12 Months Trying, Need Some Support

[Wyomimi]

Hi ladies,

This is my first time posting (even though I have been trolling the forum for a few months now). My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the last year with no success. We are starting the process of determining if there are any infertility issues. I just went to get my hormone levels checked, and my husband will be making a male "donation" in the next couple of weeks.

Honestly, I am extremely scared something is going to be wrong, and I need a little support from you guys! It's impossible to talk to my friends about this because most of them are either pregnant or have kids. Two of which just got pregnant during their first month of trying. I mean, come on!

How does everyone else TTC cope with friends and family having babies when you have no success? I can't avoid babies forever!

-Michelle

 

[MsShona]

I just want to give you some . I've also been TTC for about a year. A long year of perfectly timed BD, and temping, and OPK kits! I totally hear what you are saying in regards to avoiding babies. I feel like I could deal with it better if I had at least one child. G-d knows, that's all I'm asking for at this point!

to us both!

 

[cazfay]

Just wanted to wish you luck with all your tests. It is scary, after a year of trying we went through the same thing. I was diagnosed with PCOS and have just finished 5 cycles of clomid. All I can say is, take each test, each month as it comes, and you will be fine, chances are the Doctors can help you. Baby dust wishes!!

 

[Myshelsong]

Hey ladies, I know how you feel the start of fertility discussions and Dr appointments can be absolutely frightening. You have all these worst case sceneries in you're head like maybe it is cancer maybe I don't actually have a uterus and every thing else under the sun.
Trust me it is going to be ok, it is totally normal to feel this way. Three of my friend got pregnant the first cycle trying, one us in her second, one is trying again for number 2. It is heartbreaking but you push through it.

I can't say this journey is easy, I only hope for you that you get your bfp soon!

 

[ces2008]

Its def hard! Alot of people around me have been getting pregnant, most without trying. Ive been TTC 21, almost 22 months. Ive been diagnosed with "Unexplained Female Infertilty". Sometimes, I wish there was something they could find wrong. Not knowing why Im not getting pregnant hurts. I just started my 5th cycle of Clomid. Im allowed one more cycle on it if this doesnt work. If after 6 Im still not pregnant, Ill have another Ultrasound and start Letrozole. Good luck! Fingers crossed we all get our BFPs soon!

 

[Ruskiegirl]

Sorry your feeling so down . The one thing I can tell you is to never give up hope . I have been trying for almost 13 years now and whenever friends or family get pregnant , I do get sad but I look forward to the day I will be blessed with my forever number 3

 

[susan_1981]

We started trying back in August 2008, pregnant by the October but had a miscarriage. It then took 3 years from that to fall pregnant with my son. We had every test there was done, I had a lap and dye, hsg, blood tests, internal scans and nothing wrong with me. My husband's sperm count was slightly lower than is ideal but people with much lower counts seem to fall pregnant so it was really tough.

I got to a stage, I think relatively early - maybe 6 months after my miscarriage - where I would cry every time my period arrived or if a friend announced they were pregnant. It was an awful time but then I just got over it. That's not say that we stopped trying or I stopped thinking about it. I thought about it constantly but it no longer bothered me if someone else was pregnant because I didn't want their baby, I just wanted my own. And I also focused on the good stuff in my life that a lot of people don't have, like a lovely husband and home, a good job, etc. That kind of stuff. It just became my life that I wouldn't have a baby if that makes sense, something that happens to others but not me.

Then we were due to start IVF in or around the beginning of 2012 but I fell pregnant in November 2011 with our son. I have no idea why it happened, we didn't do anything differently that cycle except maybe had more sex and we also used pre-seed. So perhaps that helped because we certainly didn't relax knowing we had IVF coming up. If anything, I think it made us try harder.

But I think as time goes on, you do get used to it and you do accept it. Or for me, that's the way it was anyway. Good luck with all your tests. Hopefully if they do find anything, it's not anything they can't fix and you can be on your way to being pregnant. And just think it is possible for you to fall pregnant. I went 3 whole years, trying every single month (and my cycles are very regular and I ovulate on every one), never missing ovulation and it took that long. And I'm now pregnant again after just one month trying. I hope it's the same for you. Good luck xxx

 

[Chcltbnny]

You post seemed as if you were reading my mind. It resonated with me.

I have been trying for 2 years and nothing. I am the Queen of brave faces as I sit through and plan more baby showers than I even want to remember in the past two years. Or hear about some woman or "child," that has no business having a child, falling pregnant just by sneezing.

I have to have faith that it will happen for me, - a full pregnancy where I get to hear my child's heartbeat and feel my child kick. Just once I would love to say aloud "Come On!" when someone tells me that they are pregnant. Or actually tell some one "Shut Up" when they tell me how hard it is with a child. Try seeing how hard it is to not be able to have one and then talk to me.

There that is my PMS rant as AF turns the corner to come and visit me this weekend. Thanks for letting me unload ladies!

Choc

 

[herewego3]

Hope everything comes back ok for you!! I just went for my first set of blood tests today, as we have been trying for 14 months with no luck. Waiting for the results is nerve racking!!

 

[ruthie30]

I feel your pain! I'm in exactly the same position as you. We've been trying a year now with no luck
We decided to see the doctor and have both just had tests. I had the blood test, my husband had a semen analysis. Both came back normal, which I suppose is good and we are relieved but I feel so frustrated, not knowing why it's not happening!
We've been told to try for another six months then go back if still nothing.

I too have two best friends who both have two children and concieved both times in the first month of trying! All of our friends have children and I am finding it really hard. As you say you feel so jealous and angry but at the same time i don't want to feel like that and don't want to be a bad friend.

Today is a particularly bad day as my period has just come
Let's support each other and hope it happens soon!!

 

[River54]

We have also been trying for over a year without success. After a year, we made an appt for a fs, and we'll be seeing them in just over 2 weeks time to get started on tests and see what is going on. (We got the appt 6 months ago... and have never gotten a hint of a bfp)

DH is worried it is him, I am worried that something is up with me, etc etc. I am just trying to relax and maybe even get a bfp right before the appt... We are just hoping to get some answers, and then have a plan to get that bfp!

We haven't told any family we are ttc. My mum drops the hint occasionally, and I try to ignore it. My brother even asks me sometimes when we are going to have one...At work, soo many have had babies in this past 2 years, and I try not to think about the what ifs...I think going to the baby showers is the worst. You are happy for them, but secretly in anguish.

I started making some stuff for our baby to be when we first started ttc (I like to knit at night), thinking it wouldn't take too long. It now just sits there, ready and waiting. And I still have in mind new projects I'd like to do...just gives me more time to work on them

I am very glad there are these forums, and though I probably don't post too much, reading others stories and comments really does help to know that we aren't alone.

 

[Molae06]

I hope you get some answers soon! I was scared before I had my first apt too because I was deathly afraid something was wrong. For me it was actually more comforting to find out something was wrong and know what it is. My heart breaks for the many ladies with "unexplained infertility" because they just do not get to know what is wrong. Anyway, just wanted to say I hope you get some answers (and a BFP!) soon.

 

[Wyomimi]

Just once I would love to say aloud "Come On!" when someone tells me that they are pregnant. Or actually tell some one "Shut Up" when they tell me how hard it is with a child

I feel exactly the same way. I actually have gotten to the point where I watch to see if my girl friends drink alcohol so I can predict if a pregnancy announcement is on its way. Don't know if I can deal with another friend/relative getting pregnant before me. Come on!