Worried

[Josephs_Daddy]

Hi Guys.

Joseph is still having his feeding issues, with the Enfamil, Gaviscon, Ranitidine, Lactulose, blah blah blah. We've took matters into our own hands now and reduced the Gaviscon, and increased the water slightly in his formula and he's started feeding a lot better.

But I'm worried about my OH.

She's becoming more and more fragile. She gets upset at the slightest thing and regularly starts crying and getting very worked up. She's not really eating properly, and I don't know what to do.

I work long hours so I don't spend a lot of time at home so I also feel to blame.

Please help me.

 

[Mumof42009]

You've both been through so much and its bound to affect both of you maybe your oh needs counseling to help her deal with what shes been through. Its hard as-well dealing with reflux and if your little man isn't sleeping good it all builds up, is there anybody who could give your oh a break for a few hours to have me time?
My Son has reflux we tried Gaviscon and other things didn't help then remembered when my daughter was younger GP'S used to prescribe Cow and Gate Carobel its worked so well for us and he is a different baby now.
Hope things get better for you soon

 

[Marleysgirl]

The only suggestion I have isn't that nice - it's to go behind your wife's back and have a chat to the HV about the situation. HV's are there for the Mums as well as the babies.

 

[AP]

i would agree with above i would have appreciated my OH helping, i was and still am rather afraid to gain help myself.

also makes sure your OH goes out as much as she can with joeseph it helps me.

 

[Laura2919]

I have to agree with Marleysgirl and Sb22!
I think that in the end your wife will see you did the right thing. It sounds as if she is a bit depressed, maybe because of everything poor little Joseph had to go through. Its hard for anyone to deal with.
I would definitely have a word with your HV about it or a doctor and see what they suggest

 

[Dona]

Awww Hun I feel your pain. I would do what the others have suggested too as it sounds like your OH needs a little help. You both sound like you need a wee break too xx

 

[bumpsmum]

Speaking from personal experience of pretty severe Post Natal Depression it sounds like your OH could use someone to talk too and both of you a break even for an evening to just chill out and focus on you as a couple

I agree with the other girls that seeking advice from GP or HV would really help her. You could speak privately to your HV who should be subtle and discreet at asking the right kinds of questions focussing on mummy as well as Joseph.

Would your OH benefit from the forum here at all? We would love to meet her as I think all would agree talking to other preemie parents and those dealing with depression or PTSD would really help, you could ask admit to remove this thread if you were concerned she would not be happy about mentioning it here.

For me what helped was having someone to talk to, I felt I was falling apart and really worried I had a very serious mental illness at one point but to hear other people's experiences I soon realised how common my thoughts were and made it easier to accept things, even a good rant to the HV or a friend would help.

Have you mentioned your observations at all? Feel free to PM me anything at all. xx

 

[grumpymoo]

Am so sorry to hear she is having a tough time, I can understand completely!

I think some extra support is a wonderful idea. If you dont like your hv you could always try your Drs.

 

[Laura2919]

Speaking from personal experience of pretty severe Post Natal Depression it sounds like your OH could use someone to talk too and both of you a break even for an evening to just chill out and focus on you as a couple

I agree with the other girls that seeking advice from GP or HV would really help her. You could speak privately to your HV who should be subtle and discreet at asking the right kinds of questions focussing on mummy as well as Joseph.

Would your OH benefit from the forum here at all? We would love to meet her as I think all would agree talking to other preemie parents and those dealing with depression or PTSD would really help, you could ask admit to remove this thread if you were concerned she would not be happy about mentioning it here.

I think thats a great Idea. I never actually had anyone to talk to when I had the twins and sometimes I felt I didnt fit in amongst my friends whose babies were born to term and healthy. No one understood my experience so it was nice to come her and be able to talk about things openly..
x

 

[premmiemum123]

I think you should seek help, you sound like a very supportive OH as it is so maybe she just needs someone to talk things through with like a counseller. I am considering counselling myself as 8 months on I still can't move on with my life, I still dwell on things. What you have both been through was very tough and very emotional it is bound to take its toll eventually. Talking is good...x