13 month old whines/cries all day relentlessly

[xZoeyx]

I just don't know how to get through another day like this.

My little one has always been a "high needs" baby, very easily bored etc. he started too improve about 11 months old for about 3-4 weeks and now we are back at square one and I'm just not coping.

He literally whines all day relentlessly for absolutely no reason. It's not teething or illness, it's just him. I have tried EVERYTHING to too help the situation, I'm actually writing this as I sit at soft play that was a 40 minute drive too and he's whinging.

He whines when he falls over (onto his bum or hands in ways that don't hurt him), he whines when I pick him up, whines when I put him down, it really is non stop. I take him out every single day, I've spent one too one time with him, I've tried ignoring him, reprimanding him with a firm No, and tried comforting him but nothing works. He cries in the car if he is awake, cries when in the high chair too. He is basically impossible too please.

I needed to vent but I guess my main reason for posting is too ask does anyone else suffer with this type of baby and if so how do you get through the day?

I need to be at home because I have so much to do but I just can't bare it. I hVe started paying people to have him most days because I can't face another day like it. I was just starting to get over my PND, and now I feel like I'm going through it all again :,(

 

[KAH1990]

Although my little one was never a high needs baby - when he turned 1 I noticed that he was doing the exact same thing. I couldn't figure out why my happy little boy had suddenly turned into this whiney, clingy baby. I realised that when I moved him over to cows milk that this started to happen, so on a whim moved him back onto formula and after a few days he was back to his happy self - and now at 19 months he is on soy milk. So I think he was just suffering with a bad stomach and it was the only way he could vent.

Now I'm not saying your lo may be going through the same thing just wanted to share my experience. Also to add when my lo started walking he was even more content, he was so frustrated in that in between phase.

 

[xZoeyx]

Jacob is also walking but this hasn't helped out atall. He is on cows milk but I'm worried about going back to formula as I really can't afford it at the moment, going through hell at the moment with money. I am going to phone the doctor and discuss my concerns and go from there. I don't think it's the milk because with other people he is apparently happy and laughing all the time? So it must just be me :,(

 

[snickersbar]

I wrote a similar post a couple of weeks ago although my lo is only seven months.

It is emotionally, physically and mentally draining when your baby spends all day, every day, whining.

Like the previous poster i have noticed that there is generally something wrong when she whines like this (she has dairy and wheat issues plus bad eczema) but I'm not always able to fix the problem and then just have to muddle through the day as best i can. Today has been one of those days and i just want to cry. Can't wait til her bedtime. Its such a shame as I'm wishing the days away.

X

 

[xZoeyx]

Bit dissapointed with the lack of support on such a big forum....


Thanks Snickers - I am certain it's not something wrong as such. Obviously he is not hall for some reason or another but it's not one thing in particular, he has always had a reputation for being a grumpy baby! He is also very short tempered and now hits me when he can't get his own way.
It really is draining, you wouldn't realise how much just a noise can affect you until you have a baby!

 

[Linnypops]

Zoey - there's a Facebook support group for high needs babies which is private. It's very active with about 900 members so you'll get a lot of support there. I'll pm you details on how to join x

 

[snickersbar]

Linnypops, could i get the details too?

Tia

X

 

[snickersbar]

Zoey, mine is also fond of smacking me and gets very cross when i prevent her from doing so, but i get very cross when she does, so we're at a bit of an impasse.

I have to say, i may be giving her the benefit of the doubt by saying there's something wrong, maybe she's just a miserable cow

I think until you've dealt with a baby like this it's impossible to truly understand how horrible it is. Hopefully it's just frustration and when they get old enough to do what they want, or vocalise their needs, they'll be happier calmer babies.

 

[xZoeyx]

Zoey, mine is also fond of smacking me and gets very cross when i prevent her from doing so, but i get very cross when she does, so we're at a bit of an impasse.

I have to say, i may be giving her the benefit of the doubt by saying there's something wrong, maybe she's just a miserable cow

I think until you've dealt with a baby like this it's impossible to truly understand how horrible it is. Hopefully it's just frustration and when they get old enough to do what they want, or vocalise their needs, they'll be happier calmer babies.

That's the best reply I've seen in a while as it nails my thoughts and feelings down too a tee. It really is so hard!

 

[snickersbar]

Just a thought re your remark that Jacob is happy and laughing with others, my lg is the same but dh said he thinks it's more a case of others distracting her from whatever the issue of the day is and so it takes her mind off illness/grumpiness/etc. Babies know that they can let their emotions out with their mummies as they trust us, and while that is absolutely no consolation when you're dealing with the fallout it is sweet and touching to consider once they've gone to bed.

X

 

[snickersbar]

Just wondering how you were doing? Hope you've had a good week and Jacobs been chilled.

X

 

[MindUtopia]

I was just reading through this and I'm actually wondering how you are feeling? From what you are writing, it sounds like you are stressed and exhausted and feeling at the end of your tether a bit. I don't mean this to sound the wrong way (so please don't take it like that), but I find that when I feel like this, my daughter also acts very much like this. It's helped me realise that actually if I can sort myself out a bit and do whatever I need to do to feel a bit more calm, relaxed, happy and in control, then it helps her tremendously. I'm not saying that actually to be like, oh, it's all your fault that he's acting like this! What I mean is actually sometimes it's a lot easier to work on ourselves and meet our own needs for sanity and well-being than it is to figure out what the heck a toddler needs.

So like you said that you've been having someone watch him during the day so you can have a break. That's great. Can you use that time to do something that is relaxing and re-charges you so you feel like you can come back to parenting fresh again and able to better deal with the stressful bits later in the day? What's relaxing for you? Does a nap help? Exercise? Reading? Seeing friends? In my case, my daughter is in nursery part-time while I work and I find it so, so refreshing. I don't know that I could be at home with her all day every day without losing my mind. But working gives me just enough me-time that when I pick her up at 5pm everyday, I feel re-charged and ready to go again until I get a break again the next day.

Sometimes I find just getting out during the day and doing something I enjoy helps a lot. It doesn't have to be something you drive far to (we live like 30 minutes from any town, so everything is kinda far!), but I really feel relaxed by being outside and taking a walk. When my nerves are shot, I put her in the pushchair and we walk for an hour. She often sleeps eventually (good for her to get her nap in) and I get some quiet time to think and relax.

Also, do you have any family or friends or your partner around who could give you a break when you need it? Could you have a night out (not like a big night out, like dinner with friends or a date night) just to get a break from things? Could you have someone take him on the weekend so you can go do something you enjoy for a day? You may find just building in these little breaks helps make it all easier to cope with. I think that age is a tough age. I felt like I didn't quite know what to do for my daughter and she had all these needs and I wasn't totally confident I was meeting them or understanding why she was getting upset or if she was bored or if she wanted my attention, etc. As she got older and could verbalise it, it has gotten a lot easier. So I would maybe just find a way to help yourself feel more ready to cope with it all until things get a bit easier.

When I'm able to do all these things and reduce my own stress and anxiety, my daughter magically is so much easier to deal with. I think they really pick up a lot on how we're feeling. If I'm stressed, I can only imagine she feels it too and gets whingy because the whole situation just becomes stressful. So thinking about it this way has helped me a lot.

 

[Unlucky41]

Zoey just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. From three weeks onwards my little one had bad reflux and couldn't sleep. Even with medicine in the day time she could only sleep on me. As soon as I put her down that was it screaming her lungs out. Now at almost 9 months she hasn't changed much still naps on me but he night sleep is a bit better because we let her cry. After two and a half months of night training your think she gets it but she will only sleep once she is really tire! 4am she is up no matter what time she sleeps so life is tough. She will sit in her high chair for a little while and screams in the stroller. So I hardly go out much no more walks or shopping time. If I go out it is to me meet friends for lunch then go home. Life isn't fun at all. At home she is ok but it gets so boring and miserable.

She is ok in the carrier bur my back is not ok at all. The latest improvement is that she is accepting her dad more so I can have a bit more rest.

I thought I would enjoy my mat leave heaps more but unfortunately I am looking forward to returning to work.

 

[Phantom]

Have you ever heard of the Wonder weeks? It sounds like your baby is going through the normal fussy period my baby is in now as well. It happens around 12 months and lasts for several weeks. Theres an app if you can download it. I really recommend it.