2 years TTC

[MeredithS]

Hello everyone! I'm new to the forum, but not new to trying. I planned my honeymoon on a weekend I knew I'd be ovulating and voila! It worked as planned... until it didn't. I lost it in March '15. I can't remember the name of the medicine, but I took it vaginally after there was no more heartbeat. My DH and I started trying again as soon as we could and there were many months I thought something was happening only to find AF as timely as ever. I know when I ovulate because I get severe mittelschmerz and it marks the end of my fertility window. I roll my eyes every time someone tells me to just "not think about it" and I'll get pregnant. It would be a lot easier if my body didn't have an alarm! In September '15, I had a normal heavy period that lasted 7 days. All normal for me. 2 weeks later, my DH took me to the hospital as I was in excruciating pain on my right side. I was admitted for 3 days, no food/water. I just couldn't believe what they were telling me. I was pregnant and it was ectopic. I wanted hard proof and it was so early. How was it even possible?? I had a period 2 weeks prior. Then I got my hard proof and took the methotrexate. It put me out of commission for TTC for 6 months and I was devastated again. 8 weeks of bloodwork to see watch my HCG to drop. Heartbreaking. In Jan, I had a diagnostic lap that removed some endometriosis and check my tubes, both are fine and endo was mild. So we started again in March. Every month I "imagine" symptoms. My friends are tired of listening to my theories and my DH is supportive, but also doesn't understand the emotional turmoil I cause myself. So flash forward to now. I ovulated on the year anniversary of the metho shot. November 1st. On 9DPO, I mentioned to my DH that I usually have mild cramps or an "awareness" of my womb this time of month, and I was surprised there was nothing. 10-11dpo, I spotted both days. Mostly pink and brown and it stopped. Today is 12dpo, and I have cramps and lower back pain. I'm trying not to test, but I just don't know what's happening. My fear is it will be more of the same. AF, 2 weeks of resolve, BD, imaginary symptoms, AF. So, here I am any words of advice?

 

[MeredithS]

P.S. I take that back. Still spotting brown.

 

[2ducks]

Wow, you have an incredible story and I am so sorry for your losses and heartbreak. You have definitely come to the right place to find some support. There is a ttc#1 board where I spent most of my time before my BFP and a long term ttc board with some wonderful ladies as well. I was having trouble ttc as well and for me I found it emotionally easier to post on TTC#1 with women who didn't have kids but there are a lot of lovely ladies on this board as well.

I would recommend temping and charting to help pin point your O date and have your DH hide your pregnancy tests! I was a non stop tester and had to have my OH ration out my tests. Also, are you seeing a specialist? With your complicated history it makes sense to see a fertility specialist to get some good medical advice.

I am so sorry for everything you have gone through and I wish you a BFP and healthy pregnancy.

 

[BSN2MOM]

What a journey you have had, but it's still going! Thank you for sharing! I hope you find support on this website! Best of luck on this cycle and keep us updated I hope hear good news soon!

 

[MeredithS]

I thank you for your support. It's nice knowing I'm not the only one. Sadly,
This month is out. It's definitely AF. 5 days early.... another trick my body played. I'm not the type to give up or wallow, though. So, here's to next month! Fingers crossed!

 

[MeredithS]

2 DPO...spotting. No mittelschmerz. Same thing happened the month before last, so same ovary, but I didn't have spotting. What's that about??