2nd Miscarriage. 9 weeks...

[taybear]

Hello.

6 years ago, I had a chemical pregnancy at 4.5 weeks. It was devastating to me.

A month ago, I had a feeling I was pregnant. I was. Found out at about 7 weeks (we weren't trying and my cycles were off). Immediately followed by extended bleeding and cramping. Week 7.5-8, I was at-risk. And finally on 8+4, it was confirmed I was miscarrying. I passed our baby right before week 9.

This is a whole new level of grief for me. However, it did help my husband decide he was ready to try.

So we're 2 weeks ttc with clomid and metformin (PCOS) and also 2 weeks since our baby left us. I was given the all clear from my doc.

I'm just all sorts of mixed emotions. Everyone around me seems to have forgotten that it happened. But Logan is gone still and my heart hurts.

 

[momwithbabies]

I'm so sorry for your losses. One of the hardest parts in this is when everyone else "moves on," especially your significant other. The day I lost my baby, I was flying a kite with my kids, enjoying myself, and then there was a gush of blood. I look back on that day, over two years ago, and think how everything else was perfect. But flying a kite will never be the same for me, or my children, either.

Please give yourself time to grieve. I'm still working on being more vocal with my husband about our baby. I had to remind him that our baby died on April 12th. Their memory and feelings just aren't the same. I still get angry when I feel he's forgotten, but we are working on it. Our marriage has been stronger in some ways since my miscarriage, but we will never take TTC lightly again.

I hope you get your rainbow soon, but I also hope you allow yourself some time to be sad. On the same note, I also know how the clock is ticking for some of us, like me, and time isn't a luxury.

 

[momwithbabies]

And Logan is a beautiful name. I never named ours, but I always wanted to.