This really SUCKS!!!!

[Braven05]

I'm so upset...I slept so horribly last night. This is a long story but it has me so upset. So my OH has a sister...she's adopted. His mother had him biologically and couldn't have any more kids so she adopted...but the easiest way was to adopt children with issues (and minority) because it'd be faster. So this girl is biopolar and maybe some other things as well...and has a bad bad history of violence and not taking meds, etc etc. She sleeps around, tries to kill herself constantly...all kinds of messed up. So a couple months after I find out I'm pregnant...surprise...she's pregnant too!

Fast forward to now..she's got a little baby boy who's a month younger than my LO, doesn't know who the father is and is living with my OHs mother because she can't support herself let alone herself and the baby. My OHs mother is financially responsible for this girl until she turns 21 (which just blows my mind) so its easier to have her in the house anyways. She was ok mentally during her pregnancy and they were thinking things were looking up, she was taking care of the baby, etc...well now she's having some sort of break and is freaking out on OHs mother.

She called him last night and I could hear her screaming in the background and she was holding the baby at the time.She sleeps until 2 and ignores his cries, she's screaming at him, she's tried to give him boiling hot bottles...it just makes me sick thinking about it. She won't let OHs mother take care of him. She's been talking about giving him away and doing a private adoption, etc...and obviously OHs mother is attached to this boy and would take custody of him if she could (but it'd be hard, she works full time and takes full time care of her 19 year old adopted son who is autistic, deaf, and has cerebral palsy)...but OHs sister is trying to do whatever she can to hurt her to get back at her for some imagined wrong-doing.

I'm so sad and scared for this baby. OHs mom called the cops on her last night because she was trying to leave the house with the baby in his carseat on foot and he was barely dressed at it was like 30 degrees...and the cops told her to stay in her part of the house, stop antagonizing her, and she can do what she wants with her baby, she's not hurting him. Apparently the cops in this backwoods town are assholes and even when OHs sister has hit their mother in the past they won't let her press charges.

She started in screaming again at 3 am because OHs mother got up to change the baby because he was crying and his sister was in the bathroom on the phone and she took the baby away, propped a bottle in his mouth, said "Here you fat fuck now shut up" and started screaming at their mother.I can't believe that she can't get any help here. She needs to not have custody of this baby...and the cops need to fucking do something. This is just blowing my mind and I'm sooo angry...I'm afraid this baby is going to end up dead!

 

[lisaf]

she should call CPS, they can do more than the cops... assign a social worker etc

 

[Sarah lo]

That poor poor baby! In the UK we have social services who get involved in cases like this and take babies away from parents like that. Do you have something similar? Or could you maybe talk to your SOL's doctor?

 

[Braven05]

She did call the CPS hotline this morning...waiting to see if anything happens....in the meantime she's got to leave him alone with her while she goes to work

 

[holidaysan]

Poor baby and feel so sorry for your OH's mum. It must be awful having to watch LO being mistreated.
God forbid anything happens to the baby while she is at work. There must be someone else who can get involved. What kind of officers think she can do what she wants with her baby. Stupid f*cks!

 

[xcharx]

That's soo sad really hope the CPS can do something!! x

 

[snowflakes]

That is so sad.. I pray that cps will step in and do something. The ideal situation would be to send your sil to a hospital for observation (especially since she is not taking meds and sounds like she could be a threat to herself, baby and others) and your Mil get full custody or atleast temp custody until things are sorted.. Can anyone go over there to check on the baby today? It just hurts my heart to think of the baby alone with her today. Poor thing!

 

[kdea547]

Call CPS immediately! She and her son clearly need help and you or MIL cannot legally do anything until the authorities are involved. Please don't let it go. I have seen/heard of cases of children ending up severely injured or even dead because no one called CPS on abusers, addicts, etc.

Sorry, did not see that CPS had been called. Perhaps if you also file a complaint, it will get more attention?

 

[Cee108]

Its so lovely that the kid has a solid family like you guys who care... the situation is heartbreaking and I hope the social services get involved soon

xx

 

[Braven05]

Ugh situation just got so much more complicated...apparently the sister has been in contact with someone and her social worker and they've just come and taken the baby...not sure exaclty where they're taking him but its like a facility pending a DNA test from a potential father...but its not CPS and CPS said they shouldn't be able to do what they're doing but my OH just thinks that now he's out of the home and away from his mother that we're never going to see him again and he's going to end up in the system or somewhere with his sister still in danger...but the most important thing is...he's out of immediate danger from his mother...I'm just sad...OHs mom is soooo upset...crying her eyes out...the police are being jerks to her in her own home and all she wants is to protect that poor little baby. My OH texted his sister and said we'd take him and she said she'd never give him her baby because their mom would be able to see him still. She doesn't want him but she doesn't want the family to have him. I'm so frustrated

 

[lisaf]

omg, that so sad Did CPS take the baby due to your mom's call or something else? (a little confused).
Is it possible when CPS came the sister said 'just take him' or said stuff that made it clear that they needed to remove the child?

Your mom may be able to file for custody rights or at least visitation... it depends on state law, but I don't know if she'd be allowed to have the child in her home while she's still responsible for the sister.

I think you and your husband could file for custody at least temporarily and I don't know that the mom could stop it since you are related to the child and the child is being removed for safety reasons?

Maybe you can call and find out who the caseworker is and ask what you can do, what everyone's rights are etc? Your mom might want to hire a lawyer to start working on custody/visitation papers?

 

[milf2be]

has harsh at it sounds i think she needs to be sectioned, for her safety and the baby's. i didnt really understand the last post, has the baby been taken away?x

 

[Braven05]

They were in the process of taking him some place...I wasn't really clear on it either...my OH just called to say that the sister's case worker and the police showed up to take the baby to a hospital until they got dna testing for paternity done...but OHs mom had called CPS and apparently they showed up and were all there at the same time. I haven't gotten any new updates.

Unfortunately the county that she lives in is VERY familiar with her and they don't want to deal with her. So unless she makes a serious threat they won't do anything and if they do they'll only keep her for whatever is required (24 or 48 hours). She has been in and out of institutions for years.

After I figure out whats going on I'm going to have OH call and tell them we'll take him...that way he's far away from the whole situation (they live about 45 mins away)

 

[Braven05]

Okay...so CPS got there and told his sister that she could come and go as she pleased but she was NOT allowed to leave the house with the baby and observed her being crazy and told my OH's mother to apply tomorrow for emergency custody of the baby and also put our name out there as a backup. I feel so relieved that they're involved now. And they said what the cops were trying to do was illegal and they couldn't believe they were doing it. So for right now things are ok but the sister is still in the house..I think its possible that while the sister is still there they're going to tell OHs mother that she can't have custody of him because he'll still be around the mother...I don't know much about it though and I'm getting all the information 3rd hand lol

 

[LaLaBelle]

Tell OH's sister that if she lets you take custody, you won't let OH's mom see the baby. Do whatever it takes to get that kid into your custody, and if that's what it takes, promise her. You can renege on your promise once the baby is legally in your temporary custody, because by then it will be harder for her to get the kid back.

If I were in your position, I'd get a lawyer and start doing whatever I legally could do get that kid to safety.

 

[milf2be]

would you be ok looking after her baby too? i cant believe the police, what use are they fgs?? does she have a doctor or a counselor you could inform? like i said before she sounds like she needs to be hospitalized :/

keep us updated hun and good luck x

 

[lisaf]

Very glad to hear that update. The baby is being kept safe, and as rough as it may be until custody gets sorted out, its a lot less rough than what could have happened
Very glad the CPS are aware of what the cops did being illegal... hope they push through some disciplinary measures on that.

 

[Braven05]

would you be ok looking after her baby too? i cant believe the police, what use are they fgs?? does she have a doctor or a counselor you could inform? like i said before she sounds like she needs to be hospitalized :/

keep us updated hun and good luck x

Would I jump for joy at caring for a 15 week old and a 10 week old? Nope! lol but I'd do it and we'd manage as long as we weren't responsible for anything monetarily because we couldn't...we can barely take care of ourselves that way. But we can offer our home and our love

 

[milf2be]

would you be ok looking after her baby too? i cant believe the police, what use are they fgs?? does she have a doctor or a counselor you could inform? like i said before she sounds like she needs to be hospitalized :/

keep us updated hun and good luck x

Would I jump for joy at caring for a 15 week old and a 10 week old? Nope! lol but I'd do it and we'd manage as long as we weren't responsible for anything monetarily because we couldn't...we can barely take care of ourselves that way. But we can offer our home and our love

thats why i asked because it would be so hard for you. you have been so kind to offer

any updates?
x

 

[little_lady]

This breaks my heart, the poor little baby. how can anyone treat their baby like that?.I think you are so kind and good hearted for offering to take him in.