4 days pp and can't stop worrying (not sure where to post this)

[pj1229]

So I had my son on February 4th at around 2:29 am. He was a VBAC, and the doctor who delivered did an episiotomy because he said if he hadn't, I would have torn. It seemed like he stitched forever, but it may have only been a few minutes.

While in the hospital, the nurses constantly checked and said I wasn't swollen or anything like that. They gave me some sort of pain relieving spray to bring home, as well as witch hazel pads. I've been using them, as well as taking warm showers(can't do baths because my tub is messed up and my landlord hasn't fixed it yet).

Anyway, it's been 4 days since I've had my stitches and I feel like I'm just making things worse instead of healing. When I sit, it feels like things are stretching and pinching down there. It's so sore and tender, and I can't seem to get comfortable, no matter what I do. I can't stop thinking I've pulled the stitches and will get infected.

I also, according to the nurses, had some blood loss, and my hemoglobin levels had dropped to around 6(they're supposed to be 11-12 or so). I'm on iron pills, and a high in protein/iron diet to try and bring my levels up so I don't need a transfusion. I've only just started it yesterday, but I feel like it's not going to help and I'm going to have to be hospitalized again.

Thirdly, baby was tested for jaundice and was only in the intermediate range, so they told me it was nothing to worry about and would most likely go away on its own. To me, when I breastfeed him or just look at him, his eyes seem yellow to me, but only just slightly. That worries me, even though I don't think it should.

Fourth, I had him circumcised in the hospital(personal choice that SO and I agreed upon after he was born) and was told Vaseline on the cut + in the diaper so it didn't stick would help. And if I was going to sponge bathe him, just drizzle warm water over the area and let air dry. I've been doing all of that, but now I can't tell if it's healing or more of an infection. SO said it's not leaking pus and it doesn't smell, so he's not worried about an infection. Baby goes to see the pediatrician on Tuesday, but I'm going to call tomorrow just to maybe try and ease my anxiety.

SO has told me everything is fine and to try and stop worrying so much. He really has been a rock these past few days, helping me in any way he can. But I can't seem to stop worrying over every little thing, and I even had a crying jag in the shower yesterday before getting myself under control.

I guess what the point of this post is, does anyone have any advice or similar stories? Should I really be worrying like a crazy person? I just don't know what else to do. It's been 8 /2 years since I've dealt with an infant(my older son will be 9 in June), and I feel like I'm a first time mom all over again. I just think I need some reassurance or something.

 

[justplay91]

Hi pj1229. Oh my goodness, your post just transported me back in time six months! I had my son back in August, and if it helps, it sounds like everything you're going through is completely normal. I have never worried more than in those first few weeks after my baby was born. When I gave birth, I had a second degree tear and also had to be stitched up. For a long time, sitting in any position was almost excruciating. I bought these blue gel packs from Walmart called Thera-Pearl and put them in the freezer. When I needed one, I would wrap it in a paper towel and put in my underwear. That helped a lot, in addition to the numbing spray and the witch hazel pads. It does get better, noticeably, every week.

When I had my son, I had to have emergency surgery afterward to combat a hematoma and I required 2 blood transfusions. When I left the hospital, I was given a prescription of iron tablets (Note: if they make you nauseous or constipated, take them with orange juice. That helped me immensely). When I told my doctor I wanted to start TTC again, she asked me to come in for a blood draw. This was about 4 months pp. My levels are back to normal now! All you can really do is take your iron and rest as much as possible.

After Kai was born, they tested him several times a day for jaundice. He never had it, but there were a few times that he looked kind of yellow to me. We put him in the window so the sun would shine on him for a few minutes a few times a day. The UV rays in the sun allow the baby's body to break down the bilirubin and excrete it in urine.

Lastly, I didn't have my son circumcised but it sounds like you're doing everything you can to take care of it. Keep it clean and protected with Vaseline and it should be okay. You'll be able to tell if it gets infected. However, if you're worried, absolutely call your baby's doctor. They are there to give you peace of mind, and they will. We called for every little thing the first few weeks, and they never needed to see us for anything.

Everything you're going through right now is very typical for the mom of a newborn, first time or not. It seems like you're right on track. The experience happens to still be very fresh in my mind right now, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Good luck!

 

[StranjeGirl]

I can't say about the circumcision because I have girls, but the the pain from stitches seem normal. With my first I had only one stitch and was is major pain for weeks. I called the dr at 2 weeks and was sure I had an infection and he said it was normal. I couldn't sit either. It burned, stung and itched. Finally about 3 weeks pp it started to get a little better. And that was only for a first degree tear and one stitch! I can't image an episiotomy! I hope you heal soon!
Maybe call the dr about the jaundice? Mine was intermediate too and I kept worrying also.
Congrats on your ds!!

 

[ParisJeTadore]

I had a lot of excessive worry with my first baby and was later diagnosed with postpartum anxiety. At this point you have been through a lot, experienced a huge life change, have the responsibility of caring for a helpless little being and all the while hormones are raging through your body. This period of time will become a distant memory but in the moment it can be very overwhelming. It can be very, very normal but could be helpful to talk to someone about your worry like a health visitor or doctor-they could provide you with some helpful reassurance.

Hang in there mama I promise it gets better in the months ahead and the excessive worry will slowly go away.

 

[Prinny_1]

The stitch pain def gets worse before it gets better, that sounds very normal. Also at 4 days PP you are in the baby blues zone, so pretty normal to feel crappy and anxious.

With DS1 I lost a lot of blood and my levels were 7.9 and I was offered a transfusion. Since I was told that 8 was the transfusion threshold I refused and had iron tablets and tried to eat super healthily. Tbh, looking back, I think it actually made me very ill. I could barely walk without my legs shaking and it took until abt 12wks to feel even close to well. I was very pale and anxious and, looking back, I wish I'd had the transfusion as it may have helped me cope in those early weeks. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself and resting and taking your iron. Be kind to yourself because it takes your body a long time to recover from that level of blood loss. When I compare my experiences in the early weeks with DS1 and DS2 I realise what a state I was in. X

 

[jd83]

I remember going through a lot of those worries with my first, and it was all totally normal. I had an episiotomy with my first, and the pain during recovery was just awful. It hurt to sit, it hurt to bend over, etc. Did they give you a Sitz bath? If not, get one from the pharmacy; it REALLY helps to soothe the pain. I used at least once a day early on. Also, really warm water in a squirt bottle to cleanse down there when you pee helps with the stinging too. You can make padscicles to help relieve the pain by pouring some water and witch hazel onto some pads, and freeze them. Put in your undies as needed to get some relief. Take stool softener until you start to feel better down there too. Going number 2 was just awful for me, with the stitches and cut area, so having it softened up a bit from the softener really helped. sorry if that's TMI, lol, but it really did help.

As for your lo, the yellow in the eyes is probably fine. Jaundice leaves the body bottom to top, so leaves the face and eyes last. If he were getting worse, you'd notice yellowing spreading onto his lower body. My younger son had jaundice, which became worse overnight after we were discharged from hospital. We took him back the next day and got readmitted, but it was pretty obvious. His skin had all started yellowing. I'd do as pp mentioned and sit him in front of a window with curtains drawn so he gets the light coming in on him for a bit each day.

 

[shinona]

Lots of good advice above so just sending you hugs.
Try rolling up a hand towel like a sausage and putting one under each bum cheek when you sit down. It was the only way I could sit comfortably after my episiotomy
Xx

 

[Perplexed]

I can only speak about the episiotomy...it was sore for a while before it got better. My hospital only gave me a cream that did absolutely nothing. I don't remember when it started getting better but possibly by a week later or so? Are you having a 1 wk pp appointment with your dr? You can have it checked by then.

 

[Hoping4peanut]

Those first few weeks I worried all day everyday. Then after a few more weeks I calmed down. It's normal to have worry and tears and other insane emotions the first 3 weeks or so! If you still feel after three weeks that things aren't settling down it might not hurt to reach out and talk to someone.

I was a mess my first 3 weeks but then it went away. 7 months pp I am struggling again so just started up with a therapist. It is really helping me.

Give yourself a little grace for these first few weeks though. The beginning is tough,

 

[Dreambaby69]

i echo what the other ladies have said. it will get better hun, the sleeping , the emotions, the pain and the worry. it will all be a distant memory just hang in there. It truly does get better x

 

[Wannabe Mommy]

2nd degree tear here and it was painful for 2 weeks before it started to get better and it was at it's worst about the 1 week mark when the skin starts to heal around the stitches.

I soaked pads in witch hazel and stuck then in the freezer for a little relief.

It will all get better you just need to take it easy for a couple of weeks to give yourself a chance to heal and to let the hormones start to stabilise.

 

[pj1229]

Things have finally improved. Stitches have been healing and it stopped hurting to sit/stand/etc after about 2 weeks. Baby is also doing somewhat well. No more jaundice. That went away a few days after I posted this because I kept him in as much natural light as I could. His circumcision healed up fine, as well. I've gotten over my anxiety, for the most part. Thankfully it didn't turn into extreme PPD or anything like that. I've definitely been doing a lot better now. And so has baby, except for the fact that we're now dealing with reflux/throwing up and constipation. :/

 

[Dreambaby69]

That is great to hear pj. As per the reflux, I am sure that your doctor can recommend something that will help. As per constipation, I give ds some water to soften his tommy when I feel like he is getting constipated and we do some little exercise like bicycle kicks and that always seems to help x.