19 and pregnant

[omgosh19]

Hi, I'm 19 years old and I recently found out that I'm pregnant. I was 10 days late for my period before I took a test and between the tentative conception date I have not drank alcohol or smoked any cigarettes (although I do use an e-cig).

I no longer live with my parents. My boyfriend of two years and I live together in a one bedroom apartment and we both work. I've only gone to college for a year, and I'm currently not in school (but I am trying to go back after I save up the money and my job offers benefits for schooling, health care, etc). My boyfriend has his associate's degree and is strongly considering going into the military. I am completely with him if he decides that path.

I haven't told my parents yet, I know they'd freak out. They told me that if I moved out, I'd get knocked up and go nowhere with my life. I don't know how to tell them. They also told me that they'd be completely non-supportive if I were to get pregnant.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't have any plans for the future yet, other than go back to school for my business degree when I have the money to and apply for management positions at the job I work currently.

We're not financially stable enough for a child, though both of us want one.

Can anyone give me any advice?

 

[Breeelizabeth]

I'm 19 and 23wks with my first. Our situations differ a bit but I'm a uni student and am definitely not financially stable. Ultimately what you do is up to you, but your parents might actually surprise you and be a great help, I know mine shocked me with how they reacted and they are so excited, happy and ready to meet their granddaughter. It may take a while to show them you're still going to do something with your life but when they realise that you're committed to bettering your life and that of your babies' it might make them that little bit more accepting. If you want to study, then look into it (Maybe you could even do this before telling them, and give them the news that you're planning to study first).
Feel free to PM me if you need to chat hun.
Good luck xx

 

[tinymumma]

Hey there, love. My name is Georgia, I'm 18 and expecting a baby boy. My situation is kind of similar to yours. I live out of home with my partner and although we get by, we aren't as financially stable as we want to be as my partner is the only one who works.
You could be surprised with your parents reaction. I knew my mother would be over the moon for me but my father and his side of the family actually startled me. I didn't end up telling them until I was almost 20 weeks (my mother knew as soon as I took the test). Everyone has been so supportive and has helped out with making sure we have everything we need.
Even if your parents do react badly, they will most likely make a 180° once they have some time for it to sink it. I think a lot of parents say what yours did as a scare tactic.
I don't know where you live but in Australia you can complete courses online. Try looking into this if you're not going to continue with collage full time It's awesome that you're working, every cent counts. Just remember to stick to your budgets and plan ahead xo Best of luck and wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months

 

[ClairAye]

I'm just picking out a few points here!

Getting pregnant young does not mean you will do nothing with your life. I had my second at 19 and I only realised what career path I wanted to follow after I had a child.

I'm sure your parents would come around if they are not supportive at first. My dad hardly spoke to me until the start of third tri, he and my son (and daughter) have an unbreakable bond and he loves being a grandad.

You'd be surprised at how many people aren't 100% financially stable too. Babies aren't cheap but there are lots of things you can do to make it cheaper, talking from experience.

Congratulations too, I'm Clair, 19 (20 next month) and I have a 2 year old son and 8 month old daughter

 

[vermeil]

Congratulations on the pregnancy! Please give some thought to adoption. Its the gift of a lifetime for another family and you can take your time to have children when you are both ready and stable

Good luck *hugs*

 

[MummyMana]

It sounds as if you're both going to do just fine it's never too late to go back and retrain, so maybe just postpone your business bland until your little one is in school if your partner goes into the military that should set you up well, although it will be tough with him being away if it comes to it.

You will make it work, even if it's tough and you have to scrimp by. You just do when you have children. Not making it work isn't an option.

Oh yeah, and as for your parents, it is completely beyond me why anyone would want to miss out in a grandchild. I can never understand how some people seem to think a baby is a bad thing?

 

[QuintinsMommy]

congrats on your pregnancy I had my first at 19, it was hard because I felt alone because I had very little friends who were/had children so I didn't have anyone to relate to, but thats why babyandbump is awesome. wish you all the luck

 

[MeaganMackenz]

Hey hun,

I know where you've been. My first popped up when I was 19 and had only been with her dad for a couple months. We both worked ft jobs at a gas bar but two months after we found out my now husband got a better paying job and we were able to afford a 2 bed. It was difficult, we had a lot of help. My mom was furious with me, we didn't speak for a couple months. She eventually came around, but it took awhile. While every text book said the relationship should have crumbled were now married for 5 years, purchased our second home two years ago and are expecting our third in may. My advice for you is this :

Work as much as you can while you can, unemployment insurance is vital.
Accept help, no matter what it is or from whom. You will need it. Talk to your parents. They may be unhappy, but they will come around. Most parents I think get over being angry when they realize you'll need their help and support and love. Be firm with them, tell them you're pregnant and you're scared but happy. Be united with your boyfriend in this conversation don't give them ANY reason to think he'll bail. Tell them you'd love to have them around and be great grandparents but you're prepared to go at it without them and that it will be their loss. Do NOT let them make you feel guilty, or bad or like you've failed or will fail. You won't.
Look for sales. Even if you're only half way to your due date, there is no shame in buying diapers or wipes or formula when they're on sale. Chances are you won't have the same luck of finding sales when the baby is here lol.
I wish you the best of luck. Xo

 

[Pens]

I am 19 and although I am very lucky to have such supportive parents and they both took it very well (which was completely unexpected, especially from my dad!)
Your parents might be mad and disappointed at first, but they will come round. And as for your future, there is no reason why you can't work/study whilst you're pregnant and continue once you've had the baby. Everything happens for a reason!
Congratulations and good luck

 

[hollybb]

Congratulations on your 1st baby! I'm a mother and yes your parents might freak out when you tell them about your pregnancy but believe me soon they'll learn to accept your the baby and the path you chose. It's already there, just focus on your pregnancy. Stay healthy and your baby!

 

[BabyCleo]

Your parents will come around!! I know its scary but try not to worry. You would be surprised the things you can do even on a low income. Trust me, ive been there!!

 

[DoodleDoo]

Congrats