Working Fertility appointments/treatments around work/life...?

[valentine1]

Just wondering how everyone goes working the pressures and what nots of seeing fertility specialists, feeling sick from medications or feeling down from the whole thing and also any assisted conception with work.

Particularly work circumstances, have you told them what's happening or what have you said?

I'll be very interested to find out as I'm struggling with all this!

 

[star25]

Hi, it definitely isn't easy! I'm a manager so not too bad as I can choose my time off, though I've got a laparoscopy tomorrow so had to ask the girl who does the Rotas to put me on hol for a week and had my appointment at short notice?I had told her about the lap though as quite close but it's a care home and not easy to keep taking time off when there's so much to do!
My boss has been great though, I told her only recently so a few more people are starting to know than I would have liked!

What is it you do? X

 

[arizonagal]

I didn't want to tell anyone at work. I know it shouldn't matter but I hate to think that I would be passed up for promotion because they're worried I'm focused on TTC. I just say I have to go get allergy shots or something like that. So they know its a doctors appt but not too many details

 

[foquita]

I had to tell work because I work in a call centre and can't just take time off, and for time off I have to show appointment cards that all say 'assisted conception' on them it was really upsetting and humiliating for me.

I got a new job recently and had to fill out a form for occupational health which meant I had to declare that I have PCOS, that I take letrozole and ovitrelle, and that I am currently seeing a fertility specialist I was so worried that they would decide to not give me the job because of that (even though they had already offered me the job!) but as far as I know that would be against the law? and anyway, it was fine i got clearance from occupational health after speaking to them.

what do you work as? is it difficult to get time off?

 

[AmyJane84]

Just wondering how everyone goes working the pressures and what nots of seeing fertility specialists, feeling sick from medications or feeling down from the whole thing and also any assisted conception with work.

Particularly work circumstances, have you told them what's happening or what have you said?

I'll be very interested to find out as I'm struggling with all this!

We've been TTC for 2 yrs now, and had various appointments with the hospital and was on Clomid for3 months which made me totally for 3m. I didnt tell my employer (just say that I have a hospital appointment, and nothing more) and have told few friends, as I've found that they ask about the progress when I don't always want to talk about it....

 

[McIreland]

I have the hardest time getting off work for all my clomid appointments. I teach 1st grade, and the other 1st grade teachers literally glare at me if I take any time off, or question me repeatedly. It stresses me out so much! There is no way I'm telling them we're TTC! Next month will be even worse because we're doing clomid/IUI. My RE is amazing though, she will see patients on the weekend if they desperately need it.

 

[pinksprinkles]

I don't know how anyone does it either. I quit working in order to deal with the up to 3x a week appointments and the horrible side effects from all the medications. My first cycle of Provera (last July) left me severely ill for a month. At that point I quit work (I had been working as a doula) and took a break from my school work (studying childbirth education). I just couldn't work with pregnant women while not being able to become one. It was just too terribly difficult. Thankfully, my husband is able to support us both, so it has been possible for me to take the time off for fertility treatment.

 

[Pinkie 33]

Hi, having been through our first IVF I have enourmous respect for ladies that can do it and manage to work at the same time. I am extremely lucky as DP and I run our own business so I could work as much or as little I felt like. I work in a very male dominated industry and could not even begin to imagine talking any of it through with my old employer, let alone trying to convince them to be flexible for appointments.

I found the drugs tiring and I also sufferred incredible headaches which I could shift only by sleeping them off. Our clinic is a 100mile round trip so getting up for 7.30am scans was also tiring. What I did struggle with was feeling so hopeless whilst DP worked so hard and held it all together (bless him!).

Now we are gearing up for treatment again in the spring, I am re-focussing on work but fully expect to have to wind down when we get there again.

Good luck

 

[Kimiw]

I tell ya, us LTTTCers sure have to endure a lot, that is how I KNOW we are going to be great mothers . I actually told my boss what was going on. I felt that it was important that they understood how crucial it was for me to make appoitments. Not only that, but my RE is 150 miles away from where we live so that is 300 miles round trip! Now, it depends on what kind of relationship you have with your boss. I have a good one, and he know me and my DH very well. Him and his wife are childless due to infertility as well, so of all people, he completely understands what we are going through.

I know that telling the boss is not practical for everybody because for one it is very priavate and embarassing, and some supervisors may treat you different. The boss I am talking about is the assistant director of my place of employment. The director is a complete jack ass, in fact, in August when DH and I were successful with our second round of clomid (after 6 years of ttc) he made it really difficult for me. He would give me a hard time about being pregnant and when I sadly miscarried that same month, he gave me crap about having to leave work (my miscarriage started while I was at work).

Anyway, that is my opinion. It is entirley up to you how you want to handle it. I don't like discussing my infertility with many peoplen because I can do without the comments and opinons of others. Us LTTTCers have the right to have children just like everybody else on this planet, and the only way we get our chance is going through all this doctor stuff.

 

[jellybeanxx]

My boss and some of my team know (we're all very close) which has been helpful especially with 2 girls being on maternity! However I'm on a secondment at the moment and no one there knows. I'm on clomid and it's been making me feel quite emotional, with that and the secondment being a high stress job, I'm wishing I was back with my own team!

 

[Prayerful]

I just started a new job 3 months ago. Previously I was a manager and could leave for appointments whenever I needed to. Now I have to give at least 48 hours notice before taking any time off. We all know that isn't always possible as our appointments are based on our cycles and how our bodies respond to treatment. It is definitely not easy trying to juggle these appointments and work. So far I have managed to avoid telling my manager but I know that won't last much longer. I am also struggling with finding the right time and the right words to let my manager know.

 

[Leaah]

Hi ladies I've been at my job for six years and luckily they are flexible with time as long as I give them some notice (that's the hard part). I prefer not to let anyone at work know what I'm doing because although I work with some wonderful people there are some who are not so nice. I would rather not deal with the added pressure of some of the not so nice comments. This is hard enough as it is.

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

I work self employed so obviously cant take anytime off or nothing would get done. Even with pregnant id have to work up until giving birth and go back very soon afterwards. So i cant stop for ttc xxx

 

[uwa_amanda]

My supervisor is childfree by choice, so she has no perception of how important these doctors' appointments and LTTTC related things are for us. She kind of shrugs it all off and acts like I'm an inconvenience everytime I've asked off. I did eight cycles of clomid and ended up in the manager's office being told my attitude was crap. Those of you ladies who took clomid and were affected by the side effects KNOW what I'm talking about. I just chalked it up to being in a rut to them (which is the truth) since no one gives a crap that I am trying to have a baby. I guess if the day comes that I have to go on maternity leave, I'll REALLY be an inconvenience.

 

[Prayerful]

Ugh, that is awful Amanda. TTC is hard enough as is without having to deal with an insensitive manager.