Your FOB's family??

[OnyxSnowfall]

What did you ladies do or are you going to do in regards to FOB's family (regardless of whether FOB is going to be or is in the picture already)? What about for those that seemed uninterested - did you extend some sort of "ball in their court" or just ignore them?

 

[Mummy1995]

I text all of them who I had contact info for and told them when she was born and that they were welcome over. I continued to do so til she was about 11months old and then sent one last message saying I was changing my number and cutting contact. X

 

[Natsku]

I hate all his family and don't talk to him since they screwed me over. I leave it up to FOB to arrange for her to see them.

 

[Iwillbepreggo]

I do everything in my power to avoid them

 

[Mummy1995]

I hate his family too but wanted to give Isabella a chance in the hope that they'd be good grandparents Etc to her as I knew fob wasn't gonna make any effort that way

 

[KayBea]

they only see her when I arange things so i have now stopped arranging things. they know where i am if they want to see her but i was fed up of putting all the effort in iykwim?

they saw her xmas eve for an hour because i aranged it so now ive given up & they will probably not see her for... well probably never. x

 

[teal]

I tried to include them despite no contact with fob but it didn't work.

 

[babycrazy1706]

My ex's parents are very supportive of me (even though they live in the Caribbean) so haven't done anything physically, they have said that I can go and stay with them anytime to visit. They are more on 'my side' (without sounding childish) over ex leaving me and LO, and are ashamed at their sons/brothers behaviour

 

[Mummy1995]

Totally understand! She's still not met them at 15months so I've pretty much given up now. She doesn't need scum like that in her life. Anyone who turns their back on an innocent baby and refuses to acknowledge they exist are evil and vile and don't deserve to know Isabella! X

 

[babycrazy1706]

^^ exactly!

 

[tallybee]

Well, fob1's family are great. They have helped me out a lot and we see them when we can even though they live nearly 400 miles away. After I gt out of the relationship with fob1 they were fantastic and understanding of what he'd put me through (he was physically mentally and emotionally abusive and bullying)
We try and see them at least once a year and we keep in touch.

Fob2 on the other hand, is not in contact and I have no contact with his family either, I'd met them only briefly. They've never made any attempt to get in touch whatsoever. Sod them.

 

[Dream.dream]

I'm lucky with my oldest . His grandparents on his dad side come and see him about once a month and really love him . They are more involved in his life then his dad is

My youngest unfortunately he's only got a grandma and great grandparent ( his dad's dad isn't in the picture ) and the great grandparents are very elderly and not mobile and live far away so they've only met him 5-6 Times and his grandma doesn't drive and even if she did she won't come up to see him at my moms where I live ( and I'm not taking him 2 hours on the bus to see her ) so she's seen him 3 times in his life . But my youngests dad is very involved in LO and his older brothers lives

 

[sophie0909uk]

My sons dad died before my son was born. I tried getting my sons grandfather to have a relationship with him, but gave up in the end. My son only sees two aunties. the other family members dont want to know him. My son isnt missing out.

 

[sillysapling]

No BTDT, but I had almost no contact with my extended family for various reasons, and didn't have any problems for it. Anyone who tells you that babies need grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins is full of BS. Now that I'm an adult, there's a few people in my extended family that I've decided to get in contact with, but I'm not in the least bit bothered having not known them when I was a kid. My parents had really good reasons for not wanting to be close to their family members or wanting me to be close to them when I was a kid.

If you don't think FOB's family is a good influence or if they just can't be bothered, don't feel any pressure to include them in your or your child's life. If FOB is still involved, he can do it. It's not your responsibility.