Working Mums Support Group

[Red Rose]

Welcome to the 'Working Mums Support Group'.

​

This group has been setup to help you through the daunting process of returning to work after having a baby. Talk to other mums about your different experiences by asking for support or offering advice.

I feel it would be helpful to create a list of 'support contacts' for the following areas. Please PM me if you would like to contribute (or can think of any other topics to include):

BLW
Breastfeeding
Cloth Nappies
Full Time Work
Part Time Work
PNDShift Work aliss
Studying
Teaching
Working from Home

I'm also aiming to put together a list of resources to help working mums.

Most importantly, feel free to moan/have a giggle whenever you feel the need. We're all in it together!

 

[Red Rose]

Firstly, thought I would introduce myself.

I'm Megan, mummy to my 8 month old baby girl. I returned back to work full time last week after 9 months maternity leave so we could finish off saving for a deposit for our first house.

LO goes to a nursery 5 days a week and is so far going through the settling in stage. Things are hard at the moment, but its early days x

 

[shellie82]

thanks or doing this megan, i know i only posted this morning about going back to work tomorrow but all the ladies have really helped me with their support

im Shell and my lo is 7 and a half months old! i go back to work full time tomorrow and he is starting with a childminder, i have so many mixed emotions about it

fear, guilt, anxiety, nervousness

i actually feel a little bit sick today at the thought of it but i also know im doing whats best for my baby.

i suppose it doesnt help that mum and mil keep saying they dont like the thought of him staying with a stranger everyday, it just makes me feel more guilty and annoyed at the fact that it feels like they think i would leave my baby with just anyone and not do checks etc... beforehand

ok sorry that turned into a mini rant there

 

[Red Rose]

thanks or doing this megan, i know i only posted this morning about going back to work tomorrow but all the ladies have really helped me with their support

im Shell and my lo is 7 and a half months old! i go back to work full time tomorrow and he is starting with a childminder, i have so many mixed emotions about it

fear, guilt, anxiety, nervousness

i actually feel a little bit sick today at the thought of it but i also know im doing whats best for my baby.

i suppose it doesnt help that mum and mil keep saying they dont like the thought of him staying with a stranger everyday, it just makes me feel more guilty and annoyed at the fact that it feels like they think i would leave my baby with just anyone and not do checks etc... beforehand

ok sorry that turned into a mini rant there

Don't appologise! That's what this group is here for so you can rant away.

I feel exactly the same. All my family have made comments about how horrible it is that I can't be with LO full time. I'm fed up of the glaring stares and the pitying looks from mummy friends when I say I'm going back full time. I've been lectured about how it's 'best to stay at home and watch LO develop as that's the most important thing' which left me in tears!

There you go. I've ranted away too!

 

[Pearls18]

Hi there, I'm Stacey I have a soon to be 9 month old Elliot, I started a new job 2 weeks ago working full time 37 hours a week. I was breastfeeding but mostly FF now, think I will stop BF this week. I am VERY lucky atm as my husband is on a career break I guess you could say lol so he is here to look after LO full time atm, however, as of September ish he is back in the military so I will be working full time with no-one here as he'll only be home 2 weekends a month dreading it- also not sure what to do about childcare coz we don't know when he's going back in it could be aug, sept, or even nov! So I need to get Elliot on the list for childcare as my mum works, but I can't afford to put him in too soon until we are both working so we can get some help with childcare for tax credits (but by December we should be sorted financially it's just been a tough year with OH having a break which is why I've had to go back to work sooner than I'd have liked).

I actually really like working, I don't think I could be a SAHM even if we could afford it, but I do wish I could work part time. I'm hoping when I've passed probabtion to maybe drop a day.

Oh I am currently an archives assistant, thinking about going back to uni next year to either do the masters in archiving or PGCE in secondary history teaching but that's a whole other story lol xxx

 

[aliss]

Hi girls! I'm a SAHM now (since LO was 8 months) but from 3-8 months I worked. I did the overnight shift (7pm-4am or 7pm-7am) so if anyone reading this wants some tips for dealing with the zombie shift, let me know. I can offer anything but sleep... lol.

 

[shellie82]

as much as it would be nice to be a sahm i think i would go insane full time and would like a nice part time paid job however we dont get much help benefit wise so it wasnt an option if we want lo to have his own room

i do really think it will be good for his development i just need to get past the guilt of feeling like a part time mummy and worrying that as he gets older he will prefer the childminder to me

 

[aliss]

Shellie, Dr Sears has a good discussion about "working mothers" in his Baby Book.

He says very simply:

"There are full-time mothers who work, and there SAHMs who are part-time mothers."

Meaning you can work full-time and be a full-time mother, and never work a day in your life yet be a "part-time" mother (meaning you aren't really involved, playing, caring much about your child at home).

Yes, of course it is harder for an employed mother to "be there" all the time for their baby just based on schedule, but what you do with the time off is what really makes your ability as a mother and your bond with your baby. I would recommend anyone read it!

I got a lot of shit from women for (voluntarily) returning to work at 3 months (while my OH stayed home) but it didn't mean I wasn't there for him!

 

[Mrs Mayhem]

Hi ladies!!!

I'm mum to Holly who is 7.5 months, I went back to work, full time when she was 5 months old, it was hell in the weeks running up to it but really not so bad once I got back there!!

I work 9-5 monday - friday and manage a large team of people, my job can easily run over in hours but I a being strict on getting home to Holly!!

My DH looks after her in the day and works nights, but 3 mornings a week she goes to nursery which she loves!!

Feel free to ask anything of me, or rant and rave at me!!

 

[Red Rose]

Shellie, Dr Sears has a good discussion about "working mothers" in his Baby Book.

He says very simply:

"There are full-time mothers who work, and there SAHMs who are part-time mothers."

I LOVE this quote. It really has made me feel a bit happier on a miserable Sunday afternoon.

aliss, would you be happy to be listed at the top of the thread for advice on shift work? x

 

[aliss]

Sure

 

[rihanna]

Im Rahna, LO is harry and i went back to work 3 mornings a week (16hrs) when he was 9months old. I am skint thought - nursery fees are killing me so i am increasing my hrs to 4 morninngs.
Even though more work means more nursery so more nursery bills but no choice!! I work 8am-2pm 3 days going up to 4 days.

Hello!

 

[Macmad]

Hey ladies!

I went back to work yesterday after 11 weeks off but reduced my hours to part time. I'm working 3 full days a week. I cried buckets last week and even more on Friday night (our working week is Saturday to Wednesday here). It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but still didn't like being away from LO. Second day today and stil hard, feel like I hardly see her. I come in, she feeds then sleeps, wakes for an hour before bath and bed. Which i know I shouldnt moan as she's becoming a great sleeper at night but I want to see more of her! Soooooo looking forward to Tuesday when we can spend the day together!

Thinking about quitting after the summer, my wages cover the fees for nanny and that's about it. Doesn't seem worth it somehow.

How's everyone else getting on?

 

[New Mrs W]

Great idea Red Rose, thank you.

I am Ruth, mummy to 9 month old baby boy Frankie. I am a primary school teacher and I go back to work in a fortnight. I will be working three weeks full time, then have the six weeks summer holidays before returning part time in September.

I feel a mixture of guilty and sick at the thought of leaving my precious bundle. He is going through such developmental changes right now and is so much fun that I can't stand the thought of not being with him 24 hours a day

However, on the plus side, I feel lucky that I am returning to a job that I love. I have done a few KIT days and once I've got over the feeling of having had my right arm chopped off I actually quite enjoyed being back in the thick of things and doing a job I feel confident in and am good at.

Trying to be positive and brave for now, but ask me how I'm feeling in two weeks time and it could be a very different story!!

 

[Pearls18]

He says very simply:

"There are full-time mothers who work, and there SAHMs who are part-time mothers."

Love this- I have personally always hated the term full time mum from even before I was a mum because my mum worked since I was 6 months right until the present day, and I will probably do the same- and working doesn't in anyway make you a 'part time' mum. I go to work everyday earning money to provide for him, and think about him constantly. I may not be with him in the day but I don't take my 'Mothering' hat off when I leave the flat every morning.xxx

 

[elephant29]

Hey ladies,

I'm Lucie and my little girl Aria will be 8 months old tomorrow. I returned to work full-time on 19.05.11.

I am working nightshift 21.30 - 09.30 so would be happy to help answer any questions about working nights.

I was BF but my work declined my flexi request therefore i feel I was forced into stopping at 6 mths.

xxx

 

[Red Rose]

Thanks everyone who has volunteered. I'll list your names at the top of the thread tomorrow. If you can think of any more topics, please let me know.

Its lovely to see lots of mums with different working hours.

For those that are working tomorrow, how are you doing with the Sunday blues? I'm not coping very well. Just want to burst out crying right now! New Mrs W, my LO is very much the same. On the verge of crawling and pulling herself up. My biggest worry is missing the moments she does either of these by not being there. It pulls a knot in my stomach even thinking about it

 

[polo_princess]

Just poking my head in to say this is a fab idea

Im a bit past it now, i've been back at work over 18 months now but let me tell you, it does get easier and once you're over the initial shock of leaving LO, going to work becomes a nice break

 

[bky]

Hi there
I've been back at work since LO was 4 months old.
I pumped at work until recently, use cloth nappies at nursery and BLW (home and nursery) so I can help with any of that.
I do only work 3 days a week, but they are full days!

 

[cat81]

I'm Cat and my LO is Thomas. I am the Head of History at a Secondary School and am going back on the 18th July. There will only be one week then before the summer hols so will be back properly in September. LO will be with his Daddy for the week in July and then with a childminder from September. I will be working 4 days a week.

Looking forward to getting to know you all and probably sharing a few worries, tears and rants in the coming months. I am sure it's not going to be easy but I am trying to think positively about it. I have also done some KIT days and really enjoyed them.

Oh and Stacey - if you want to ask anything about doing a PGCE in Secondary History, I would be happy to help.