16 weeks and feeling overwhelmed, stressed :(

[PeachSalsa]

This will be baby #2 for me and my husband - I am almost 33 and he is almost 36. Before I got pregnant I thought I had this figured out thinking my son will be 5 and in school, I can take about a year off from work so it won't be so bad. But shortly after I started feeling very stressed out and overwhelmed at the thought of caring for 2 kids. I was exhausted and nauseous in the first trimester and feeling overwhelmed that entire time so I thought once I get my energy back in the 2nd trimester, these worries will go away. Well I'm almost 16 weeks and even though I got some of my energy back, I still worry all the time that I will be a horrible mom to 2, not being able to take care of them and deal with life with 2 kids. Is this normal?

I never felt this way with my first pregnancy - I was happy and feeling good the entire time, excited for baby to arrive. Possibly because I didn't know what taking care of a newborn was like... My son was a very difficult baby and toddler - he had colic for a couple months, didn't sleep through the night until almost 3 years old and to this day is extremely clingy to mommy. I guess I am expecting the same with the 2nd and am worried... I don't know how to stop - I know stress isnt good while pregnant but I just can't get happy!

 

[Jennifurball]

Hi,

Yes I feel the same. I am on my own so panicking financially more than anything, dad is a good for nothing who wont provide so its down to me. I am knackered tho, finding it hard with a 4yo too and working. I am also taking a year off and panicking about having to be in different places once I return to work. It will work out though I am sure. Try to take one day at a time. x

 

[PeachSalsa]

Jennifurball, I am sorry about the baby's dad not being supportive. It's good to know there are others who feel similar. Although I have support (husband, mother in law may help some), I know that the care is mostly on mom especially in the early months, years. Guess maybe I should stop focusing on the 1-3 years after birth and look more long term to when they start helping mommy! One can dream...

 

[SleepyBaby]

Worrng about the future when pregnant is normal, from "how will i love the next kid as much as i love the first?" , "how am i going to afford this?" " will i be any good at it?"

Hormones through us into super paranoid worry bags, my own personal one is "how is any of this making sense? where will baby fit in?"

truth is, it will work because we want it to, we will love our new babies same as we do the kids we have, we will have the energy as we wont have much of a choice when the time comes and more than that we will want to make the energy even if we are drained!

its still terrifing at times though!

 

[Rymel12]

I feel very similar. Had a really rough first trimester and thought second would be a little more kind to me. I still don't feel very energetic, have headaches 5/7 days of the week and the anxiety of soon being a mom of two is eating away at me. It's not even a financial thing it's a me thing, like can I handle it. I feel like my patience has been really short with my daughter lately. Today at 2.5 years old she told me "I don't like you mommy" which totally broke my heart. I know she's 2.5 and she says all kinds of things she doesn't really mean but I can't help but feel like I'm having a hard time handling one nevermind two. I had zero anxiety when pregnant with my daughter so this is a little surprising for me too. I totally feel your pain. Hang in there. Hopefully this is evil pregnancy hormones trying to have their way with us and we will get through this.

 

[Jennifurball]

I was also alone with my daughter and some times felt so isolated and down, as amazing and beautiful as she is, it is hard whether you have a partner or not, but we are so close and she is so loving and I do feel I have got something back for my hard work. That's the only thing keeping me going, knowing I did a fab job with my daughter, and that I can do it again.

I do also worry though that I won't love my son as much, how can I? I have been so close to my girl for over 4 years. But I know this is irrational. I have also been sat here worrying this week that I have done a terrible thing thinking I can do it again. Hormones do have a lot to answer for. x

 

[2have4kids]

It sounds like your first child was a handful with colic etc. It's probably as bad as it gets. Our first was extremely easy. 2 feeds/night and the only worry was thrush and diaper rash because her immune system was not developed yet. So we fed her probiotics and had her on a mix of formula & bf and she pulled through beautifully. So now twins are on the way. She's almost 1 and loves her independance in her new found legs (started walking last week). I hope your next baby is as easy as ours was. Have faith, things will work out!