younger sister might be pregnant. WTF. Long rant, could use feedback/:

[thecurlymama]

So, I have a half sister who I've always been super close with since we were really young since our moms reunited us after they both left our a-hole of a biological father. We both lived in Arizona with our moms for a while but when I was 8 I moved to Utah and now at 16 I live in Washington state, and she's still in Arizona. So, we only get to see each other about once a year. However, we talk all the time and tell each other everything. She was actually the first person I officially told- I texted her from Planned Parenthood right when I found out. We're 11 months apart, so she's 15. She turns 16 in November and then I turn 17 in December.

Anyway, the other day she texts me and says she got really drunk at some guy's house and ended up having sex with a 24 year old, and that they didn't use a condom because they couldn't find one and he said that he was "shooting blanks". Now, please note that since I started having sex -which was only last year- I have always been one to practice safe sex. Even though that seems ironic now that i'm pregnant- I was on BC when our baby boy was conceived, and have always encouraged my lil sis to use condoms and/or BC. She stopped using BC and then didn't use a condom so naturally I got really worried. I told her to go get plan b (I know that some people are against the morning after pill, but I'm a supporter). She said that Planned Parenthood in her town in AZ wouldn't despense to people under seventeen without a parent present.

It's been about 8 days since then and she hasn't gotten her period. She says that it's supposed to come in a few days. Our cycles have always been in sync. I started mine on Thanks Giving and a year later she started hers on Thanks Giving and even living far apart we have always had the same cycle. She told me that hers is late since she started BC and threw it off a few months ago, and since she stopped it's been coming around the 8th. It's the 4th today and I'm starting to get worried.

I really don't want her to end up being pregnant. Even though I have made the best of my situation, I don't want her to think that it's just a cake walk over here. I've talked to her about all the good exciting parts and how amazing my boyfriend is, but I haven't really told her about all my regrets and wishes. I haven't told her how scared I am or how I'm sad that I'm missing out on some of my years I would have gotten to grow up a little more or have "teenage fun". Even though all of those regrets have faded and now I'm just happy about my baby boy, I wish that I could make her realize that it isn't some easy thing. I got really lucky because my parents were super supportive, and my boyfriend is really amazing plus his family is great. The guy who would be the father of her baby would have nothing to do with her- it was illegal plus they've only met twice! Her mom would definitely not approve (she's already been calling me a worthless whore and saying how disgusting I am for being pregnant) and would probably kick my sister out.

We texted about it tonight but I'm still really worried that she might end up being pregnant and have a really hard time. Plus I don't want it to seem like I just made it look like it was an easy thing to get pregnant at a young age. Even though i really have nothing against it, and I'm really happy about my decision to keep my LO, I feel like she would have it even more rough than I do(I have it pretty easy in the large scheme of things) She's going to wait another week and if it doesn't come she's going to go get a test at PP... AH I'm so worried!!

 

[teenmommy15]

wow shes a month younger than me i turn 16 in october. Thats a nerve racking situation, but the best thing to do is wait it out calmly i know its gonna be excruciatingly hard but its best for you,her and your LO, their is a possibility hes not pregnant and if she does end up pregnant she has got a huge support system from you because your going through the same thing and realize that it might be tougher for her to deal with so just thing about how this all isnt even a possibility and if it is and she gets kicked she is going to need your support and your help more than ever. hang in there it will be okay pm if you need to talk

 

[JJKCB]

its a wait but until AF is due then there's no proof shes pregnant... i may all still work out fine so just try and breath and wait for news

 

[jozylynn896]

Aw aleverything will be fine. If she does turn out pregnant she has an amazing older sister to guide her which is something that a lot of us didn't have.
And if she's not then you can yell at her! Lol.
But sometimes this kinda shit happens.
She just has to know that you're there for her

 

[thecurlymama]

I'm trying to wait it out and be calm. We live so far away, though and I don't even know how I could help her if her mom did kick her out. It would be a total disaster.

Ah, oh well. in the mean time I'm going to try to relax.

 

[jozylynn896]

Good don't get yourself stressed. everything will workout.

 

[thecurlymama]

Good don't get yourself stressed. everything will workout.

Honestly on the selfish side of the spectrum I feel like if she were people would act like it was my influence that led her to her irresponsible sex decisions! When I lost my virginity, it was this huge drama outburst and my mom found out it was in her house, wasn't happy at first , blah blah blah, boyfriend's mom freaked out, blah blah blah and literally like a month later the same exact situation blew up with my little sister. Her mom freaked out and insisted that she was turning into a "slut" and a "whore" who "can't keep her legs closed" and because I lost my virginity, she thought it was OK to go around having sex! Which is obviously a little silly because as teenagers it's just the natural tendency and it happens for a lot of people. Honestly i regret the way I lost mine and now she does too, but I don't regret this baby... I feel like I've almost made it out to look like an easy thing and that if I don't show her how hard it actually is now that she'll think it's some sort of escape from her drama-filled high school life now. Which is definitely NOT the case. haha....

I just don't know what to say to her when she says "what if I am pregnant!?" cause on one hand I know that I should be supportive and say "I'll be here for you it will be okay...yada yada yada" but I also feel like saying "it will really suck and be really hard and you shouldn't be looking forward to that - especially in your situation!!"

 

[jozylynn896]

If my little sister fell pregnant I would fucking yell at her. To be brutally honest I would tell her she has no fucking idea what she's gotten herself into.and it is hard even with my OH working 2 jobs its hard.
I would be angry and hurt.
I basically raised my baby sister so I would go ape shit.

And I know exactly how you feel. But (no offense) f*ck her mom she sounds very ignorant and obnoxious.

And totally not related but (and I taught this to my little sister) I completely regret how I lost my virginity. I. Wish I gave it to my OH and I regret acting like such a whore before I met my love. I wish o saved myself for love.

 

[thecurlymama]

If my little sister fell pregnant I would fucking yell at her. To be brutally honest I would tell her she has no fucking idea what she's gotten herself into.and it is hard even with my OH working 2 jobs its hard.
I would be angry and hurt.
I basically raised my baby sister so I would go ape shit.

And I know exactly how you feel. But (no offense) f*ck her mom she sounds very ignorant and obnoxious.

And totally not related but (and I taught this to my little sister) I completely regret how I lost my virginity. I. Wish I gave it to my OH and I regret acting like such a whore before I met my love. I wish o saved myself for love.

Exactly!! I mean my sister isn't that much younger than me, but I still feel like she's looked up to me, and yeah her mom is both of those things and not to mention just a total c*nt in general. Another reason why I'm so protective over my little sis, cause she's really had nobody but my mom and I growing up. I just wish she'd take my advice sometimes- or more often anyway haha.

And on the virginity thing, I feel exactly the same way. My OH has only been with one person other than me and I feel pretty shitty and wish I wouldn't have been with any people other than him because I feel like I've finally met somebody that's right for me. If I'd known I'd meet him I would have never been with any of my ex's!

 

[jozylynn896]

Dude I fucked around soooo much.. my OH has only been with me.. and kissed one other girl. It makes me feel terrible.

But I understand how you feel. Cause I would feel very betrayed in a sense like my advice didn't matter at all.
I wish I had an older sister like me or you to teach me the shit we try teaching our little sisters.
Like don't have sex with someone who doesn't fucking matter.
Or use birth control.
Not that I regret my LO I just wish I was married to my OH and had a nice house with my love.
I also will never regret getting pregnant with my Diego cause I love him so much.

 

[thecurlymama]

Haha, I really feel like I did too... I hate even thinking about it now, though!

For sure, but I think in the long run she'll appreciate it. I really wish my older sister would have given me that sort of blunt to-the-point advice when i was younger because I just went right out and got busy and it really wasn't the right choice. I have so many regrets about it. I was on BC when I got pregnant, but I definitely wish that it would have been even one or two years later just so I would be out of High School at least and be less tied down to that responsibility.

 

[xforuiholdonx]

Tbh, i wouldnt worry about it at the moment. Wait until she is late.. and even then i know she is your little sister but.its not your responsibility to worry about it. Be there and be supportive but if shes grown enough to be DRINKING and PARTYING at fifteen, then she needs to.be grow enough to.accept the responisbilty of what comes with that. She however was taken advantage of, andbthat man should.be chucked jail. Drunk or not, screwing a drunk 15 yr old is wayyy wrong, especially whe you know shes drunk and cant give a.logical answer!!! (Sorry to be blunt. )

 

[jozylynn896]

I definatley agree too.
I thought I was tough shit drinking and partying and having sex then I got pregnant and even though I was scared I accepted my responsibility and couldn't be happier.

 

[thecurlymama]

I totally agree, except the fact that even though she may think she is... she's definitely not mature enough. I love the girl, but she's never made very responsible decisions, and her mom definitely hasn't given her any kind of good guidance to know what to do- unless it was from me, and I'm not much older than her so naturally, she might not be so inclined to take my advice.

I'm afraid that if she got pregnant she wouldn't know the first thing to do with a baby! I know that every new mom has to learn, but even seeing her with little kids she has no clue what's going on! AH, maybe I'm just overreacting but the whole situation just pisses me off.

And yeah, screw that guy who took advantage of her, but she also knows better than to drink with people she doesn't know well and to just give it up without any protection. UGh.

 

[greenwood17]

the curlymama.
how many weeks pregnant are you and when your baby due date?
does your sister or half sister know how many weeks pregnant she is or not?

 

[justhoping]

I'm trying to wait it out and be calm. We live so far away, though and I don't even know how I could help her if her mom did kick her out. It would be a total disaster.

Ah, oh well. in the mean time I'm going to try to relax.

she needs to see a doctor and get a std check...

if she slept with a guy who is 24 and didnt care to use a condom and says he shoots blanks...well he is a hoe...sorry but he is and you dont know what the heck he been sleeping with...

i know you dont want to worry...but there is other things to worry about like std and aids.....i pray this skips her totally but she needs to see a doctor anyway...

ill be thinking about herxx
also he needs to be reported...if you could......i dont know..but i would.........
he is taking advantage of kids....that is horrible!

 

[thecurlymama]

I'm trying to wait it out and be calm. We live so far away, though and I don't even know how I could help her if her mom did kick her out. It would be a total disaster.

Ah, oh well. in the mean time I'm going to try to relax.

she needs to see a doctor and get a std check...

if she slept with a guy who is 24 and didnt care to use a condom and says he shoots blanks...well he is a hoe...sorry but he is and you dont know what the heck he been sleeping with...

i know you dont want to worry...but there is other things to worry about like std and aids.....i pray this skips her totally but she needs to see a doctor anyway...

ill be thinking about herxx
also he needs to be reported...if you could......i dont know..but i would.........
he is taking advantage of kids....that is horrible!

Oh yes! You're totally right and that was actually the first thing that I said to her when she told me. I told her she needs to go to PP and get her annual check up (her and her mom don't have health insurance).

The thing is, I don't even know the guy! Or who he is or where he is or his name even! I live in Washington and she lives in Arizona. That's partially why I'm freaking out. I can't even be with her to comfort her if/when she's upset.
She's been texting me things like "Aw your belly is so cute... I wonder what mine would look like" and "Hmm what if I am pregnant? What would my baby look like?" I mean, I know those are natural things to wonder but it's so irritating because she seems oblivious to the fact that it's really challenging to be pregnant at this age! I'm happy and have made the best of my situation, but that doesn't mean that it was a big' ol easy happy congradulations celebration at first. It's been a rough road and I feel like she sees the possibility of her being pregnant as some sort of escape from what her life is like right now.

Her mom is constantly getting eviction notices, she doesn't pay rent- juts spends her money on weed or whatever else she can get her hands on. My sister barely has food in her house, so she's constantly staying at friend's houses. I wish I could have her come live with me up here but we already have such a full house (7 people) plus with my baby on the way... Not to mention that her mom wouldn't let her move here if her life depended on it.

It's just such a nerve wracking situation. I know it may not be "my place" to worry, but she's my lil sister and we've always been really really close. I can't help but to worry about her. Even when nothing's wrong I worry about her.

 

[justhoping]

I'm trying to wait it out and be calm. We live so far away, though and I don't even know how I could help her if her mom did kick her out. It would be a total disaster.

Ah, oh well. in the mean time I'm going to try to relax.

she needs to see a doctor and get a std check...

if she slept with a guy who is 24 and didnt care to use a condom and says he shoots blanks...well he is a hoe...sorry but he is and you dont know what the heck he been sleeping with...

i know you dont want to worry...but there is other things to worry about like std and aids.....i pray this skips her totally but she needs to see a doctor anyway...

ill be thinking about herxx
also he needs to be reported...if you could......i dont know..but i would.........
he is taking advantage of kids....that is horrible!

Oh yes! You're totally right and that was actually the first thing that I said to her when she told me. I told her she needs to go to PP and get her annual check up (her and her mom don't have health insurance).

The thing is, I don't even know the guy! Or who he is or where he is or his name even! I live in Washington and she lives in Arizona. That's partially why I'm freaking out. I can't even be with her to comfort her if/when she's upset.
She's been texting me things like "Aw your belly is so cute... I wonder what mine would look like" and "Hmm what if I am pregnant? What would my baby look like?" I mean, I know those are natural things to wonder but it's so irritating because she seems oblivious to the fact that it's really challenging to be pregnant at this age! I'm happy and have made the best of my situation, but that doesn't mean that it was a big' ol easy happy congradulations celebration at first. It's been a rough road and I feel like she sees the possibility of her being pregnant as some sort of escape from what her life is like right now.

Her mom is constantly getting eviction notices, she doesn't pay rent- juts spends her money on weed or whatever else she can get her hands on. My sister barely has food in her house, so she's constantly staying at friend's houses. I wish I could have her come live with me up here but we already have such a full house (7 people) plus with my baby on the way... Not to mention that her mom wouldn't let her move here if her life depended on it.

It's just such a nerve wracking situation. I know it may not be "my place" to worry, but she's my lil sister and we've always been really really close. I can't help but to worry about her. Even when nothing's wrong I worry about her.

of course you should worry...she is your sister!!....dont feel bad about that ever and she is lucky to have you...

the situation she is in sounds terrible...

maybe you need to tell her the truth....the bad side of it all and you also need to show her, her bad...the eviction notices her mom not being able to rely on her and such...that she would probably end up with the state or her baby might because of her situation...that its fun to wonder what your baby would look like the true reality is....and fill it in for her.....

holding it back though might seem better but its not.....you will benefit her by telling her everything....even if she doesnt seem like she is listening believe me she will....something will sink in and hold and hopefully it will be all of it and one thing she is very lucky to have, is you