18 month old won't stop breastfeeding and has never slept a full night..

[Em_S]

Hi ladies,
Just wondering if any of you could give me any tips or advice!

My daughter is 18 months old and has never slept very well on her own at night and always needs to be held to sleep. She wakes at least 6-7 times a night and has never slept more than 3 hours at one time. I'm so exhausted I want to stop breastfeeding but she won't go back to sleep without milk even after crying for long periods. I have tried giving no milk at all, water, cows milk or squash but she wont have it. She won't settle for my partner only me and crys hysterically if we attempt to put her in her cot awake. She did settle to sleep in there a while back for a few weeks after controlled crying but still woke up all night, she got a cold and all went out the window and now she refuses to go back in the cot. I honestly can't cope much more with her waking all night and it is affecting my uni work.

Thanks x

 

[Sealion24]

No advice I'm afraid but I am in exactly the same position . Toby who is 15 months has never slept more than 3 hours at night and can't self settle, we co sleep as it's the only way I can get any sleep as like your lo he is up at least 5 times a night to breast feed and it's the only thing that will settle him. He also refuses to take a bottle and although will have water from a sippy cup won't take milk so there is nothing else I can offer him in the night. We can't let him cry too much either or he wakes our 4 year old up. Hopefully someone will have some suggestions as I would love to stop breast feeding and have him sleep in his cot all night!

 

[AnneD]

Mine was a terrible sleeper from the word go, literally. Until about 2.5 years of age, we had on average 8 wake-ups a night, every night, would only sleep snuggled up, would only go to sleep or settle back to sleep on the breast. It was the same for naps as well. Never napped on her own, was really hard to get down. Apparently it started out this bad because of reflux (would breastfeed all day long, too, because of the pain). I have no solution for you really; I slept with my boobs out for the first three or so years, purely so that I got some sleep in order to be borderline functional at work. We are still bedsharing and breastfeeding with no end in sight (only settles to sleep on the breast, still wakes up occasionally at night, or randomly demands to breastfeed for comfort). Compared to when she was under 3, it's mostly a walk in the park now. I'm still waiting for the big day when she goes to sleep by herself and doesn't freak out if she wakes up and I'm not there. My mother says I was exactly the same when I was little, only she didn't breastfeed as long as I have.

 

[SarahBear]

OK, so I'm seeing two things here. First of all, 18 months is usually a tough time for sleep. So you're likely at the peak of a bad spell with sleep right now. If this is the case, I'd wait for things to settle down to "normal" before you make any big changes. Then, the other thing is, it's not bad for her to nurse at night, but if it's getting out of hand, you may consider night weaning. You mentioned trying different things, but with night weaning, you have to be consistent long enough for it to stick and it may be better to just hold her while she screams than to try to offer something else. She will eventually settle and after enough nights of screaming, it should settle out. I night weaned Violet when she was nearly two, I was pregnant with sore nipples, and she had a painfully lazy latch. Once she was night weaned, she started sleeping through the night for the first time. Now, your child sounds more extreme with her night nursing, so I can't promise she'll start sleeping through, but it should at least help.

 

[staralfur]

I did night weaning with my LO (she was a bit older, closer to 2.5) when her wake-ups were getting REALLY excessive and I was experiencing intense nursing aversion. It was very hard at first and we started cosleeping again but it was a huge relief once it was done.

I basically just patted her back and "shh"ed her until she finally calmed down. The first week or so she had epic meltdowns when I wouldn't give her the boob but then she slowly accepted being calmed by the patting/shhing. I stayed with her all night and repeated the process as many times as necessary. Once she fully got used to it her wakings did become less frequent, and when she did wake I found it a lot easier to soothe her that way than to tough it out through the nursing aversion.

We still had a really good nursing relationship during the day which was ideal because I didn't want to push her to stop entirely but the nights were just unbearable. So I would definitely recommend giving that a try if you've reached your breaking point.