38 and crisis of confidence

[lizziedripping]

Hey ladies I'm 38, 39 next month and having a real 'wobble' at the moment. I have 4 kids, the youngest being 22mth old twins. Since their birth, I felt that there was one last baby left in me and we started ttc a year ago.

Long story short, I had a chemical in March, a m/c at 10wks in July and another m/c in December at 6wks Understandabley this has left me totally paranoid and convinced my baby-making days are through. We don't seem to have any problems conceiving, they just won't stick! My obyn says these are early chromosomal flaws more common in older women, and that if we keep going we will get a healthy embryo - I'm just not convinced.

I am of course so blessed to have my children, and grateful that we have been this lucky so far, but after m/c the drive to succeed is stronger than ever, and I am finding it so tough to turn my back on the idea of another baby.

I would love to hear some inspirational stories from other women in a similar position? Are you older and conceiving easily and getting sticky beans, and/or have you had healthy babies, lots of m/c but then gone on to have more healthy embryos. Any stories gratefully received

 

[mtnprotracy]

Sending good vibes your way. I got a surprise sticky bean at 40--so you definitely still have it in you .....after an extremely complicated pregnancy 12 years ago (yes, 12 years ago...lol). So far, this pregnancy is text book....I'm 28 weeks come Monday and chugging right along .

BTW, your children are beautiful ! Hang in there....and best of luck!

tracy

 

[Dorian]

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time

I had three lovely children, not too close togther...17yrs, 13yrs and 7yrs old. Had my 7 yr old when I was 34yrsold. Then three years after that, I had m/c.

I am now 41, and had a surprise pregnancy. My dh and I were not trying, not preventing between the m/c and this pregnancy. And I am having no problems at all....except for the usual getting older aches are little bit worse lol

Pray and have Faith that if He has another child for you, you'll get it. I know that must be hard, having one m/c after another. And I wish you all the luck in getting a sticky bean.

 

[lizziedripping]

Fabulous stories of hope ladies, thank you

The miscarriages have definitely taken their toll, and having 3 consecutive losses of course undermines your confidence entirely. I certainly dread to think that we might have another year like the last one. Still, your stories have given me hope, and we will keep trying for our sticky bean xxx

 

[SabrinaKat]

I had an mc at 41 in August 2009 and two possible chemicals until I did conceive a 'sticky bean' in June 2011 (age 43) and baby came earlier this month (due to pre-eclampsia, but we are both fine!) at age 44. So, yes -- it is possible!

I found out I had an underactive thyroid last year and take medication for that as well as metformin for PCOS; I also lost weight, gentle exercise, healthy eating (but yes, the occasional drink!) and tried acupuncture, so a few lifestyle changes between 2009 and 2011 also helped (at least mentally!).

best wishes

 

[Rikki]

Hang in there! Don't give up yet!

I am also 38 (39 next month) and have 3 kids 18, 16 and 8. I had a miscarriage between my youngest 2.

3 years ago I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks, then 6 months later I was pregnant again and at my 12 week scan there was no baby. Another 6 months passed and I was pregnant again. That time everything seemed to be going well, but my waters were leaking at 19 weeks, and after a scan showed there was no fluid around the baby and I had an infection, I was told I had to give birth or else the infection would spread to my blood causing serious complications. There was no hope of survival for the baby.

I am now pregnant again - 17 weeks. And fingers crossed, everything seems to be going well so far. Can't stop that little niggle though!

Good luck. I know it's difficult and disheartening to have had so many losses, but I hope you get your happy ending soon xx

 

[Dawn2411]

I'm in the same boat as you lizzie except I'm a bit older (just turned 40). I have 4 beautiful children (dd 21, ds 13 dd 8 and ds 6) but want just one more. My last 3 pregnancies ended in m/c. Most people just don't understand why I want another and make comments like, "your crazy to want a 5th child" or "you already have 2 of each, be thankful". well I am thankful, very thankful but that dosen't mean that my desire for one more and dealing with all the m/c's dosen't hurt likehell. My doctor isn't very supportive either and tells me that my chances aren't good due to my age and old eggs and acts so nonchalant about the whole situation even when I'm sitting there crying she is very insensitive. I'm very limited on doctors in my area that will deliver at the hospital I would want to use and this is the second doctor I have gone through since moving to california 8 mos. ago. I have wonderful friends who are supportive but I think that even they think I should stop putting myself through the heartache. I'm not ready to give up and won't stop tyring until I feel enough is enough or i get my baby. I just hope that I still have one more good egg that will bring me my baby. I am going to insist that my doctor run some tests even though she says it's just because of my age/old eggs. Good luck to you and i hope we both get what we want in the end