KSeifried07
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- Mar 11, 2015
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Hey mamas! Ok, so I have posted in here a few times in the past and have really enjoyed my experiences here. I haven't been online in a while and I haven't been posting the last couple of months because after alost a year of TTC and no luck I had a bit if a "I give up meltdown". For anyone who has ever read my posts before you are probably aware that they tend to be rather long, so please hold in there with me. I would love to hear any advice or any stories of similar situations you ladies with children or with BFPs have been in. So here we go.
For the last couple of months hubby and I have sort of lost hope and kind of gave up on TTC. This has been a very difficult time for us and all the charting and obsessive POAS sessions have just torn us down. He cries, I cry.. and we get depressed. And its just been a big mess for the two of us. Very stressful. So right before we decided to just call it quits I starting taking Fertilaid to regulate my cycles because ever since I came off the Depo shot they have been all sorts of wacked out (kind of long cycles). But the last 3 months I have stuck to my Fertilaid and it did the trick as far as regulating my cycle perfectly. And this month we decided to do OPK's. I recieved my positive OPK on June 29th. We did the baby dance every other day starting on the very first day my period ended (June 9th) and then ever day during my positive OPK (June 26th, 27th, 28th, 29th, and 30th)..
I know I ovulated due to the positive opk and I also FELT myself ovulate. This is probably the first time since coming off Depo I have actually ever felt my ovulation take place. Which brings me to assume that maybe I have not been ovulating until now which has resulted in all of our BFNs. I had the most terrible pain in my lower tummy on the right side, almost like period cramps but not as intense (my period cramps are a nightmare) and it only lasted about 20 to 30 minutes before I felt better. I also fainted out of the blue for absolutely no real reason at all just a couple of days afterwards. I have felt fine ever since, not sick or anything. And, TMI warning, for the first couple of mornings (two or three days) after my positive OPK I had the worst diarrhea ever. I almost didn't make it to the potty. But it was only in the mornings and after that I would feel find for the rest of the day.
For the next few days after that i definitely felt light pinching, as if someone was literally taking their fingers and pinching my ovaries from the inside. And a couple of times my insides where the pinching took place felt kind of hot or like a slight burning sensation. On July 8th and 9th, 9-10 dpo I had almost terrible cramps. Exactly like my period but not as bad. Again, my period cramps are a miserable nightmare. I could have honestly sworn my period was about to start at any moment but the cramps were actually bearable, whereas my period cramps are so bad they keep me in bed with a heating pad and in tears for about 4 days. The cramping was on and off, unlike my period cramps that are constant. I usually start cramping the day before my period is due. So according to my calender it was too early. But of course I just assumed I was out of the race and my period was coming early this month. It never came and the cramping stopped.
The usual before AF shows her ugly wretched face, I break out like a puberty infested teenager about a week (give or take a few days) before. Pimples and acne all over my face and shoulders and back. My breasts will swell up in agnozing pain and (if any of this is TMI I am sorry) my nipples will feel swollen and sunburned. My veins in my breasts become very noticeable and my nipples turn from pink to a dark purple/brown color. And oooohhhh the pain! They also feel rock hard and hurt to the touch. I also become hungry. STARVING even. And my sweet tooth gets out of control. For a week before my period I am a pimple faced swollen boobed ill mannered chocolate fiend. My husband has laughed at me because he has seen me sit and eat almost an entire tub of ice cream by myself because of my period coming. I honestly couldn't stop shoving food in my mouth if I tried.
This month? Not one pimple. Not a single breakout like before my period.
My breasts started getting kind of sore a couple of days ago. But not the same as before AF. They aren't as intense and it kind of comes and goes. My right breast swelled up and felt more full and painful than the left for a day. And now they don't feel hard or swollen like normal. But they are kind of sore. But nothing too major and it only started about 2 days ago. Not a week ago like usual before AF. They just kind of feel like they would if I stuffed them in a bra that was too little all day long and then finally set them free kind of sore. And a slight bit of swelling. And also, I have no appetite what so ever. It is so challenging for me to eat and it has been this way for about a week. The thought of eating anything makes me want to vomit. I literally have to force myself to eat and I can't manage to eat much. I've also been picking up really well on smells. Smells aren't too over powering, but my nose just seems to be on her A game for the lat few days. And I've also noticed for about a week now my husband has been rather pissy. He seems moody and emotional and aggravated. Which is not like him at all. Especially towards me. He is an absolute 100% sweetheart. But for the last week we have been very irritated with each other over silly things. This is definitely out of the ordinary. He also has had a serious loss of appetite.
I should also mention for one night, at about 6dpo I had UTI symptoms. No burning or irritation, but just the pressure and feeling of needing to pee constantly and having to run to the bathroom and pee every 30 minutes or so. It was like a UTI without the pain. And then after that night it was gone. From my experience, a uti doesn't go away in one night lol. I haven't had any frequent urination or anything since then. Everything feels normal. I feel rather normal. No other pregnancy symtoms, but absolutely no other AF symptoms either.
And last thing, I did not chart my BBT this month (too stressful) but from the billions of times that I have my regular BBT is around d 96.7 to 96.8 or in that ballpark. This morning I decided to stick the BBT thermometer in my mouth just for curiosity and giggles and it was 98.78??? I haven't messed with my temperature again since then because it stresses me out far too much.
AF is due tomorrow. I have no signs or symptoms that she is on her way. I took a HPT at 8dpo (I know, I know!) And it was BFN. But hubby reminded me that it was still too early to test and to not do this to myself again this month. So I have been trying to talk myself down and actually convince myself I am not pregnant and not to be a dumb dumb and get my hopes up.. But what do you ladies think??... Do I sound like I have any hope this month? Have any of you had any similar experiences? I am considering taking a test in the morning if AF doesn't show (with my luck she will show her wretched self right on time and right after I post this lIke the mean old witch she is) but I'm not sure if I should worry about it and maybe wait another couple of days. I will be 12 dpo tomorrow. I just feel.. different... this month. Idk. My body has evil ways of playing tricks on me every chance it gets so no matter how I feel I can't bring myself to trust it anymore.
So.. any advice?
and thank you ladies for taking the time to listen to me raddle on. Even if I don't get my BFP it feels good to at least write these things down or let it all out. 
For the last couple of months hubby and I have sort of lost hope and kind of gave up on TTC. This has been a very difficult time for us and all the charting and obsessive POAS sessions have just torn us down. He cries, I cry.. and we get depressed. And its just been a big mess for the two of us. Very stressful. So right before we decided to just call it quits I starting taking Fertilaid to regulate my cycles because ever since I came off the Depo shot they have been all sorts of wacked out (kind of long cycles). But the last 3 months I have stuck to my Fertilaid and it did the trick as far as regulating my cycle perfectly. And this month we decided to do OPK's. I recieved my positive OPK on June 29th. We did the baby dance every other day starting on the very first day my period ended (June 9th) and then ever day during my positive OPK (June 26th, 27th, 28th, 29th, and 30th)..
I know I ovulated due to the positive opk and I also FELT myself ovulate. This is probably the first time since coming off Depo I have actually ever felt my ovulation take place. Which brings me to assume that maybe I have not been ovulating until now which has resulted in all of our BFNs. I had the most terrible pain in my lower tummy on the right side, almost like period cramps but not as intense (my period cramps are a nightmare) and it only lasted about 20 to 30 minutes before I felt better. I also fainted out of the blue for absolutely no real reason at all just a couple of days afterwards. I have felt fine ever since, not sick or anything. And, TMI warning, for the first couple of mornings (two or three days) after my positive OPK I had the worst diarrhea ever. I almost didn't make it to the potty. But it was only in the mornings and after that I would feel find for the rest of the day.
For the next few days after that i definitely felt light pinching, as if someone was literally taking their fingers and pinching my ovaries from the inside. And a couple of times my insides where the pinching took place felt kind of hot or like a slight burning sensation. On July 8th and 9th, 9-10 dpo I had almost terrible cramps. Exactly like my period but not as bad. Again, my period cramps are a miserable nightmare. I could have honestly sworn my period was about to start at any moment but the cramps were actually bearable, whereas my period cramps are so bad they keep me in bed with a heating pad and in tears for about 4 days. The cramping was on and off, unlike my period cramps that are constant. I usually start cramping the day before my period is due. So according to my calender it was too early. But of course I just assumed I was out of the race and my period was coming early this month. It never came and the cramping stopped.
The usual before AF shows her ugly wretched face, I break out like a puberty infested teenager about a week (give or take a few days) before. Pimples and acne all over my face and shoulders and back. My breasts will swell up in agnozing pain and (if any of this is TMI I am sorry) my nipples will feel swollen and sunburned. My veins in my breasts become very noticeable and my nipples turn from pink to a dark purple/brown color. And oooohhhh the pain! They also feel rock hard and hurt to the touch. I also become hungry. STARVING even. And my sweet tooth gets out of control. For a week before my period I am a pimple faced swollen boobed ill mannered chocolate fiend. My husband has laughed at me because he has seen me sit and eat almost an entire tub of ice cream by myself because of my period coming. I honestly couldn't stop shoving food in my mouth if I tried.
This month? Not one pimple. Not a single breakout like before my period.
My breasts started getting kind of sore a couple of days ago. But not the same as before AF. They aren't as intense and it kind of comes and goes. My right breast swelled up and felt more full and painful than the left for a day. And now they don't feel hard or swollen like normal. But they are kind of sore. But nothing too major and it only started about 2 days ago. Not a week ago like usual before AF. They just kind of feel like they would if I stuffed them in a bra that was too little all day long and then finally set them free kind of sore. And a slight bit of swelling. And also, I have no appetite what so ever. It is so challenging for me to eat and it has been this way for about a week. The thought of eating anything makes me want to vomit. I literally have to force myself to eat and I can't manage to eat much. I've also been picking up really well on smells. Smells aren't too over powering, but my nose just seems to be on her A game for the lat few days. And I've also noticed for about a week now my husband has been rather pissy. He seems moody and emotional and aggravated. Which is not like him at all. Especially towards me. He is an absolute 100% sweetheart. But for the last week we have been very irritated with each other over silly things. This is definitely out of the ordinary. He also has had a serious loss of appetite.
I should also mention for one night, at about 6dpo I had UTI symptoms. No burning or irritation, but just the pressure and feeling of needing to pee constantly and having to run to the bathroom and pee every 30 minutes or so. It was like a UTI without the pain. And then after that night it was gone. From my experience, a uti doesn't go away in one night lol. I haven't had any frequent urination or anything since then. Everything feels normal. I feel rather normal. No other pregnancy symtoms, but absolutely no other AF symptoms either.
And last thing, I did not chart my BBT this month (too stressful) but from the billions of times that I have my regular BBT is around d 96.7 to 96.8 or in that ballpark. This morning I decided to stick the BBT thermometer in my mouth just for curiosity and giggles and it was 98.78??? I haven't messed with my temperature again since then because it stresses me out far too much.
AF is due tomorrow. I have no signs or symptoms that she is on her way. I took a HPT at 8dpo (I know, I know!) And it was BFN. But hubby reminded me that it was still too early to test and to not do this to myself again this month. So I have been trying to talk myself down and actually convince myself I am not pregnant and not to be a dumb dumb and get my hopes up.. But what do you ladies think??... Do I sound like I have any hope this month? Have any of you had any similar experiences? I am considering taking a test in the morning if AF doesn't show (with my luck she will show her wretched self right on time and right after I post this lIke the mean old witch she is) but I'm not sure if I should worry about it and maybe wait another couple of days. I will be 12 dpo tomorrow. I just feel.. different... this month. Idk. My body has evil ways of playing tricks on me every chance it gets so no matter how I feel I can't bring myself to trust it anymore.
So.. any advice?
and thank you ladies for taking the time to listen to me raddle on. Even if I don't get my BFP it feels good to at least write these things down or let it all out. 
Its frustrating. Try not to think about it to much. I've been driving myself crazy with testing and charting and I've just given up because it is to stressful and it made everything feel like a job...I hope things work out for you this month 
