2 weeks since we lost Hannah

[Kelly9]

We lost our beautiful baby girl Hannah at 18 weeks from a sacrococcygeal teratoma Jan 13, 2012. It's been 2 weeks and even though I don't cry quiet as much I still have this heavy feeling in my heart for her.

My MIL has been with us for the last 2 weeks but goes home tomorrow and I am scared that I won't cope well with my 17.5 month old son. I've been doing more and more every day and have even gotten out of the house a few times but I just don't want to regress in the progress I've made with my grief. I"m afraid that the daily tasks I'll need to do for my son will break me even more then I already am. How do I avoid this or make it easier? I don't have any family near by to help and my husband has to work so I'm at a loss for ideas.

 

[tummymummy]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your little girl. Just wanted to send my love to you and your family at this difficult time. xxxxxxxxxx

 

[OliveBay]

All i can say is take one little step at a time and don't put too many expectations on yourself. I don't have any children to look after so can't really offer any practical advice on that i'm afraid. It will be hard but you will get through it

 

[Andypanda6570]

It is really hard and I didn't have anyone except my best friend , but she could never understand my pain. This grief does that, it makes you think you are ok and your really not. It takes time and 2 weeks isn't a lot of time. I am not saying you are going to go back to being upset and crying, but it is a possibility and I am just trying to be honest with you When you have someone there you feel safer so it could be that or maybe you are going to be ok in that period of time. For me it took me 10 months to finally get through this nightmare, but again that is me not you.
I think you will be fine with your son and you will love him and take care of him, but you may find yourself being upset again, i hope not.
I promise things do get easier with time . Sending lots of love your way..XOXOXOXO
You know we are all here for you anytime

 

[FngrsCrossed]

We lost our beautiful baby girl Hannah at 18 weeks from a sacrococcygeal teratoma Jan 13, 2012. It's been 2 weeks and even though I don't cry quiet as much I still have this heavy feeling in my heart for her.

My MIL has been with us for the last 2 weeks but goes home tomorrow and I am scared that I won't cope well with my 17.5 month old son. I've been doing more and more every day and have even gotten out of the house a few times but I just don't want to regress in the progress I've made with my grief. I"m afraid that the daily tasks I'll need to do for my son will break me even more then I already am. How do I avoid this or make it easier? I don't have any family near by to help and my husband has to work so I'm at a loss for ideas.

I am so sorry for you and dh's loss of Hannah...Two weeks is fresh though. And you can't expect yourself to be who you were before the loss. The only thing that I can do is to tell you to take refuge in your 17.5 month old, play a lot. Take him out of the house to the park.

When you feel like you are hitting a low, call family or friends and chat on the phone. Tell them how you are feeling. I am sure that they are willing to listen and make you feel better. I think it helped me by looking at my other children and saying "You are not allowed to quit, and do nothing, you are not allowed to be idol either." Our loss is their loss too, my kids are just old enough to realize it. I have not allowed myself to lay in bed all day and give in to defeat.

I don't know if you are very spiritual or not, but here is something to help you: 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 We are hard pressed on every side, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

So...You may feel hard pressed, persecuted, and struck down; but you are not destroyed by any means. That's what I have kept telling myself every day since my loss...I am not destroyed. So if I am not destroyed and still here then I still have the means to fight. Weather it is on one knee and missing an arm I can do it. And so can you. Don't give in to defeat, get up, keep moving and keep your head up because your angel is looking down at you...

 

[Kelly9]

My mil is gone now. Today hasn't been to bad hopefully tomorrow will be better. My husband is getting frustrated with me now he doesn't understand why I'm still so affected and I don't like how he's not more affected or at least understanding of how I feel.

Does anyone know how long it would take for the hcg to leave my system if I delivered at 18 weeks?

 

[sunkiss]

im so sorry for ur loss kelly so unfair to have to go through this, but one thing i want u to remember is, it takes a special kinda woman to give God an angel

take time to heal, do not rush it or pretend the hurt is not there, yes u have to live for ur son and husband but u just lost a child so this is natural to feel this way, men are different, they do not understand how we feel, i didnt understand it either until i lived it, they do not bond the same way as we do, that comes later for them, and that is natural for them, but u have the right to feel the way u do, even if u have to mourn in the bathrm for 10 mins everyday alone then u do that because its all part of healing, it gets better everyday as it has for me but u will always miss ur angel..u will get through it hunny!!

i got my first neg test at 3 weeks after my loss and ovulated right after, first af was 5 weeks and got my bfp 2nd cycle after loss, so there is hope hunny if u are ready to try again, u will get ur rainbow, all the best to u

 

[FngrsCrossed]

My mil is gone now. Today hasn't been to bad hopefully tomorrow will be better. My husband is getting frustrated with me now he doesn't understand why I'm still so affected and I don't like how he's not more affected or at least understanding of how I feel.

Does anyone know how long it would take for the hcg to leave my system if I delivered at 18 weeks?

Dh is grieving too, please forgive his frustration. Men handle things different than we do. They take the lets not talk about it approach and go on like it didn't happen, because it's easier for them.

They are brought up to not cry, to express little emotion, to "suck it up and be a man". Why do we do that to our sons? smh So when it comes down to things like this they have a hard time showing how they are really feeling. Please don't think he doesn't care because trust me he does, and the real frustration is not with you; it's with the loss.

The thing is I don't talk to DH as much as I would to my mom or bestie about my baby. It looks like he hates talking about it with me, so we don't recap on events we will just mention the baby's name now and then. Be patient with each other. Let him know you need his patience and understanding.

It shouldn't take that long to get the HCg back to normal at least by your first PP AF. Get and FRER and , since it has a low Mlu you should get a more accurate result so you can see if its going down.

 

[DueSeptember]

I'm sorry for your Lost

 

[Garnet]

I lost my son Taylor at 17.5 weeks. It takes time. You will have bad days and good days. I had postpartum with my other losses. I think exersises help because it gets the endorphins going. I walk or run every other day. It helps with the depression and it is hard to take care of things but your child needs you. Your husband may not understand that your hormones are not going to balance out for a while. You need to tell him that they take time to balance out. This forum helps to when you can't express your feelings anyplace else... It also makes you realize that you are not the only one who is hurting too...

 

[amanda83]

So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you. xo

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Sorry hun Hope you heal in time xx