Zero sex Drive after baby

[MEPride]

DD is 12 weeks Friday. I have absolutely no interest in sex still. We are exclusively breastfeeding and my sex drive was low prior to getting pregnant so I'm not entirely surprised.

We tried having sex once a few weeks back but it was uncomfortable and i wasn't into it.

When did your sex drive come back after having your babies? I feel bad for hubby. He is understanding and patient but also horny as heck, hahaha.

 

[IchigoMewMew]

I still have none! I think breastfeeding has a lot to do with it, the hormone balance can make things a bit dry down there especially if your periods haven't come back yet, as well as just not being in the mood (although that probably is a lot to do with tiredness!). I had an episiotomy as well I still wasn't able to walk normally at 8 weeks pp! 6 Weeks is the bare minimum time you need to heal and if you've had tears/cs etc the scars will only be externally healed although still not entirely in a lot of cases. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself if you have a lot of uncomfortable experiences it will put you off even more

 

[xdxxtx]

Breastfeeding makes sex painful for me... I feel dry and not great. It's just not enjoyable. It's better with lubricant... But also, I'm tired and would rather sleep. haha... Once baby starts nursing a lot less frequently, my drive tends to come back. I hope yours returns soon, too.

 

[MEPride]

Breastfeeding makes sex painful for me... I feel dry and not great. It's just not enjoyable. It's better with lubricant... But also, I'm tired and would rather sleep. haha... Once baby starts nursing a lot less frequently, my drive tends to come back. I hope yours returns soon, too.

I totally agree. I'd just much rather sleep at this point. Like i said, hubby understands and is patient. I was just curious about others' experiences.

 

[psychochick]

It is better after period returns in my experience. Yeah we were both exhausted for months. Dont think we had sex for months after. For me partly cuz I was like omg I don't want the possibility of having another one I can't even handle one of these

 

[luz]

Horny as heck?? Are you Mormon?

I’ve had 4 kids and it returned pretty quickly after the first 3. Baby 4 is 15 weeks and I still have no desire, but I’m ok with it. DH on the other hand..... not so thrilled.

 

[noon_child]

I had sex very soon after birth but I think that was because emotionally I was totally freaking out about being a mum, I didn't feel any connection to the baby yet, and so I needed something that felt like affection, something familiar, and looking at my husband I had all this love that I didn't have when I looked at my baby. Of course when the maternal love kicked in and I started to resent my hubby for all the stupid little things new parents resent each other for, the sex life dwindled. Breastfeeding didn't make any difference to my lubrication as far as I noticed. I think when a baby is born two other people are born too - a mum and a dad and it takes time for them to get to know each other and themselves.

 

[Zephram]

Both times it has taken me months to want to get back into. Partly because of recovering - emcs first time and then vbac with third degree tear and episiotomy second time - partly because of exhaustion and babies who wouldn't sleep, and partly like others have said, breastfeeding takes away my sex drive! Breastfeeding can also make you dry so you may need to try lube. Both times by the time baby was closer to a year our sex lives got back to normal, but it's such a big life situation you're going through - things are different now - it will take a while to get back in the groove. It's normal.

 

[misspriss]

With my first two I don't remember having a decreased sex drive while breastfeeding, but this time? No drive whatsoever. I'm usually so exhausted too, which may have something to do with it.

 

[_Meep_]

I have nothing also. I've been breastfeeding non-stop for almost 3.5 years and it has been low the whole time, almost non-existent right now.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I am the same mostly. I think it's breastfeeding and hormonal related as I've been breastfeeding almost 6 years now.

 

[MindUtopia]

It's still very early days. We didn't have sex again until I was 7 months pp. We were just exhausted and bedsharing (and I was not feeling up for it enough to try it in weird places around the house) and just it was not at all a priority. I would say though that the first year or so of having sex again was more just because we felt we should. I don't think I had much of a true sex drive back for about 2 years. But after that it was normal again, even when it was still hard to find the time between night wakings and busy lives. But if your relationship is happy and healthy, there's no reason to stress about it and it will get back to normal in time.

 

[DobbyForever]

Agreed the bfing hormones + exhaustion makes sex so unappealing. I hated it while pregnant as well. Lube definitely helps it hurt less so you can feel more pleasure and maybe work your way back up to wanting it. I’m 19w pp and have had three random and fleeting moments where I wanted sex. J/c has your period returned? I wonder if once the cycles come back that’s when we’ll want it because we’ll be ovulating again

 

[adrie]

We are more sexually active now after the birth of our second child than we were after our first born. I had some physical health issues here and there but we still managed to be intimate in other ways.

My suggestion is to engage in sex much more, whether you are feeling it or not. That has really helped my drive immensely and I don't keep tabs but we are intimate fairly often.

If there is no intimacy, you are basically roommates.

 

[twobecome3]

about 5 weeks pp here and not feeling it yet! big kid has been ill so we are both up with kids in the night. sleep wins here for now!