17 month age gap? Am I nuts?

[ashleyg]

I posted about my DH and I possibly thinking about starting to TTC for #2 when our daughter was around 10 months. However, baby fever got to me and we talked about it and decided to try this month

So IF we do end up conceiving this cycle/month then they will have a 17 month gap.

Am I crazy? I have always wanted our kids to be close in age but at the same time I'm a little nervous about it! A lot of people I've talked to about it absolutely love this gap...but I won't know until I try it out I guess!

Please tell me good things about this gap! Positive stories would be helpful lol

 

[mummytobe_93]

I posted about my DH and I possibly thinking about starting to TTC for #2 when our daughter was around 10 months. However, baby fever got to me and we talked about it and decided to try this month

So IF we do end up conceiving this cycle/month then they will have a 17 month gap.

Am I crazy? I have always wanted our kids to be close in age but at the same time I'm a little nervous about it! A lot of people I've talked to about it absolutely love this gap...but I won't know until I try it out I guess!

Please tell me good things about this gap! Positive stories would be helpful lol

I don't think you're crazy at all. I know a lot of people who have 11 month age gaps!

I have a 17 month old and am nearly 29 weeks pregnant so will have a 10-20 month age gap depending when baby arrives. I'm really excited for it although baby number 2 was unplanned.

However all I can say is, it depends on your first child's personality. People think the baby stage is the hardest I personally think a 100% it isn't. The baby stage is the easiest. Toddler hood is the hardest!!
Having a toddler that runs around, hurts herself constantly, has tantrums all the time, is too young to obey certain orders and doesn't get the word 'no' is very frustrating for any mum but I imagine definitely frustrating for a mum with a new baby.

I already know having s toddler and a baby is going to be harder than I can imagine. I am looking forward to it but I also worry about toddler feeling left out or baby feeling left out and just feeling like I generally can't split my time up enough. My toddler takes up every second of my time at the moment and I feel like I'm constantly shouting at her and saying no don't do that etc. It's fristrating. I find this age incredibly frustrating because they are just too young to understand how to behave but they are big and strong and do what they want. Being pregnant with a toddler is also hard because of how heavy handed she is.

I think a smaller age gap when baby is hardly walking would have been easier or a bigger she gap when baby is talking more. But I guess this is what the world had planned for us like I said it definitely depends on both your first and second child's personality on determining how 'Easy' it is going to be x

 

[ashleyg]

Thank you for your response!

I think what made us want to try earlier is because she's been such an easier baby to handle lately (I've probably jinxed myself now that I said that though lol). She's been sleeping SO much better, usually only waking once a night MAYBE twice, depending. She's usually pretty happy and content as long as she is entertained, fed, and not super tired.

I absolutely adored being pregnant and I LOVED the baby stage as well. I really miss the newborn stage to be exact, haha. I know having two under 2yrs will be hard, but I hope it's not TOO hard and I'm miserable. I want to be able to enjoy having two babies! I also hope that my pregnancy this time goes as smoothly as it did with my daughter. I really only got sick a few times in the first trimester. I just hope it's just as smooth this time around since I will have a toddle to chase after now!

 

[Cattia]

I have a 16 month age gap between my older two and it's great, they are best of friends and they really entertain one another. When my DS was little it was hard at first as he had reflux and was a demanding baby. However my DD really wasn't old enough to get jealous of him. The other time I found hard was when DS started to get mobile and I was running around after two kids while my friends just had one or had a toddler and a newborn, so for a while I found it hard to join in the same activities they were doing as it would just be too stressful for me. Now though, it's great and wouldn't change it.

 

[Larkspur]

My gap is 19 months and I love it (would have been happy with any gap from 15 months).

I am one who does not love the baby stage and my second baby was really clingy so I had to wear her for every nap up to around five months of age. That was tough. But she is incredibly secure and independent now, and the two kids are starting to play together really well.

I agree with the PP who said its good because they don't really get jealous at that age. My oldest doesn't remember a time before my littlest was born, but he was old enough at the time to more or less understand what was going on.

 

[Dolly84]

My age gap with ds and dd is 19 months and I love it. Ds would rub my belly and say baby, and at this age I only had to lift him for nappy changes and nap times, which helped loads with my bad back and my huge preggo belly (dd was 10lb 4oz)! I must admit when we brought her home it took him about 3 days to adjust (when I was holding her he woulnt come near me) luckily dd is such a chilled out baby that once she is fed, she falls back to sleep for 3 hrs so gives me chance to play with ds and do chores too. Dd is 4 weeks old today and I must admit ive found it easier having 2 at this age than what I imagined. I think it definatly depends on what type of personality and temperament your children have. I'm just really lucky that I have great eaters and sleepers, even now dd must know when night time is because she's doing 7hrs at night(11pm-6am) and I suppose it makes it better not being sleep deprived xxx, good luck xxx

 

[ashleyg]

Thanks so much ladies!

I was just talking to my husband about this and mentioned to him that at least she won't be jealous when the baby is here! My brother and I are almost exactly 3 yrs apart and I remember my mom telling me that when she brought my brother home from the hospital I was so jealous lol. So I'm glad that I most likely wont have to deal with that.

Thanks so much for all the positivity! Sometimes I think I'm nuts for wanting this haha

 

[chicky160]

I have a couple of extra months on there but there are 21 and a bit months between my two. Ds2 is only 3 weeks old so still at the feed/sleep stage, toddler is hitting terrible 2's and honestly I'm not finding it anywhere as near as hard as I anticipated! The only bits I do personally find hard are trying to get ds1's dinner sorted when baby wants to cluster feed, bath times are a juggle, but aside from that it's good so far! I hasten to add that my eldest really isn't keen on his new baby brother which surprised me! And for a good week or so I had horrid mummy guilt because I couldn't be with my toddler all the time like we are both used to, he was a little off for a few days but soon got back to normal. I'm finding the sleep deprivation isn't as bad second time round either even with a toddler to chase all day and no time for naps go for it! You'll love it in sure

 

[Kalabear]

I'm a month into a 15 month age gap between my two boys. It is going well! I'm not going to lie...we have our moments and days that feel never ending but every day gets easier! It is so fun watching our oldest with our youngest. Right now the most challenging part is going out in public with two little ones but I remember going through this with my first so I know I will adjust.
I don't think you're crazy! I already am excited for our next baby haha!!

 

[ashleyg]

Reading these comments are making me more excited! DH and I officially started trying this cycle so I'm in it for the long haul now, lol! I know I will have to adjust going from one to two little ones, I just hope it's manageable! I'm so excited to be expanding our family! I think I'm most nervous about pregnancy and dealing with a toddler. My first pregnancy was super easy (excluding the first trimester where I felt tired all the time!) I am just hoping it will go smoothly this time around too.

 

[Googiepie]

My girls are 18 months apart. Little one is only a month old but so far, we're doing good. I'm not gonna lie there are some days that are tough. Im a single mom so i can gt overwhelmed sometimes but honestly its so worth. I love seeing my toddler "talk" to the baby. I like the fact that they will always have a playmate. There are pros and cons to every age gap.

 

[ashleyg]

Thank you Googlepie! A lot of other ladies have told me that the first month or so is difficult because you're getting used to two babies. I'm looking forward to seeing my DD as a big sister

 

[justplay91]

As someone who is currently "enjoying" the horrors of the first trimester with a nine month old, I can say so far I still don't regret the timing! It's been hard, because I'm so tired and sometimes I wonder how I'm going to get through the day with my now-crawling-and-cruising baby (who is throwing full on tantrums and is starting to seem more like a moody toddler than a sweet baby). That said, I definitely still feel like the long-term rewards of this age gap (we'll have about 15.5 months between them) will much outweigh the hard parts. Ask me again in 6 months and we'll see what I say then! Haha. Best of luck!

 

[ashleyg]

As someone who is currently "enjoying" the horrors of the first trimester with a nine month old, I can say so far I still don't regret the timing! It's been hard, because I'm so tired and sometimes I wonder how I'm going to get through the day with my now-crawling-and-cruising baby (who is throwing full on tantrums and is starting to seem more like a moody toddler than a sweet baby). That said, I definitely still feel like the long-term rewards of this age gap (we'll have about 15.5 months between them) will much outweigh the hard parts. Ask me again in 6 months and we'll see what I say then! Haha. Best of luck!

Haha I'm sure you'll do great! Keep me updated!!

 

[stripeycat5]

I have a couple of extra months on there but there are 21 and a bit months between my two. Ds2 is only 3 weeks old so still at the feed/sleep stage, toddler is hitting terrible 2's and honestly I'm not finding it anywhere as near as hard as I anticipated! The only bits I do personally find hard are trying to get ds1's dinner sorted when baby wants to cluster feed, bath times are a juggle, but aside from that it's good so far! I hasten to add that my eldest really isn't keen on his new baby brother which surprised me! And for a good week or so I had horrid mummy guilt because I couldn't be with my toddler all the time like we are both used to, he was a little off for a few days but soon got back to normal. I'm finding the sleep deprivation isn't as bad second time round either even with a toddler to chase all day and no time for naps go for it! You'll love it in sure

This - evenings are definitely the hardest trying to get the boy to bed whilst DD wants to cluster feed. Nighttime has been surprisingly ok and DS hasn't woken up when she has cried in the night. He isn't that interested in her yet but there isn't really any jealousy either. We just make sure that people make a fuss of the older one as much as possible but having them so close in age will ensure that DS won't ever really remember not having a sister which is lovely.

Pregnancy is a bit difficult - we are lucky as DS is a very good sleeper but you will feel tired and it will be a different experience from your first pregnancy! It goes super quick and all the things you worried about first time round will be inconsequential this time round!

Good luck x

 

[MumToEva]

I have a 17 month age gap between my 2, and I've never regretted it in the slightest. The harder part for me was being pregnant with a toddler - what with her not sleeping through the night until she was 16 months and me working 4 days a week, I found that side of things hard enough, but once DS arrived i was fine. You know what you are doing second time round, so you hit the ground running rather than having to learn every little thing like you do 1st time round. And because I hadn't been used to a full night's sleep right up till before he arrived, I coped so much better with less sleep that I did first time round too. But then I did have a difficult 1st baby and a much easier 2nd baby - might be different if it was the other way around.