wondering if i actually dealt with my previos miscarriage

[MadamRose]

Im now wondering if i ever actually dealt with my MMC or whether i just still cover it all up?
I concived my angel on my birthday last year (a year ago tomorrow) and ive been so emotinal tonight and OH is at work so not been able to speak to him.
After having a chat with one of the Ladies on PAL/winter babys 2010, its made me think if i have really dealt with it
My baby died at 7 weeks but i didnt start bleeding until 11 weeks non of my family have ever lost a baby, so they didnt understand. My OH had a rough relationship before ours so finds it hard to show emotion which didnt help. I have never really spoke about it to anyone. didnt get offered any counselling or anything. Me and OH spoke about it twice and set of a lantern on angels due date, but i dont feel ive ever really been able to speak about my feelings.
Im sat here in tears writing this which i know wont help my baby who im carrying now. Could just do with a bit of support

 

[Carmello_01]

Oh hunny, I'm so sorry your are feeling this way - please don't beat yourself up for missing your angel bub.
I am so,so,so grateful to be pregnant again, but that doesn't mean I'm not sad for the babies that were lost...many tears have been shed, and I'm sure many more will be in the future. I don't think it's about 'not having dealt with it', more it's another stage on this roller coaster journey.
Your feelings are valid and please don't dismiss them...my OH and I rarely speak about our losses which brings its own pain as you know. I just tell myself he's dealing with it in his own caveman way - and like you on one else in my family had experienced this pain either. In the end I sought counseling myself and it has been beyond worthwhile.

 

[MissyMojo]

hey babes,

counselling really did help me get past everything i was feeling about my mmc , and move on, speak to your mw/gp about perhaps a session or two,

sending you love and strength, and try darling to have a happy birthday, if you cant - dont hide behind the "im fine" mask - be honest with yourself and be honest with your family xx

 

[MadamRose]

I see my doctor on the 15 about unrelated issues. I might mention it then and see if i can get some counselling, seeing as its hard to speak to OH and i have no other family i would be good.
Thanks for both your relpies

 

[mrsjo]

We had a MMC in Feb this year. I found it hard to deal with and my DH is not usually the emotional type. I waited until he was drunk one night at home with me and then I spoke to him about how I felt. It was good to see how he felt and share my feelings. I also talked to a close friend because I needed to debrief and get things off my chest.

This pregnancy (I am only in 5th week) I have told a couple of people at work that I am close to. I realized that I need someone to share things with for good or bad and the girls at work understand more than hubby about what I am going through.

Find someone who can offer you support and like the others said counsellings is also a good option. I hope you work through everything and feel better soon.

 

[Mizze]

I can recommend counselling too. I am very lucky in that my work offer it. I had my first mmc in August and the second at the end Nov/beginning Dec and I didnt deal with the first one because I was pregnant again as soon as we started trying again losing the 2nd felt like the world caving in but again I didnt really deal with the anger. I didnt start bleeding until week 11 (same week as now) but had lost the baby at 6 weeks and was so damn angry with my body for all that deception. I finally got counselling in February after my Dr signed me off with acute stress. The counsellor is lovely. (In fact I need to book an appointment again) He got me to understand how traumatic this was - in fact he treated me for PTSD. He also gave me some techniques on how to sleep again (only strong sleep meds were doing it for me and both the Dr and I wanted off them asap.

So counselling REALLY helped

Mizze xx

 

[Agiboma]

i lost a baby @ 17 weeks in dec.08. and words cannot describe the emotional termoil i went through for over a year. my heart somehow stopped hurting when i conceived my son that i am currently pregnant with, i didnt even know i was pregnant until i was 13 weeks along. and this may sound strange but its like an angel from god just touched my heart in an instant and healed me of my pain. ( this may sound strange but its the best way i can describe it)
the point i am trying to make is that you will always remember the babies you lost the pain may decrease over time but the memories live on forever.