11yr and depression

[Novabomb]

Hey girls :wave: I need some help I have a 11yr old daughter and in May she had started her period and since then I have noticed some changes she has been saying things like I am not pretty and I am not happy with myself she has even told me that she thinks that she is ugly and fat and it is not true at all she is 5'2 and 104lb not fat and I think she is BEAUTIFUL. But I am geting worried because she has been telling me that she feels depressed all the time and she worried about everything . I am scared to say anything to DR because I don't want her to be on all kinds of medication IDK what to do I wonder if it is just her period making her like this or it is something else please help me BUT NO JUDGMENT OR NEG COMMENTS I am already hurting so bad because my baby is

 

[Tilliepink]

Poor thing, so many things go through a girls body when she hits puberty that sometimes the emotions are truly all over the place. Does she do many activities with friends? Play and sports? If not then maybe she needs to get out there talk with some girls her age. I went through a funny time when I was about 12 (when I started my period) and it really helped to be able to focus my frustrations (emotions) on something specific, like sports, dance, art Ect. I know you said you didn't want to take her to see a doctor but if you feel it's in her best interest to speak to someone, do that but make it clear that you do not want her on medications. I agree drs these days are too quick to prescribe children medication, and often times they don't even need it. Best of luck!

 

[hellohefalump]

In my experience (I look after my sister who has mental health problems) doctors try to not prescribe meds to children, as long as they can help it.

I suffer from severe depression and I have done since I was twelve. I never got any help for it, and attempted suicide aged 15, 16 and 17 because it all got so bad. When I was 17 I was in hospital for 7 months in a mental hospital and then spent a year and a half in an eating disorder unit as a daypatient. throughout secondary school I used to have a lot of time off school pretending to be sick because I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. To be honest I wish they'd put me on meds sooner (I started taking them age 17) because they have made my depression manageable and it doesn't take over my life so much anymore.

I think you should take your daughter to see a doctor before the situation escalates. I think it's highly unlikely they will try to force meds on her. Much more likely they will just do a referal to CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health sevice) and she should be offered councelling.

Councelling is really good if the problem has only just started. They do stuff like tell you techniques to make yourself feel better and challenge your negative thoughts.

 

[jennyxx]

As suggested above go see the doc's they know best, even go alone to talk to the doctor before taking your daughter for some proffesional advice?

I am sure she will be fine and its just her hormones are all over the place as she is young to start her period and is having trouble handling the hole thing (we all knows its horrible at first), is she being bullied at school? Have you thought about getting her a pamper day for Christmas e.g. get her nails,hair and toes done and even makeup if you agree with it at that age...maybe that could help

 

[louisiana]

As suggested above go see the doc's they know best, even go alone to talk to the doctor before taking your daughter for some proffesional advice?

I am sure she will be fine and its just her hormones are all over the place as she is young to start her period and is having trouble handling the hole thing (we all knows its horrible at first), is she being bullied at school? Have you thought about getting her a pamper day for Christmas e.g. get her nails,hair and toes done and even makeup if you agree with it at that age...maybe that could help

i have to say i dont agree with ^^ but only because i remember my mum just saying to me-oh u need to start wearing makeup ur a girl.i am now 30 and i still remember her telling me this and that made me feel awful and that i wasnt pretty enough.

hormones are hellish and its really hard starting ur period at 11.do u sit and have proper conversations with her?its good that she is telling u how she feels so its worth keeping those lines of communication open.and id u decide to make a drs appoint dont just spring it on her discuss it with her first.

 

[jennyxx]

As suggested above go see the doc's they know best, even go alone to talk to the doctor before taking your daughter for some proffesional advice?

I am sure she will be fine and its just her hormones are all over the place as she is young to start her period and is having trouble handling the hole thing (we all knows its horrible at first), is she being bullied at school? Have you thought about getting her a pamper day for Christmas e.g. get her nails,hair and toes done and even makeup if you agree with it at that age...maybe that could help

i have to say i dont agree with ^^ but only because i remember my mum just saying to me-oh u need to start wearing makeup ur a girl.i am now 30 and i still remember her telling me this and that made me feel awful and that i wasnt pretty enough.

no no I didn't mean it like that at all, she may be a girly girl or she may not and for me personally make-up at that age is not acceptable but I just thought a pamper day might make her feel special

 

[Novabomb]

I understood what you meant I always felt better about my self when I had a little makeup on and if I had a day to pamper myself. I think that is the great thing about being a girl We can always find a reason to have a girls day out . But don't tell my DH my secrets because I have convinced him over 7 times this year that I needed to go to the spa

 

[MaskedKitteh]

Please take her to the dr. O developed depression at the age of 10 and began to cut myself at 11. It went unnoticed for 5 years and I didn't stop for 7 years.

They're very reluctant to perscribe meds to children but some talking treatment might help. It can't be easy for you, but you should take solice in the fact she trust you enough to say that to you. My mother accidentaly caught me when I was 16, but was oblivious before that. Pm me if you want to chat to someone who's been in your daugters place.

Love and luck to you both, stay strong

 

[SerenityNow]

Maybe ask her if she would like to see a Dr.
I think that by deciding yourself that she should see one you may send her the message that her feelings aren't normal. I have an 11 year old daughter and I teach middle school and (as you've probably noticed) the last thing kids this age want is to be "different". They are going through so many changes and they can feel so insecure.

11 is a really hard age. In my 6th grade classes and with my daughter's friends there is such a range of physical development. I think that pretty much every girls looks at her friends and feels like she's too (fill in the blank).

I can't really tell from your post if your daughter is really at a point where she's at risk of serious depression or if she is just having more intense but still typical adolescent feelings. If you are scared for her then don't hesitate to take her to see a Dr. You can tell them that you want to explore other treatments before medicating her and they should respect that.

 

[amotherslove]

i too would suggest taking her to see a doc or a psychologist.. they will often ASK if you want to be medicated.. i chose to go on medication for a year which helped me to gain perspective and power over my depression.. my depression is not gone but it is manageable.. and it seems as though she may be struggling with the beginning stages of anorexia.. and that is something you really should nip in the bud.. i wish you (and your daughter) the best

 

[tearDrops]

I'm sorry to hear this. It must be hard to feel so helpless in helping our daughter. I think this is a typical issue of puberty. A lot of teens usually feel down because they have low self-esteem and confidence. What you can do is to assure her that she is beautiful or just compliment her everyday. This could help boost that confidence back up. You could send her to activities or camps that could help her boost her self-esteem. I'm sure there are a lot available that provides this kind of issues. But whatever it is, just always be there for your kid. Any support can go a long way.

 

[suzib76]

i think it is absolutely normal puberty tbh, not depression

when she tells you she feels depressed she probably doesnt mean actual depression, i used to say it all the time, in fact i still do, many people do, when they are just a bit down

 

[Phantom]

This made me so sad to read. When I was 10 I started my period and I became depressed and developped anorexia. I still struggle to this day. I wish I had someone notice though, like you are noticing. Keep telling her she is amazing and continue to do "kid" things with her. Growing up is hard and even though most girls don't admit it, it is scary becoming a woman. At 11, she's still a child and I know how she feels because it happened to me. I am not saying you should be concerned because she is likely going to be just fine. You noticed, and that is great!

 

[alaskagrown]

I started my period at 10. I was 5'3" and 115 lbs....very developed, and I attended a school where 98% of the students were petite Asians. I was made fun of a lot, became depressed, and eventually developed a serious eating disorder which required 1.5 years of residential inpatient treatment to help fix.

I'd recommend she at least see a counselor.