10 weeks pregnant and alone :(

[tagisit11487]

I am 10weeks pregant and my boyfriend & I just broke up the other night because he is too controlling. I don't know what to do anymore. When I found out I was pregnant, him and I weren't together, but got back together because I wanted the baby to have his dad in his life. I moved in with him [and his wretched mother]. His mother does not pay rent and mooches off of him. She is an ugly 60 year old troll who didn't even care that I was pregnant. He supports his mother, and is 29. I just turned 23 in November. His mother was jealous of me being with her son, and found any way to ruin the relationship, and did. Her and him also are both smokers, which no offense, he wanted me to stop talking to friends, going out with friends [which i only would attend concerts for my favorite bands andmusicals] but he didn't want to stop smoking, even though it could effect the baby. It costed him $600 a month for cigs for him and his mother. If I wanted something, Id have to pay for it myself. He drove me to insanity level. Now he thinks him and his mom are getting custody of the kid. I dont have a car and my mother came and picked me up from his apt yesterday she told us we have to work things out which he replied with 'F**K YOU _____' [my moms name there]. His mom was outside and heard it and LAUGHED because her mission was complete. Now I dont know what to do. I dont even want the baby seeing or knowing him [and his mother]
I been crying for the past two days

 

[tagisit11487]

any input?

 

[lulu35]

massive sorry its not advice x

 

[tagisit11487]

massive sorry its not advice x

thank you

i just don't know what to do anymore

 

[chels24uk]

huni im so sorry But tbh, it sounds like you got back together for the wrong reasons and that you got out of a nasty situation. Im a believer that unless the father is a danger to the child then the door needs to be left open as far as access goes. Even if its supervised. If you dont, then one day you will have your child to answer to. Give him one chance to be a dad, if he messes up then you will have every right to say "no more". Dont let them intimidate you with custody, they wont win if it went to court.
I know its hard now, but try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Things will work out in the end xxx *HUGE hugs* i hope your ok xxx

 

[shyfox1988]

its going to be hard hun, but it sounds like he dont deserve to be in your and your unborn babies life, give him one chance to buck his ideas up and thats it, he is the one that needs to prove that he should be in your babys life,

it is hard to be a single parent but we dont need men in our lives for our babies to be happy and healthy, you will be a great mum to your unborn baby im sure,

just concerntrate on you and ur unborn baby for now, i really hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and it all goes well,

if you ever need someone to chat too im always here your more then welcome to send me a privet message xXx

 

[tagisit11487]

yeah. i want him to be in the babys life, but i dont at the same time because im so mad at him for being a jerk and trying to ruin my life by controlling me constantly.

 

[chels24uk]

i totaly understand that. If it were upto me, id cut my twat ex out of my life for good! Cant do that to my son though (slightly different for me though because my son is 5 years old and up until recently, hes been a fantastic dad)

 

[shyfox1988]

yeah. i want him to be in the babys life, but i dont at the same time because im so mad at him for being a jerk and trying to ruin my life by controlling me constantly.

i know that feeling huni, my ex(my 2 son's daddy) was like that too he controlled me so much and was extreamly violent it took me 4 years to get away from him and to be honest i wish id had the strength to do it sooner, no one deserves to be treated that way and it effects the kids more then you can realise, my eldest was 2 1/2 when i left his dad yet he remembers alot that i never thought he would and hes 5 years old now, but luckly my youngest son dont remember anything due to only being 5 months old when i left, the only good thing that came from my ex is my boys, up until recently hes only ever seen them once a week, but right near the end of my pregnancy with my lil girl i gave him the chance to have them a lil more, one to give me a break and 2 to give him the chance to prove his self to my boys that even though he put me through hell, he can be a good dad when he chooses too.

you did the best thing getting away from him hun, now he just needs to prove that he wants and can be a good dad even though your not together i really hope things work out for you xXx

 

[tagisit11487]

yeah. i want him to be in the babys life, but i dont at the same time because im so mad at him for being a jerk and trying to ruin my life by controlling me constantly.

i know that feeling huni, my ex(my 2 son's daddy) was like that too he controlled me so much and was extreamly violent it took me 4 years to get away from him and to be honest i wish id had the strength to do it sooner, no one deserves to be treated that way and it effects the kids more then you can realise, my eldest was 2 1/2 when i left his dad yet he remembers alot that i never thought he would and hes 5 years old now, but luckly my youngest son dont remember anything due to only being 5 months old when i left, the only good thing that came from my ex is my boys, up until recently hes only ever seen them once a week, but right near the end of my pregnancy with my lil girl i gave him the chance to have them a lil more, one to give me a break and 2 to give him the chance to prove his self to my boys that even though he put me through hell, he can be a good dad when he chooses too.

you did the best thing getting away from him hun, now he just needs to prove that he wants and can be a good dad even though your not together i really hope things work out for you xXx

aww yeah. im just scared he would brain wash the kid to hate me. i dont have a job right now. i live in my grandparents house with them, my mom, my brother, and now my 8 yr old cousin [cuz she recently lost her mom] and i have to share a room and bunk bed with her [that kills my back]. everything just sucks and im scared

im also afraid ill be alone forever because what guy is going to want a 23year old girl whos pregnant/having a baby? none

 

[Sandie_Cali]

Because what guy is going to want a 23year old girl whos pregnant/having a baby?

That comment is 100% wrong.. There are many men who would love to have a loving girlfriend or wife with a child, as long as she loves and respects him.

Just because your FOB is a complete idiot as his mother does not define who you are, nor does you being a single mother. Being a single mother is the hardest and most rewarding job anyone could ever have, but just because you are single now does not mean you will be single forever. If you want it, it will come to you.

Dont be sad with the situation you are in now it is only temporary, many would love to be in your shoes right now, but appreciate the love and support you have in your life right now with your family, you have them. There are people who have no one and no where to go.

I am sorry you are going through this, but all in all you did the right thing in leaving.. Read your post, stick with your decision and be strong for you and your little one.

 

[tagisit11487]

now my ex sent me a text saying he wants a paternity test because he doesnt think the kid is his so i told him just to forget it and that i dont ever want him in the kids life. i cant take this anymore.

 

[QuintinsMommy]

I've been single since 6 weeks pregnant, now like 19 months later, I just started seeing someone, it took me along time to get use to be alone but I really learned to love myself now I am more ready for a real healthy normal relationships