Would you have your 4.5 yr old daughter at the birth?

[Narie]

Our daughter has shown an interest at being present at the birth and seeing the baby come out. She enjoys watching the show one born every minute and watching real life medical programs where there are operations taking place.

I've had 2 natural births in the hospital and both times I have stayed relaxed and calm and I'm not one of those who screams during labor.

Would you let your child that age attend your birth?

Also what would a NHS midwife make of this would there be an issue?

 

[Mervs Mum]

Absolutely. It's your home so you have have who ever you like there! You may find you labour at night when she's in bed anyway as you will be at yur most relaxed. Pretty much all of the families I have work with have and their little ones haven't known anything was happening. Even that said, I'd happily have mine around for the birth but just make sure I had someone who would be happy to come and take them if they wanted to go or them being around hindered my labour.

 

[ljo1984]

Yep no questions asked I'd have her there. Imogen was present right up until I was transferred and she was born half hour later so she was pretty much present throughout apart from the main event and like you I don't scream and I keep focused even more so so with having Imogen there. She was almost two. If all goes to plan she'll be around 4.5years next time and I'll have her and Freya present too (and my mum will come and entertain them like this time) and will be nice as at that age it's something they'll remember. Awwww I'm so broody Thinking about it now lol. Xx

 

[Narie]

It's nice to hear that other Mum's would / have had there other children present as well. I've always thought I wouldn't feel comfortable with the kids being with me but the last couples of weeks I've started changing my mind.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I regret my daughters not being around for my sons birth. My eldest was old enough to decide for herself and just as most typical 14 yr olds she was grossed out at the very idea! My then 16 month old went with her sister to my mums and she really could have stayed home as it was 12.45am before her arrived and well after her bedtime when I was in established labour. I often wonder if her being around would have been a nice distraction in the earlys stages.

 

[Tacey]

As the others have said, I don't think there's an issue at all. I'm planning to have Alice around for the birth (she'll be 2 and 9 months) and we've been preparing by looking at (nice!) home birth videos. I'd consider making a back up plan in case she seemed upset, or if you felt uncomfortable. For example, I was quite vocal last time, and I wouldn't want to feel I had to hold back because she was there. The good thing about HB is that there are other rooms people can go if they need a break!

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I've been showing / telling Ruby what noises I might make / positions I might be in in labour in case it happens when she is awake. The plan is, my mum will come and get her but if she wants to stay with me and I'm not hindered by her presence, then I'm happy to go with her being there. MWs views are irrelevant!

 

[ljo1984]

Oh re: mw she just asked who would be seeing to her and who was having her in event of a transfer. Xx

 

[Ju_bubbs]

All my kids will be around for labour, Im not sure the boys will be overly comfortable with being around me whilst I'm naked/half naked, so they'll probably steer clear of the living room, but they'll all be welcome to come and go if they want!

My 8 year old son has been particularly interested in labour this time round, asking all sorts of questions, and watching labour vids on you tube with me! He asked me how I know when the baby is coming, so I told him my tummy will hurt.. now he constantly asks me if my tummy hurts yet, so he can run off and gather my stash of cheapy labour towels

As for midwife, kf she didn't like it, it would be HER leaving, not the children!

 

[NaturalMomma]

Yes. My ds1, who was almost 3 years old at the time, was suppose to see ds2 be born. But it was early in the morning and he was asleep. But both boys are more than welcome to watch next time, they'll be about 5 and 3 years old.

 

[beetroot]

My 7yr old boy is staying for my HB, with family there for backup. My last HB was a very calm experience so he wouldn't find it traumatic! I think ha would find it fascinating! xxx

 

[becstar]

I am going to play it by ear with my daughter (who is almost two and a half). It depends on the time of day, how things are going, etc. She loves to watch babies being born, she has seen women on vidoes do it silently, noisily, in water, on sofas, in hospital beds... She knows that the baby will come 'outta Mummy lady bits' (her words!) and we have watched lots and talked lots about birth so that she will be prepared for what might happen.

We have my friend down the road and also my MIL 5 minutes away on standby to collect her if needed, and my mum and sister are coming for the birth so there will be a lot of support around.

 

[bubbles]

We planned for DS to be present at our DDs birth, MW asked about who would be there to watch him Us of course, but if things became too much for him MIL was 2min away and DH was happy to play/supervise him during 2nd stage

 

[madasa]

Yes, I would let a child be there. I would have a person on stand by to distract or comfort them or take them elsewhere if that was needed (if they distracted me or got upset or if a problem developed or something like that).

 

[NuKe]

I would 100% have Poppy there, but she gets really upset if I even stub my toe!

 

[Sam Pearson]

I wouldn't dream of birthing without my older children present. They are free to go visit their Aunt if they don't want to be there when their siblings are born but they always want to be their. To me it's a family affair. My son wrote a little story about his sister being born in the loungeroom when he was 9yo and he even took on the role of scooping the pool and cutting his sister's cord. His younger sister loved filling up the birth pool when her younger sibling was born when she was almost 4yo and she baked a cake with her Dad and took some photos of the placenta.

I think it's been great for them to see calm natural births to counteract the silly screaming hectic births you nearly always see in movies. When their time comes to be parents I feel being at their siblings births will have a positive impact.

What we do, however, is have my sister come by when I am in labour so that if at any time the kids are bothering me or they want to go for a walk they can go off with their Aunt. They've been really great though and it's very sweet to have little hands caring for you in labour - rubbing your shoulders and wiping you with a cloth and passing a water bottle to you for a drink. I also like watching the birth video and seeing the birth pics with all the people I love best seeing our new family member being born.

 

[Narie]

It's good to know that nobody thinks it's a crazy idea of thinking of having her in the room. We have a older son who is 9 and doesn't seem interested in being in the room (which is fair enough).

We will most probably have my Mum and oh Mum with us as well so she can come and go as she pleases and if it happens in the middle of the night then we will probably just wake the kids as soon as the little one is here.

 

[loobylou29]

I wouldnt have my kids in the room while I give birth, my 10 year old watches one born every minute etc and isnt fazed at all but I think thats because its not her mum in pain. If she ever sees me cry or hurt myself she always gets upset so the last thing I need whilst in pain is to worry that im going to upset her, she will be there for the first part but they will be going upstairs with there grandma when the time comes so i can concentrate on the job ahead xxxx

 

[Heather M]

I was at my sister's third birth in December with soul purpose of being there with her two other kids. She has a 4.5 year old and a 2.5 year old and I also had my dd with me (18 months). All three kids, myself and my BIL's sister were in the room when her newest baby was born! Her kids were prepped before hand and my sister just wanted to go with the flow of how she felt in labour, etc. It was important to have someone with both her kids though as they did want to be there but definitely wanted attention and to go back to playing after the baby was born lol. The 4.5 year old was very excited to cut the cord and the MW even let him play with the placenta which he actually REALLY liked (weird? hehe) My dd couldn't get enough of it and just wanted to be in with the MWs and touch the baby and cuddle with her auntie! We'll see how she is when I'm in labour but the plan is to keep her at home with us and my sister will be there with her (and her new LO) to do whatever my dd wants to do at the time.

 

[matgunnufson]

Ok I know I'm way out of my league here.
My wife did a home birth and it was awesome. She was awesome. But I will say that there were some cuss words spouted that you may not want your daughter to hear if you are a birthing sailor like my wife was.
All joking aside I feel it was a magical experience seeing my son born and a 4.5 year old would probably feel the same. It could be one of her first long term memories.