OH told me he doesnt "find pregnancy attractive"

[Nessicle]

suppose it's a pretty pointless thread as not looking for advice just a shoulder to cry on...

I got really upset last night as I was trying to explain to OH that the MW had recommended lots of sex to start evicting the baby in a few weeks...he's really not keen on the idea, said that he just didnt find pregnancy attractive and that he doesnt feel comfortable having sex with me while I'm pregnant. We've only DTD twice this whole pregnancy and tbh I get really strong BH's when I orgasm anyway so havent been fussed for it so it hasnt been an issue but if it means there is a slight chance baby might come a bit earlier then I'd like to try what I can as any of us would by 37 weeks.

Just looking for some reassurance that my OH isnt the only one who feels this way. I feel pretty rejected and hurt tbh xx

 

[charli87]

aww hun im sure he didnt mean it how it sounded
the last time we dtd was back in june, although oh wants to but when it comes to it he backs out, i think theres something in their heads about hurting the baby, even though we know its not true.
try not to worry, plus baby will come when its ready, as long as you have plenty of cuddles etc it shows thats its purely the pregnancy thats putting him off not you.
it will all be fine im sure

 

[3011busyyear]

Awe poor thing, no wonder you're feeling down. Sounds like hubby needed a little bit more tact. Maybe suggest some other things you could do to feel loved. Bath together, massage, candle lit meal etc.
I think I'm the one not feeling like it, well I do but my bits getting ichy for no reason and my boobs leaking really spoils it for me

 

[Nessicle]

thanks yoiu girls

you're right Charli I need to keep in mind its not me he finds unattractive just pregnancy I suppose with the discharge and swollen stomach and mass of pubic hair I struggle to trim I dont look my best anyway at the moment!

I'm also feeling very hormonal so that doesnt help and you're right 3011 OH doesnt have much tact to be honest - he admits he doesnt explain things very well xx

 

[charli87]

thanks yoiu girls

you're right Charli I need to keep in mind its not me he finds unattractive just pregnancy I suppose with the discharge and swollen stomach and mass of pubic hair I struggle to trim I dont look my best anyway at the moment!

I'm also feeling very hormonal so that doesnt help and you're right 3011 OH doesnt have much tact to be honest - he admits he doesnt explain things very well xx

that made me giggle! especially as your not the only one that looks that way at the moment. i doubt its how you look that is actually putting him off, just the thought of you having lo in there hes just scared, but typical man, he cant say that.

unfortunately its just men in general they're not great with expressing what they think, they need to learn to engage brain before opening mouth lol!

 

[Phinners]

Unpleasant for you certainly hun But at least he is honest about how he feels, I bet a lot of women on here are crying out for their men to be honest about things instead of making up crap excuses. I think perhaps he deserves a bit of credit for that.

 

[ttcgeordie]

some men i think its not that they find it un attractive they just dont understand it like we do they just see there wife getting bigger and the body they loved changing and not to forget the moods we go through lol, it has to be strange for them,
i on the other had have the opposite problem he finds me really attractive and cant keep his hands off me soooo annoying thank god he is only home on the weekends lol XXX

 

[Nessicle]

Never looked at it that way Phinners I think perhaps a combination of him not wording things very well and me being so sensitive at the moment isnt great

 

[Nessicle]

thanks yoiu girls

you're right Charli I need to keep in mind its not me he finds unattractive just pregnancy I suppose with the discharge and swollen stomach and mass of pubic hair I struggle to trim I dont look my best anyway at the moment!

I'm also feeling very hormonal so that doesnt help and you're right 3011 OH doesnt have much tact to be honest - he admits he doesnt explain things very well xx

that made me giggle! especially as your not the only one that looks that way at the moment. i doubt its how you look that is actually putting him off, just the thought of you having lo in there hes just scared, but typical man, he cant say that.

unfortunately its just men in general they're not great with expressing what they think, they need to learn to engage brain before opening mouth lol!

I do look like shit at the moment I must admit I dont find myself very attractive right now lol. I told him him I would turn the other way and we could turn the light off so he didnt have to look at me and then I burst our crying lol poor guy you're right they dont really know how to deal with us at the best of times let alone in pregnancy lol

 

[Phinners]

Never looked at it that way Phinners I think perhaps a combination of him not wording things very well and me being so sensitive at the moment isnt great

I guess really deep down we all prefer to be told straight dont we? Rather than some wishy washy excuse and then end up torturing ourselves trying to work out the meaning between the lines.

Shite I know

 

[Crannog]

To be honest I'd be a bit worried if my OH thought I was more attractive when I'm pregnant than when I'm not. Cue a whole football team of babies and YEARS of being pregnant lol!

 

[FlatShoes]

My mans the same. Silly ******* - it was him wanting to have sex that got me knocked up!!

Just tell him to suck it up and get his willy out. And at least ACT like he's enjoying it.

I mean, does he think I like sucking his cock?! PAH.

 

[EmzyJA]

aww dont feel bad. my hubbi doesnt like doing the deed since i've become pregnant. he finds it weird, and last time her head was so low down it was really off putting. he also worries he's going to poke her lol. xx

 

[Tadpoley]

I can kind of understand his point of view - not the way that you look at all, but having the baby in there, especially now at the stage where they are wriggling about loads and making themselves known does seem a bit weird. Haven't dtd for about a month now, had some aches and cold that just stopped me from feeling up to it, but last couple of times it was actually getting really tricky to find a position that works which was a bit of a romance killer too!

Baby will come out when he is ready, sex or no sex. X

 

[charli87]

I do look like shit at the moment I must admit I dont find myself very attractive right now lol. I told him him I would turn the other way and we could turn the light off so he didnt have to look at me and then I burst our crying lol poor guy you're right they dont really know how to deal with us at the best of times let alone in pregnancy lol

aww bless ya, but yeah he most probably got a little bit confused by that lol!
my poor oh is having to deal with horrendous mood swings currently and doesnt know what to do lol! but this is a hard time for us, why should they get it easy lol!

 

[vicwick]

Aww hun me and DH had a similar conversation the other night, i asked him if he felt like DTD as i didn't wanna come onto him if he didn't feel like it cos i didn't want him feeling like he had to have sex but i didn't want to not cos we haven't DTD in a while as i've just not felt up to it cos i've pulled a muscle in my tummy so didn't want him thinking i didn't WANT to and he said he feels a bit strange DTD while i'm pregnant especially now bubs is moving so much. It must be very weird for them.

I was surprised and took it rather well for a change lol

However i have told him once i hit 37 weeks he has no choice in the matter JK

 

[Worrisome]

Hi ya Ness :wave:

Every time I have gotten pregnant we never had sex. And this time when we ttc my hubby said " and we will have lots of sex this time, non of this silly will I hurt the baby etc" well we dtd when I was 20 weeks and then thats it. In fact we watched sex in the city and I said "every one is having sex" and he just said " wont be long, our time will come". It must be very hard for men to ignore the big bump and the movements from baby, must throw them off kilter

 

[Nessicle]

My mans the same. Silly ******* - it was him wanting to have sex that got me knocked up!!

Just tell him to suck it up and get his willy out. And at least ACT like he's enjoying it.

I mean, does he think I like sucking his cock?! PAH.

:rolf: that made me laugh so much!!!

I do look like shit at the moment I must admit I dont find myself very attractive right now lol. I told him him I would turn the other way and we could turn the light off so he didnt have to look at me and then I burst our crying lol poor guy you're right they dont really know how to deal with us at the best of times let alone in pregnancy lol

aww bless ya, but yeah he most probably got a little bit confused by that lol!
my poor oh is having to deal with horrendous mood swings currently and doesnt know what to do lol! but this is a hard time for us, why should they get it easy lol!

exactly! its hard work for us why shouldnt they have to put in a bit of effort to "help out" ha ha

Aww hun me and DH had a similar conversation the other night, i asked him if he felt like DTD as i didn't wanna come onto him if he didn't feel like it cos i didn't want him feeling like he had to have sex but i didn't want to not cos we haven't DTD in a while as i've just not felt up to it cos i've pulled a muscle in my tummy so didn't want him thinking i didn't WANT to and he said he feels a bit strange DTD while i'm pregnant especially now bubs is moving so much. It must be very weird for them.

I was surprised and took it rather well for a change lol

However i have told him once i hit 37 weeks he has no choice in the matter JK

yeah it must be weird - suppose I'm scared of him finding it elsewhere which is stupid because I know he would never do that to me!

 

[ttc_lolly]

Awww hun try not to let it upset you, whilst my OH didn't say anything and we still DTD i knew he too didn't find the bump particularly sexy... tbf neither did i (along with my huge dark nipples, stretchies, weight gain the list is endless!) There are lots of ways to try & evict your LO besides sexytime - and none of them are guaranteed anyway!! The thing with sex is the prostaglandins in his sperm, so why not give evening primrose oil a try as it does the same thing? xx

 

[Bluebell321]

My DH certainly can't hide the fact that he's not keen on my pregnancy look. I walked into the bedroom with nothing on this morning, and he had such a look of horror on his face then he hid under the duvet! He did apologise, but said it's hard as I just don't look like me. I guess they all view pregnancy differently.