2 questions, both totally different from one another!

[heaveneats]

hi girls, looking for some advice on two things!

1. Middle name, and last name- for middle name OH and i would like to call her Emma Rose(a name he chose) Theryn (a name i chose since its a combination of my mothers name and his). Now the issue is when i told my mom about how he chose the name Rose she flipped, saying that was the name of the women my father had an affair with (i had no idea) now that name to me is ruined BUT i still like it but i dont want it to be something bad for her. I've asked OH about changing it but he really likes the name Rose. I'm torn and i've heard some say how could i think about keeping the name, and some say it's our choice not my moms and she shouldn't pester to make us change it. The other issue is the last name, OH and I are not married therefore i have my last name and he has his, my mom AGAIN said she wants my last name included and will be livid if it's not. I suggested using a hyphenated name but OH hates it and wants the baby to have his last name, and honestly i rather her name not be long, and it will be with two middle names and two last names. Any advice?

2. second one!! i have dogs and cats and i'm so worried that the baby will be allergic and could cause her to have higher risk of SIDS. I plan on asking my OB and paediatrician about this but i'm wondering if if any of you with children already have experienced this? i could NEVER give away my pets so this is out of the question- i'm just unsure what to do if she is allergic



sorry for the long questions but if you have any advice for me on either i'd appreciate it!!

 

[jeka]

Hi there beautiful names by the way, Emma is my all time favourite))
I totally understand where your mom is coming from in the sense that i would hate the other woman and everything that has to do with her. That said, i think your mom has no right to demand anything, let alone be livid about your choices. I say go for tge name that you like (Rose) because it is so hard to find a name that you like. There is always going to be something like this coming up and you cant let that affect you.
This is the reason our parents dont even know the name that we chose, i dont want anyones emotions controling naming process of a brand new baby.
About the last name i would give baby my OHs last name if i were you. As long as you feel secure and happy in this relationship with him i dont see a reason why not.
Sorry cant help you with pets

 

[lrxjessica]

My advice on the name is to do what YOU want and feel. In the end, as my mother told me, I'm the one that has to live with the name I choose for my child..calling the child that every day, writing it, etc. So name your child what you like and want.

As for the allergy and pets...if you want to keep the pets and your child ends up allergic, I suggest rigorous cleaning. Groom the pets often. Also invest in a good air purifier and vacuum cleaner. But I caution....a girl I know refuses to get rid of her dogs and cats. They suspect her son is allergic to them but she won't do anything about it. He has had an ear infection every month or two since born(he'll be 2 this year in July), 40% hearing loss and tubes in his ears. And he still has major ear infections with them.

 

[ttc1soon]

I wouldn't change something just because you don't like someone with that name, that could cross off so many names for no reason. I personally don't like two middle names, my husband has two and hates it, it causes confusion on paperwork and stuff like that. The last name part is hard. I have my husband's last name and so my children will too but without being married it makes it more complicated. As bad as this sounds I would probably hyphenate it or something just in case it doesn't work out with him but I wouldn't do it just because your mom wants you to.

I am trying not to think about allergy issues because we have a dog and she is our first baby. It would be impossible to give her away if either baby were to be allergic but we would try things and deal with it if the time comes, no need to stress out about it before then.

 

[sjminimac]

Name your Child what you want! Is she going to be Emma or Emma-Rose? (both beautiful btw) x

 

[sjminimac]

Oh - and when your baby gets here mama bear instincts will kick in and you'll know what to do about the pet situation - if it's even an issue. My cat and toddler live side by side, best of enemies

 

[RKW]

I grew up with 12 cats and 3 dogs - mum was a bit of a mad animal enthusiast! I am ridiculously healthy with no allergies, no hayfever and I've not taken a day off work for 8 years now. I honestly believe when you are exposed to a little of things young it can help protect against allergies.
We have a dog and I've already tried out the baby's sling with him in, and pushed him around the living room in the buggy. It hasn't even crossed my mind baby might be allergic to him, and I guess if she is we will have to deal with it, as my dog is my baby too, and not going anywhere :0)

We've also chosen Rose as our middle name :0)

 

[MrsHippo]

I'd choose a name that you and your partner feel happy with. As others have said, there is always someone somewhere that has a problem with your name choice. I have kept names a secret to avoid situations like that. And as for surnames, traditionally the baby always has the dads surname. What if you choose to get married one day? You'd end up having to change it. I would hate for my LO to have my surname, I hope that one day my OH will propose and I'll be able to take his name then we will all have the same name.

As for pets, really don't worry about it!!! Chances are, your baby won't be allergic but there is no way of knowing and no way of preventing it. Also, allergies develope randomly so your LO could be fine for x-amount of years then all of a sudden become allergic to the dog. I had cats for years then about 5 years ago I started getting allergy symptoms, wasn't sure what it was but discovered it was my cats. Unfortunately it just got worse and worse, to a point where I had days off work because my eyes were so swollen!! Ended up giving them new homes but it just shows that we can't do anything about it. So as I said before, don't worry about it now. You won't have anyway of knowing until she gets here. Also, most allergies can be controlled so dont assume you have to give your pets away X

 

[Kte]

It's not your fault your Dad had an affair, you shouldn't have to choose a name change because of it. If you both like it then stick with it, middle names (unless your double barrelling it) are hardly mentioned so your Mum can be grumpy all she likes, it's not often she will hear it anyway!

I was a bit upset / frustrated as my cousin has given her new arrival the same middle name as we had chosen, it's our Nana's middle name and she died Christmas eve, so I knew when it was read out at the funeral it would happen anyway - I had chosen this name months ago and I had actually forgotten it was my Nana's So we are going to stick with it as it's something we chose. We liked it then ages ago so forget all other circumstances, that is what we are using still

As for pets, if your child ends up being that allergic then you may have to re-home BUT I wouldn't worry too much. We had 3 cats when my first LO was born and now we have 4 As another poster mentioned, it's all about keeping things clean but being exposed to pet hair may be better for your baby in the long run - my nephew grew up with no pets and boy does his eyes swell up if he is near certain pets, it's mainly to do with the type of fur they have for him. All is managed well with an anti inflammatory if he visits though. Out LO - absolutely fine.

 

[Bec27]

Firstly, I'm sorry for you that you seem to be in the middle of all this. Both your mum and OH seem quite set on what they want. I agree when people say it's not your mum's decision though and what you and your OH like is far more important- it's your daughter. I do think your mum is being incredibly unfair on you to put so much pressure on such important decisions. If you like the name Rose (and I do mean you, not your OH) then you should keep it. Tell your mum that you're sorry it has bad memories for her but that this isn't about her, it's about your daughter and what you want to call her.

With your second issue, we have two cats and our son is fine with them. I was a bit worried as I was allergic to animals growing up. I still am with rabbits and horses but am ok with others now. Think it's a case of wait and see. Keep the house hoovered well and that should help but if she is allergic you'll just have to do what you think right at the time. Cross that bridge when and if you come to it.

Good luck with everything

 

[weffi82]

With regards to name, its not down to ur mum to dictate what you choose. One would presume one day you and ur partner will one day marry?

Not sure what to sujest bout alergies, we have cats even tho i have a mild alergy but the kids dont seem to be affected.

 

[Bec27]

Oh and I think you should use your OH's last name if that's what you want. Your mum really doesn't have the right to an opinion on that and is being really unreasonable to say she'll be 'livid' if her name is not used. It's not her child so IMO she needs to back off! (In the nicest possible way!)

 

[heaveneats]

thanks ladies, I hope that OH and i marry some day, not right now but someday. I'm just worried for right now i feel 'left out' that my surname is not used- OH says well it can be yours one day if you wanted it, so i assume that means marriage at some point
I think i may use the suggestion some of you mentioned to keep the middle names secret until she is born, that way no one can try and sway me while i wait for her to come

i guess i can only hope that she is like me and not allergic to cats or dogs! i was allergic to cats when i was younger but then i got three and surrounded myself in fur and now i'm cured !

 

[ltbustle]

I say go with what you like. Your mom might be upset at first, but she will probably begin to look at the name Rose differently after she identifies it with her precious granddaughter instead of "the other woman". As far as the last name, my fiance and I are not yet married but certainly plan to be in the near future, so we are going with his. I say, again, go with what you like. Your mom may be a huge part of your life (I know mine is), but this is YOUR child and your mom will grow to appreciate that you have made the decision that is right for you and your family. She'll get over it, and you won't regret it.

I also don't think the animals are anything to worry about. My parents ALWAYS had pets (cats and dogs) and my two brothers and I are all still alive and kickin. My daughter was born into a house with a dog and two cats and she is a healthy 15 y/o. We currently have two dogs and a cat and I worry more about them jumping on the baby and accidentally hurting him than I do about SIDS or allergies.

Congrats on your little future baby! Enjoy her

 

[Mrs Bee]

I'm on the same page as everyone else... She's your baby so name her whatever you like... Your mum will adjust when she sees your little ones face

As for pets... That never even crossed my mind... I've got two dogs and I'm allergic to dogs,cats and rabbits... That being said I couldn't live without my dogs so I'd never rehome them.... I know with my dogs I'm still allergic but I've developed a tolerance for them so its good to be exposed to them. I'd say don't over think things too much... Once she is here there will be no time anyways hehe

 

[Kte]

My daughter has my partners surname as well. We are engaged, it felt odd at first but now it's just the norm that her surname is different to mine. It's not something that can't be changed in the future so don't worry too much