Hi all - I am new here. I needed to find a forum where I could post an issue that has been on my mind since I was about 5 months pregnant. I am now full term and just waiting for my little girl to arrive at any time.
My situation is that my partner (and father of my unborn daughter) has a son from a previous relationship (aged 4) who we have every weekend and whom I love to bits. My partner is the most amazing and most doting father any child could hope for and would do absolutely ANYTHING for his son. My stepson is going to make the most amazing big brother ever and my daughter is so lucky to have him - I appreciate this more than most as I grew up as an only child and would have loved an older brother. She isn't even here yet and he is already totally protective over her! He is a brilliant little boy!
However, from about 5 months pregnant my partner started saying things like having our child is going to make him feel guilty about his son e.g. his son not being around when his daughter is going to be here full time, spending money and time with his daughter when his son is not around and how having her is basically going to make him feel worse about not having his son around 24/7 and only on the weekends.
Obviously I can understand my partner's situation but I don't want my daughter's Daddy to be feeling guilty about playing with her and paying her attention because his son is not around. I don't believe this to be fair on my daughter who should be able to have her father's "guilt free" attention.
Basically I have tried to cut this quite short but I would just like your opinions and advice on the above. For example do you think that this is just the jitters of a parent having a second child and coming to terms with the fact that one will be around all the time and the other won't and that the feelings of guilt will lessen eventually and pass? Has anybody else been in the same situation as me or the same situation as my partner? I would really love to hear your stories and would be very grateful for any advice you can give.
Thank you so much for reading and for those of you who are still awaiting the birth of your little ones - I wish you all the best in the labour suite and hope your babies are healthy and well!
My situation is that my partner (and father of my unborn daughter) has a son from a previous relationship (aged 4) who we have every weekend and whom I love to bits. My partner is the most amazing and most doting father any child could hope for and would do absolutely ANYTHING for his son. My stepson is going to make the most amazing big brother ever and my daughter is so lucky to have him - I appreciate this more than most as I grew up as an only child and would have loved an older brother. She isn't even here yet and he is already totally protective over her! He is a brilliant little boy!
However, from about 5 months pregnant my partner started saying things like having our child is going to make him feel guilty about his son e.g. his son not being around when his daughter is going to be here full time, spending money and time with his daughter when his son is not around and how having her is basically going to make him feel worse about not having his son around 24/7 and only on the weekends.
Obviously I can understand my partner's situation but I don't want my daughter's Daddy to be feeling guilty about playing with her and paying her attention because his son is not around. I don't believe this to be fair on my daughter who should be able to have her father's "guilt free" attention.
Basically I have tried to cut this quite short but I would just like your opinions and advice on the above. For example do you think that this is just the jitters of a parent having a second child and coming to terms with the fact that one will be around all the time and the other won't and that the feelings of guilt will lessen eventually and pass? Has anybody else been in the same situation as me or the same situation as my partner? I would really love to hear your stories and would be very grateful for any advice you can give.
Thank you so much for reading and for those of you who are still awaiting the birth of your little ones - I wish you all the best in the labour suite and hope your babies are healthy and well!
