13yr old lying and stealing...what to do!?!?

[1stimemomma]

My mom and 1 3yr old brother just moved 2,000 miles to stay with me and my oh as I am 3 9weeks pregnant. It's really nice having my mom here for her support but my brother has always had a big problem with stealing and lying about it. Especially mo ney. They came to visit last summer and he stole OH's brother's WHOLE wallet and denied it the whole month he was here. Then he got back home and confessed to my mom. Now that he's been here this time we've already had already 30 dollars missing from our savings pot which is hidden in my closet in our room. He even got into my mom's purse one night and stole 25 of her money. He is grounded for that right now but my mom allows him to go house to house around the neighborhood asking if anyone has work for him. Well sure enough, after having house to himself yesterday I again have money missing and he made money working. When I confronted him about the missing money he Denise it and gets angry and says he works for his money. Know I know he may have made some because he had more than what was missing but I cant get him to fess up and I done know how to PROVE that he did it even though I know. I'm fixing to have this baby due to th stress of my disrespectful little bro. Ive been trying to keep my cool with him and have nice talks about it but its vetting to the point to where I done even like to see his face anymore and i HATE that!! My mom done know what to do with him and this is our home and it's time for change! Any suggestions please!?!?!???

 

[Vonnie18]

Are they staying with you permanently or did they just move near you? Sorry hun but it's your and oh's house so you have to lay down the law so to speak!
What does your oh think of all this? X

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'd ask him who he worked for and go to their house, ask how much he was paid. That way you'll know whether he stole from you.
If he is going to leave you unable to trust him I'd make sure he is supervised at all times- get friends/family to babysit if you an and make sure he knows that as well as paying you back any money he takes he also has to earn back the trust he's lost.
I'd also get someone to speak to him about WHY he is stealing. maybe your OH, guy to guy?

 

[almostXmagic]

i dont know where you live but here in the states some police stations have programs for minors where they will take them in and show them what its like to be arrested and have them talk to some of the prisoners. just kind of open their eyes to what could happen if they continue down the path they are on. maybe you could look into something like that for him?

 

[Tassiegal]

I would definitely go with what almostXmagic said. I know here in Australia that there are some very community minded police officers that dont mind having a chat with problem children. If it wasnt for one of them, who knows what my daughter would be like now! (She is also 13)
I think a very firm hand is needed though, personally i would get your OH to confront him about it - sometimes it takes them being talked to by a male 'father figure' to get them to stop this sort of thing. I know my daughter has been much better behaved since her father has been back in her life disciplining her.

Not sure how much help i have been - but good luck with it! I hope you manage to sort it out, the stress isnt good for you or the baby