1 year on...no further forward

[zoe87]

Hi Ladies...its been 1 year since my last m/c and a previous m/c in Aug 08 also. Don't know why but this week has been torture I keep thinking about it over and over again and cant stop crying. My first angel will have been coming up 1 in march. What makes it even worse for me is since my last m/c in Jan 09 I havent fallen pregnant yet! Ive had hormone tests and they came bk fine. Im begining to think i should just give up...My cycles are irregular as hell sometimes 2 month cycles and others 3o. My OH is going away to work begining of April and I feel if im not pregnant before then im going to loose all hope. Sorry for the rant I just needed to express my feelings as OH always avoids the conversation when im feeling low.
One quick question for you ladies Do i class myself as been TTC since my last m/c or do i class it from when i first fell pregnant in 08??

 

[Jem88]

Hi, we class it as we've been ttc since our 1st mc, that was year & 8 months ago, and we got our 2nd bfp 3months ago, but it was chemical. Have they said anything about why your cycles are irregular? has your OH had tests done? i know its hard to keep goin and somtimes i think about giving up, but then i think if i give up then i won't have our baby. the good thing is that you've been preg twice so it can happen, i also kno that people get sick of hearing that and when you've been ttc for a good while it just seems pointless at times, do you chart? maybe it might help and see when you ovulate an see what your cycles are doin?

 

[zoe87]

Thank Jem for replying! so technically ive been TTC for nearlt 2 years now. Sorry to hear bout your loss ( My doctor just did hormone tests and they came back fine so dont really know what to do now. He hasnt mentioned anything about anymore test or for my OH. Im so not in the know of everything i dont even no what to ask my GP now in regards of moving forward.
Thats how i keep thinking Jem i feel hopeless but somehow i feel ive just got to get on with it to get my little miricle one day. Ive been meaning to chart for a while but dont have a clue what shops sell Basal thermoters to take my temp. Do you chart?


[IMG]https://<a href="https://www.mysunwillshine.com" target="_blank" title="https://s281.photobucket.com/albums/kk227/mysunwillshine/FamilyMomContent/MomBabyLoss/mom9.png">[/IMG]

 

[KatyKat]

Boots sell basal temperature monitoring kits - we used one before the last miscarriage and found it quite useful. Took a couple of cylces to start to see the patterns emerging, but I'm glad we did as I'm convinced it helped us to get lucky the last time.

It took us nearly two years to conceive before our first miscarriage, and I found it so frustrating, my biggest fear right now is that it will take us as long to conceive again. So I can understand how you feel - try to take heart from the fact that you know you can conceive, and just keep trying. It's not a lot, but it's better than nothing

 

[Jem88]

Ive been charting for about 6 months now, and i now kno when im roughly going to ovulate so we just BD whenever until that point then bd everyday until ive ovulated then just bd whenever afterwards, its took alot of stress and worry off ttc, really your OH should do a sperm sample an see if he could have problem aswell. my cycles are fine & im ovulating every month, its just my OH who has motility issues, he gets his 2nd SA results back in 2days so were hopin to see a good change in this one.

 

[zoe87]

Thanks for your advice Katykat very helpful
I think its going to be worth charting and temping so im going to start as soon as I have thermoter n that. Can i start anytime or do i have to start when AF comes? Jem im wishing u a sticky bean very soon and hope your OH results come back fine. If you dont mind me asking what does SA results stand for? I am going to go back to my GP and if he tries and fobs me off im going to tell him i want OH sperm testing too.

I dont know why but ive always thought that if ive conceived before then OH's sperm must be okay. How stupid am i lol

https://lagf.lilypie.com/YyaB.pnghttps://lagf.lilypie.com/4rN6.png

 

[Jem88]

SA means sperm analysis. your OH might be fine, you just might just have trouble conciving becuase of your irregular cycles and you's might be missing ovulation.. but it's best to see if theres problems with both? I'm suprised your GP didn't offer your OH a test, when we went to our GP after 12 months ttc we both got told we had to do tests. its best to start temping at the start of your cycle, when i first started to temp, i didnt temp until my period had nearly finished, was from CD 8 until AF arrives, but now i kno roughly when i ovulate i dont temp until CD 16 until AF arrives. if you try an do it 1st thing in the mornin when you wake up before you get out of bed, roughly the same time then you should an idea if when you;ve ovulated if everythings okay. good luck

 

[zoe87]

Thanks so much you've been a great help! Would be nice to see how you get on in the future with getting your sticky bean! Hope u dont mind but added u as a friend

 

[FBbaby]

Thanks for your advice Katykat very helpful
I think its going to be worth charting and temping so im going to start as soon as I have thermoter n that. Can i start anytime or do i have to start when AF comes? Jem im wishing u a sticky bean very soon and hope your OH results come back fine. If you dont mind me asking what does SA results stand for? I am going to go back to my GP and if he tries and fobs me off im going to tell him i want OH sperm testing too.

I dont know why but ive always thought that if ive conceived before then OH's sperm must be okay. How stupid am i lol

https://lagf.lilypie.com/YyaB.pnghttps://lagf.lilypie.com/4rN6.png

We thought exactly the same thing, we fell pg first cycle trying so when I m/c, we told ourselves that at least we knew his swimmers were fine. How wrong we were, 9 months later, we went through all the tests (at least I'm lucky my GP has been brilliant) and it came out that my OH swimmers were far from ok. It came as a total shock.

The thing is, we DID get pregnant before so we know it is possible, but at 39, I don't have the time to wait for another miracle, so we might have no choice but to go via assisted conception.

Don't want to worry you, ttc 1 year (from m/c) is nothing unusual even without any problems, but I do think it is a good thing to get tested as it is better to know where you stand. OH will be testing again in April and we hope the first one was a bad one off, but regardless, I feel so much better that we know where we stand.

 

[zoe87]

Thanks FBbaby im so sorry to hear about your m/c too it truely is a devastating experiance no women should have to go through. I keep telling myself the same thing if ive concieved before there must be some chance of it happening again
If i want my OH tested does tht mean ile have to pay for it? or will my doctor just test my OH's spermie?
Only problem is hes going away to work april so this is really my last chance to concieve for the nxt year as he will be only be back every few months for a couple of weeks
Would be really nice to know how you and ur OH get on and get your sticky bean very soon

 

[KatyKat]

Hi Zoe87,

I charted from the fisrt day of my AF, although I think you can start any time. It's probably better to start from the beginning as you can see when your temperature changes, it might not be as clear if you start charting after this has happened?

Jem88's right about your OH getting tested. We were offered that after a year of trying with no luck, and luckily the tests showed my OH is fine. It's frustrating that we've still struggled, but at least you know that the problem doesn't lie there! I thought most Dr's tended towards testing both parties anyway, as the problem (if there is one) could easily be with either one?

We were fortunate to be referred to the Centre for Life in Newcastle, and we went through the whole gamut of tests, some less pleasant than others, but it does help even if they don't find anything obviously wrong.

Good luck to you though, and I hope you have some success soon ;-)

 

[FBbaby]

Zoe, I'm sorry that you now have to face your OH going away. Will he be able to get back at times of his choice (ie. when you're ov), or will it be a question of hoping that you do ov when he is back home?

My OH got his SA via me being referred to the consultant. In our area, you go to a local private hospital, but otherwise, your OH just needs to make an appt to his GP and request it. He might have to go to local hospital or another local clinic.

 

[zoe87]

We were fortunate to be referred to the Centre for Life in Newcastle, and we went through the whole gamut of tests, some less pleasant than others, but it does help even if they don't find anything obviously wrong.

Good luck to you though, and I hope you have some success soon ;-)

Thanks Katykar is the center for life specfied in this field here all the time && is this the nearest for the north east area? I only ask because im from Durham.

I guess im just hoping ile be oving wen OH is back home but he wont be home for about 3 months at a time. We desp want a baby after everything that has happened but we could really do with the money aswell to get ourselves out of our little rut where in.
Im worrying that their wont be enough time for my OH to get tested before he goes away. I am going to make an appointment 1st thing MOnday morning with my GP as i was meant to go back after I had my hormone results back :/
Thank so much for your advice && please keep me informed with yourselves