3.5 month old melting down when naps or sleep is coming

[bxsr]

Our 3.5 month old has become extremely alert and interested in the environment around her. Last week, we dealt with a nursing strike because she would melt down every time you tried to feed her. I am guessing it was because she didn't want to stop what she was doing to eat. This has since resolved itself, but it is still hit or miss if she will eat without a tantrum. This week, these meltdowns have transferred into bedtime/naps. If she even suspects we are trying to get her to sleep (eg. Take her into a darkened room, sit on a glider, put her into her pyjamas) she will start crying hysterically. Her last nap took 1.5 hours to get her to go to sleep and typically she will only nap for a maximum of 45 minutes. We try to catch her sleepy cues early and try to have her nap every 1.5-2 hours (depending on when the first yawn was). We've tried baby wearing, bouncing on an exercise ball, white noise, taking her for walks/drives, but nothing seems to work consistently. Even nursing her to sleep only works half of the time. Has anyone else experienced such sleep resistance? I am assuming some of it could be due to the 4 month sleep regression starting early. We are contemplating trying sleep training, but are worried she could be too young. Any advice or similar experiences would be helpful!

 

[Diannam]

I have experienced resistance and sometimes still do. The only things that helped was changing rocking position and place where the rocking was done, along with just time.

It didn't take me anywhere near 1.5 hours to get mine to sleep just for naps, bedtime was my husband's duty so I don't recall how that went, sometimes he would get me out of bed to rock him down when he was at wit's end. Naps took Maybe 10 minutes max but it was 10 minutes squirming pushing away and screaming until one of us gave up.

The worst of it lasted 1 or 2 weeks I think and I believe it was at 3.5 months too.

 

[noon_child]

My LO resisted naps, to the point where there was a two week period when she was three months old that she didn't sleep in the day at all for two weeks straight. The surrounding two or three months consisted of hit or miss attempts with sleeping in the car, pram, bouncer (I must have used so much petroleum driving round and round). Night time she would go to sleep but had to have about 1.5 - 2hrs on the boob.

What I realise now was that she was in a cycle of over tiredness. We had feeding issues that meant her feeds took about an hour sometimes. After that I'd think "right we can do something now", like go to a baby cafe or get washed and dressed. Because she didn't look tired (never yawned unless it was evening) I never thought to try harder to put her to sleep.

Eventually I found music at night helped her to get to sleep (still does now she is 5yrs) as it is interesting but you don't have to look at it. I also wore her in a sling when I wanted her to nap. At least that way if she didn't sleep she was still rested. However it took sling, rocking, singing and being outside all at the same time to guarantee a nap and it only worked once a day! The rest of the time we might get a second nap in the car or pram if we were lucky. So I feel your pain. It did get easier and the nap (singular) a bit longer from about 5months. At 11months she started doing a 1.5 hr - 2hr nap in her cot! Bliss.

What I would say is that yawning is a lateish sign of tiredness so if she usually yawns at 1.5hrs, you want to be planning the nap for 1hr 10ish. As she gets used to being alert and alive she will calm down about distractions and hopefully not be too much like my daughter!

 

[Marumi]

I never had a nap schedule and would let them nap whenever they are tired. My first had phases where he would nap great and then times where he would only nap held or by the boob. We are going with the flow with our second too. Yesterday he did not nap much and the two days before he took extremely long naps. They are so instinctive at this age, so I go by "baby knows best."
Maybe your lo is also protesting when she is not quite ready for a nap? Or she does not like where and how she is napping. Frustrated babys can get very loud. If I don't rock my lo the right way he would get very upset lol. He wants to be rocked upright first, and only when he is really sleepy I am "allowed" to recline him.

 

[MumToEva]

Could she already be too tired by the time you are putting her down for her nap? My daughter was a terrible sleeper / napper, so I started going by the 90 minute rule. There's a book on it (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Natural-Ba...4358&sr=8-1&keywords=90+minute+sleep+solution), but basically it says if you are waiting till you baby starts yawning you are already too late, and that baby's sleep cycles go in 90 minutes, so to catch them at their most receptive to sleep you need to have them back in their cot (or wherever they sleep) exactly 90 minutes after they waken from their last nap, and then do whatever they need to get them back to sleep. It worked wonders for DD - she initially needed quite a bit of help to get to sleep, but the amount of help she needed started to decrease until she was able to get herself over to sleep quite easily. Might be worth a try?

 

[Brienne]

Sounds familiar! Our 4 month sleep regression started at this age, we were cosleeping and it helped, I think! We also used a white noise teddy bear, which helped me too as I was exhausted!