3yr old needs glasses

[ladders]

so just looking for some support and stories. We originally took dd to the dr as over xmas her droopy eyelid got really bad as she was tired. was referred to the hospital and while they are not concerned with the eyelid i was told yesterday that the eye has astigmatism 3.5 and she will need glasses to be worn continuously and unlikely to correct enough so will be permanent.
im absolutely gutted and can't stop crying, i know in the grand scheme of things its not bad but i just dont want this for her. im very short sighted and had glasses since 3 and contacts from 12, i hate hate hate my glasses and how i look and feel in them, i got teased as they were so thick, even now i have to pay loads to have lens thinned out and they still dont fit in a thick frame, they are also too bad for laser eye.
my dh isnt concerned he says if she needs them then she has them end of, im just gutted her beautiful face is going to be covered my glasses, i feel guilty that its probably my fault, my dh has perfect vision. i never thought there was anything wrong with her vision she sees tiny tthings far away but thats because her right eye is doing all the work.
also I'm worried how i get her to keep them on, how do i make her do something that i dont want to do myself, my dh wants me to wear my glasses more ( i never wear them always have contacts in) and i will for her but it brinhs back so many negative feelings and i struggle to make eye contact/ talk to people as i feel so concious in them.

sorry for the ramble ladies im just feeling awful and no one seems to understand why

 

[LoraLoo]

Glasses are pretty trendy these days.. . Even people with perfect eyesight wear them.

I help in school in reception class and there are 4 or 5 that wear glasses and honesty... they're cute as a button. I dont find they hide their little faces at all.

I know its not what you wanted as a parent as we always want to protect our little ones but it's good that it's been caught early- and she won't be the only 3 year old to wear them. It's definitely not your fault although I think as Mums we are always blaming ourselves for one thing or another x

 

[Witchrose]

Totally agree with Loraloo. It's really good the problem was caught so early. I did badly in some of my classes until somebody finally realized that it was because I couldn't see the darn chalkboard.


And yes, glasses are cool! It's all in the attitude. If you wear them... rock 'em. I actually really like mine now.


That said, I do get where you are coming from. As someone who has suffered a lot of ongoing, sometimes severe eye problems, I would never make light of the issue, and obviously none of us want our children to suffer anything we have. But it's no one's fault if something is inherited. If you have kids, there's always a chance something or another may be passed down. Genes are genes. That's just the way it is. Don't waste time stressing over things you can't change. Just think about the things you can do. Think about it this way. You're no longer that kid being teased by jerks. You're a grown woman. Let *her* go, and then you (if you choose to) and your daughter can wear glasses with confidence.

 

[Teri7489]

My 4 year old has just got glasses and she has taken them to just fine. Nowadays they are a normal thing, not like years ago when people used them as a means of mocking you. I'm sure your lo will look adorable - my daughter took ages picking out her two pairs and settled on Frozen and Dory ones and now decides which go best with her clothes each day. She proudly wears them and I'm sure your lo will be the same with a little confidence from you xxx

 

[SarahBear]

I don't know how to answer your question as I'm not in your shoes, but when it comes to body image, the most important thing is for girls to not hear their mothers talk negatively about their own bodies. I assume it would be similar with glasses. Try to not let her see your discomfort and disappointment. Maybe talk about how you sometimes wear glasses and it's cool that you both get to wear them? Talk about how great it is that glasses exist so some people can see better. How does your daughter feel about the glasses?

 

[ladders]

thanks ladies i appreciate your replies and suggestions. Yes im going to wear my glasses in the house and say how cool we look and that we are in the glasses club. im waiting till i feel bettetmr about it to go.and pick some so we can make it exciting and fun and she gets two pair which shes already told me she wants a pink pair. Sarahbear i dont think she really gets it yet so dont know how she will feel when she has to wear them all the time and she has just started pre school so going to be hard to keep her in them then if she doenst want

 

[lau86]

My 6 yr old has glasses, I don't so it's new for me. They're Star Wars ones and he looks gorgeous! As with everything else they've come a long way since our time

 

[bdb84]

I have terrible vision. Terrible. My ex-husband (father of my three children) has perfect vision. So far my older two have inherited my vision and my youngest will likely follow suit. You know what? My babies look ADORABLE in glasses, and your's will, too!

They are so common that I highly doubt your LO will have much experience dealing with negativity. My son has been in his since he was 6 (he's 12 now) and he's never once been made fun of for them. He's incredibly sensitive like I am so he definitely would have mentioned it to me if he had been made fun of. Same with my DD even though it's only been a year for her.

It's a very good thing you caught it early! I didn't catch it until my daughter's first grade year and by then she was already mistaking certain letters, getting them mixed up, due to her vision. Her V's and U's were mixed up. Her D's and B's were always the opposite way. I'm thankful it never affected her grades, but it sure made reading difficult for her because she was always confused. Now? Reading is her absolute favorite and she excels in it.

 

[SarahBear]

My neighbor's kid went into glasses before 3. Just get the kind with the band around the back of the head and make it a solid habit before preschool. If the teachers know they're supposed to stay on all the time, they'll help reinforce it as well.

 

[ladders]

thanks ladies, bdb84 i bet your children do look super adorable and i know my dd will too i guesse its my feelings and hang ups that are blurring my common sense around it, i have so many negative memories and feelings around growing up in glasses but i have to remember that im 34 so was a long time ago and her vision isnt as bad as mine so wont be stuck with the horrible glasses

 

[CaptainMummy]

Hi hun, my 4yr old got prescribed glasses a couple of months ago. Sort of similar to your daughter. Her left eye is severely nearsighted (-9.50) and her right eye is slightly far-sighted but only a little. She also has moderate astigmatism in both eyes. Her right eye is also doing the work because she can't see more than a couple of inches in front of her face with her left. I felt guilty too, but I couldn't have known so I just keep telling myself that I know now and am taking action. Don't beat yourself up!
As for the glasses, I think my girl looks absolutely gorgeous in hers. She loves them, and from day 1 kept them on just fine. Nobody ever mentions them (apart from compliments) even the kids in her nursery just seemed to accept it so there is no reason to worry at all! My 7yr old is desperate for glasses lol.

 

[ladders]

mrssmurphy thank you for sharing that picture 😚 shes beautiful and looks really happy in them. We have just been to choose her glasses they are in the winnie the pooh range from specsavers and are pink they look very very similar to your daughters so tha picture has made me feel better