having to get up a bunch of times in the middle of the night to feed. I don't know yet if my LO will do that at 3 months. I do the same thing every night -- I cluster feed her in the evening until she is so full that she passes out for the night. Last night she slept 11 hours uninterrupted. That is rare, but it happens.

 

[Pearls18]

I think babies do need encouragement and routine is the best form, I'm not saying bath at 7, boob at 7.20, and bed by 7.30, that just doesn't wrk with new born's (well in my experience) we had "cycles" such as feed, sleep, play as he got older you would notice these cycles would set into times almost, usually 3-4 hourly so depending on when he woke up I could picture our day. Then about 4 months I implemented a bedtime and it was a little more parent led than baby led, the key is self settling, then worry about STTN. You can't teach a baby to STTN perse, but I believe you can to self settle. By 5 months DS was self settling, by 8 months STTN. But the first 6 weeks? I think it's establishing a routine to keep you going rather than to teach baby to sleep IMO. Just my thoughts from a rusty toddler mum!

 

[Jary]

Sounds like your LO is having a growth spurt! Yes they will eventually settle into a routine. We are very lucky with our little one; from about 4/5 weeks I would put her in her cot and after about 15 mins she'd fall asleep. If she wasn't content however then I'd pick her up, I'm personally not a believer in CIO. I'm baby led too like another poster...at first we didn't worry about a routine because new babies cluster feed and like to be cuddled since the big wide world is so different to being all cosy in your tummy!

Alice now seems to be used to me getting her ready for bed by changing her nappy, putting in her sleep suit, giving her a feed in the darkened bedroom and saying 'lets go sleepy bye byes'. By trying to do the same thing once she started sleeping in her cot she's gotten good at settling down and has even STTN a few times!

It'll all fall into place! But every baby is different and they all do it at different times.

 

[TheNewMrs]

I think a routine is an important part of any childs life but I dont believe babies need to be trained to sleep. Western society is obsessed with sleep! Its crazy.

It's healthy for every child to learn that in the morning we get up, eat breakfast, wash and get dressed. At night we brush our teeth, (or gums!) get our PJs on, and relax and wind down before bed. I don't think that needs to be a rigid time scale, more of a knowing thats what we do.

As for STTN, you might be waiting a LOOOOOONG time for that to happen. Remember when people joked about how "you'll never sleep again" once baby comes... they wern't joking! I know lots of babies who go through phases of STTN and then it all goes out the window once big developmental milestones and growth spurts come along.

Personally I don't agree with sleep training, the methods, or the affects it has on a baby or child. Lots of parents do it and thats their choice but if someone was asking me about it I would tell them that I believe the only thing it teaches is that "it doesn't matter how hard you cry or how upset you are, Mommy and Daddy don't care, wont meet your needs and you are alone" that's all it says to me anyway- others will disagree and thats fine. Thats how I see it and that's why we don't and won't do it.

 

[staralfur]

Jeez, no one said anything about sleep training.

Anyway, OP, I don't think STTN and a schedule are related at all when it comes to young babies. Some babies STTN from birth and others don't do it until they're 2. It's sort of just luck of the draw (for the record mine just started STTN consistently at 15 months).

A routine certainly wouldn't hurt anything, but I'd stay away from scheduling feeds.

 

[nevernormal]

We've had a bedtime routine since I brought him home, but it's not always the same time or anything. You might have to help your LO get nights & days straight but she'll probably still wake some. Just maybe settle straight back to sleep at night.

Eventually yes she'll probably learn it on your own. However, there are many ways to gently encourage good sleep habits when it's age appropriate. As parents we tend encourage and celebrate other milestones, and I don't think it's any different to parent them in regards to sleep.

However, in the early days, it's good to remember that babies sleep the way they do for a reason. It's a great protection against SIDS . Also, they go through lots of growth spurts in the beginning, so for a while it really will seem like they are on the boob all of the time! Lastly, (personally) I think it's more important to encourage good sleep habits like teaching them how to fall asleep on their own, rather than be worried about how long they sleep. It won't happen overnight, and there are ways to do it without letting them cry a bunch, but overall my goal is to help him have a positive outlook at going to sleep on his own.

Not saying that we've got there yet! He's almost 12 weeks but I still have a hard time putting him down drowsy-but-awake.

If you're really struggling, can you pump a bottle and let your OH or mom or someone take over one feeding for you, so you can get some sleep?

 

[iwantabub]

IMO STTN and routines have nothing to do wih each other usually.

Baby's get hungry... They learn after a lil while that night is night .. But u can't stop em from getting hungry in the middle of the night.

U just have to ride it out

Saying that a routine does help with them working out its night time.
We wrap him twice read a story and feed in a dim room then he sleeps ...

He sleeps from 9.30 til 3.30 usually.
But again he decided that was his bed time ... Not me.


And again it has nothing to do with Sttn at all! He still gets hungry