Xx

[MoonLove]

Xx

 

[KayBea]

i would ask his parents to tell him to stop climbing on the fence as its starting to break- show them where its broken, even if it didnt break by him sitting/climbing on it.. (a valid reason for him to stop without you sounding horrible).

i would ignore him if your in your garden & just throw the ball back when you can be bothered, dont do it as soon as it comes over..
i sometimes keep my next doors balls for a few days before lobbing them back.

if all else fails you can get strips of plastic spikes that you screw in the top of your fence that are meant to stop cats climbing up the fence
xx

 

[Larkspur]

I feel sorry for the kid, he is obviously quite lonely if he is constantly hanging around looking for someone to talk to.

It's really not his fault, so if you want something to change, you need to talk to the parents. I agree that starting with the fence damage would be a good ice-breaker, so to speak.

Then if it goes on, you can go back and say it's still happening. At that point you might mention that he seems keen to come over and play. So since you'd like to be able to enjoy the privacy of your own garden with your children and family, maybe a regular playdate so he gets to have some company would solve the problem for everyone. That way, the parents can tell him "The neighbours can't play with you today, but you can go see them on Thursday afternoon for playtime."

 

[alibaba24]

i really wouldnt like this either . every now and then is fine but he taking the enjoyment from your garden. I would just approach the parents and tell them your fence is getting damanged and if they don't mind can they ask their son not to climb it

 

[BethK]

I would put some trellis up on the top of the fence to try and get him to stop and i'd probably just try to ignore him on the drive and hope he gets bored and goes somewhere else.

 

[MoonLove]

Xx

 

[alibaba24]

exactly why should you busy yourself when its your place to relax. I might just be anti social but I like my privacy and If I had a 6 foot fence there is no way I would be wanting kids climbing over it, Its hard enough entertaining your own kids without adding others into the mix. If he was more your daughters age it wouldnt bother me so much but he is a considerable bit older than her. I actually feel bad on him as he wants the interaction but that is not your place. he still has to learn boundaries. I def think approaching the parents is the way to go. I know no one wants to do that but I just thought there with your husband asking him to get off the child will more than likely tell his parents and the parents may take it the wrong way . you dont want any atmosphere with the parents so if you go direct to them and say the fence cant take the weight of him and if its ok can they watch him . OR you could suggest he come to the front door for it where you can give him it without giving him the opportunitie to hang around. although....why should you have that faff? getting his ball ten times a day....

def approach the parents

 

[RachA]

I guess I'm in the minority here as I would actually invite him over and let him play with your daughter. He's obviously very lonely and as you have a child he wants to play.
As you feel that it's intrusive though then the only thing you can do is to speak to the parents and tell them that you aren't comfortable with him being there quite so often.

We have very low fences in our back garden and my two (7 & 5) and next doors two (5 & 3) are forever jumping back and forth over the fence. I quite often have to chat to the youngest if I'm out in the garden but if I'm trying to relax then I just tell him. I actually find it a lot easier having the 4 of them in my garden then I do just my 2.

 

[Boomerslady]

I too feel sorry for him, he's just a kid who wants to play, and who knows how much interaction he gets at home.

I think talking to the parents is the first step. However find out if the fence is yours or thiers! As if it's thiers then you won't have much to say lol. Unless perhaps you say the baby was on the grass and the ball nearly hit her? It's a tricky situation. You could just invite him over and make a boys childhood that bit more happy.

 

[aimee-lou]

We have a similar situation. Our next door neighbour's little girl is 6 and she and Earl love one another but she has no boundaries, no manners and she picks on my younger 2. She will lean over the fence and shout at top volume for Earl at any time of day. I have to tell him not to go when he's eating etc and she will just keep on shouting. Her mum never stops her.

Last year and the year before she has been out until 9pm or later leaning over our fence talking to us. I've heard her mum say to her 'go and ask next door' if she wants someone to talk to or play with.

Now I know it's because she's bored, an only child and doesn't get much interaction from her mum. My issue is, I like my privacy, I find the shouting rude and intrusive and I always come off as the bad guy asking her to stop shouting (very nicely I hasten to add) as the youngest is napping, or Earl is in the bath, or we're having tea. She also comes to the front of the house and looks in through the window which looks into our living room (it's a terrace and a small one at that). There's also the issue that all she ever does is beg for food, pick on my younger 2 (tells them to go away, runs away from them screaming, pushes them) and breaks every toy she ever touches. She once broke our brand new sand/water table within 10 minutes of her coming around to play. Anything my boys get she has to be part of, and she just has no manners, from walking into the kitchen and asking where we keep the chocolate to running up and down and jumping on the sofa in her shoes. It's ridiculous. I haven't had her round to the house in nearly a year because of these issues.

We have had to replace the fence panel which she leans over as the kids were playing over it and it became unsafe. Strictly it's their fence but as we're both rented it was quicker and easier for us to just do it. We used the excuse of the dog escaping and replaced it but it's only a 4ft fence so it's not stopped anything....it does however give us a ready excuse to tell them (them being her and our eldest) not to lean on/touch/hit balls against the fence panel as it's new and we don't want it to break etc.

Sorry I haven't got a useful reply. you are not alone. We are moving soon (hopefully next 3 months) and I seriously can't wait. The new house will have 6ft fences all around if I've got anything to do with it!! lol

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

Have you tried turning the hose on him ?

seriously though, i would just tell him to go away. I'm quite blunt though, I always tell the girls next door to get lost, and last year they kept looking through the little holes in the fence, one day they were doing it when i was watering my plants so i squirted it at them mwhaha. They left me alone though

 

[alicecooper]

Oh dear I see it from both sides. If I were in your position I'd be getting annoyed too, and I'd want the boy to go away. I'm really anti-social these days and a lot of the neighbours' kids irritate me.

But on the other hand, when I was a child, I was the irritating only-child who went around the neighbours' houses and bugged the crap out of them by constantly trying to sell them home made buns, asking if they wanted me to walk their dog, and asking to borrow their DVDs.

One couple in their 30s, Penny and Rob, bless them, they had no kids and they let me and my friend in to do "odd jobs" in their kitchen one time for a bit of pocket money, and after that we never left the poor people alone. I absolutely cringe when I think back on it. We went round literally EVERY day after that for about 2 years. We invited ourselves to their barbecues and everything, and borrowed all their Disney DVDs, and they were so lovely about it and never once told us to go away, but if I were them I would have been SO irritated.
We were only 9 and genuinely didn't realise how frigging ANNOYING we must have been!

I so wish I could apologise to them for being such an epic pest!

 

[Rósa]

I have horses so I would be putting a strand of electric fence on top of the fence!

 

[Wriggley]

Have you tried turning the hose on him ?

seriously though, i would just tell him to go away. I'm quite blunt though, I always tell the girls next door to get lost, and last year they kept looking through the little holes in the fence, one day they were doing it when i was watering my plants so i squirted it at them mwhaha. They left me alone though

I kinda feel sorry for him because hes obviously very lonely but at the same time its not your job to entertain him! so i wouldnt feel guilty for not wanting him there constantly.

That would drive me mad! I agree speak with his parents about the fence its a good Ice breaker. If not id be a little more firm with him. 'Im sorry but we are having a family picnic, why dont you go find something to play with' 'Im going to have a little snooze out here now it was lovely talking to you'... give him an obvious exit and if that fails just tell him to go away... I definetly would not like that id feel invaded

 

[AngelofTroy]

Oh dear, I fear we have this child! Micah shouts for next doors kids over the fence all the time and climbs over. The mum has said he's welcome anytime and that he can play on the trampoline, but he regularly wanders into their house and I have to climb over myself and fetch him back! To be fair their kids (3+5) come over to us too but they're easier to reason with because they're older than Micah.

 

[Srrme]

We have the SAME problem with our neighbors boy. 😐 It's so bad we no longer go outside in the back if we know he's home from school because he'll pop up on the fence.. He has siblings though so isn't terribly lonely.

 

[RachA]

Oh dear, I fear we have this child! Micah shouts for next doors kids over the fence all the time and climbs over. The mum has said he's welcome anytime and that he can play on the trampoline, but he regularly wanders into their house and I have to climb over myself and fetch him back! To be fair their kids (3+5) come over to us too but they're easier to reason with because they're older than Micah.

This is us lol. I was in the house yesterday and looked outside to see next doors 3 year old playing on his own in the garden. With about 15min his sister was over too and my two and next doors two kept each other amused for about 2 hours. It honestly doesn't bother me. We have a good enough relationship with then to be able to say 'sorry not today' etc.

 

[MoonLove]

Xx

 

[JessyG]

I can see how it may be irritating so I would speak to his parents. I don't feel it is right to tell an 8 year old to get lost. He, as you say, is very polite and well mannered and must simply enjoy your company.

Personally id invite him over but I always invite the neighbours kids over. I say when its time to go in and never had any issues (except with my own )

Nothing better in my opinion than kids playing in the garden in summer.

 

[tommyg]

I would invite him round to play with your daughter but remind him she is only little (so do be rough). He does sound lonely and desperate for friends.

My DS loves our neighbours girls, they are 3&5 years older than him but they love playing "big sister" and he just adores their company.