4 Year of behaviour

[momofthreee]

Hello,
I'm a mom of a 4 year old boy who can sometimes throw the worst tantrums. He is my oldest, other two are 2 years old and 4 months old. I recently took his tablet time away, he was getting obsessed with watching kids youtube and thought that was a big factor of his behaviour but its been 2 weeks and I'm thinking that wasn't it. He will scream and yell "your bad" at me when he doesn't get his way. Getting ready for school in the mornings isn't easy either. He will have fits, yell and kick at me and his dad. When he is at school he is great and behaves very well his teachers tell me. We try to be positive with him and make going to school and getting ready for school exciting or fun, but he isn't taking any of it.. Any ideas on how to get him to behave better? We have tried time outs and he just yells at me and kicks on the wall or door.

 

[OilyMamma]

My oldest is now 5 and the age of 4 was by far THE WORST. They start to learn how to handle their emotions and most of the time anger is displayed as a very very bad tantrum. I noticed it was exceptionally bad when he was over stimulated, tired or hungry. Hunger was the WORST so i got in the habit of carrying LOTS of snacks. Lol.
I also had to learn to watch how I reacted to it and how i delt with my own emotions..they watch us right...i don't always react how i know i should and my boy definitely picked some of it up.
Stay strong. Its a tough age for sure

 

[OilyMamma]

The school should have access to an occupational therapist. They usually have fantastic recommendations for dealing/helping you and the kids through this kind of stuff. Cant hurt to look into that as well

 

[chaoticjoy3]

I have a 3 year old daughter who also throw tantrums. The worst is when you are in the local grocery store and everyone you know is staring you down. On a serious note, I know how terribly frustrating this can be. I have 3 kids, my oldest is 16. He was a beast, there were a few years when I didn't even take him in public due to the tantrums. Going to a restaurant was unbearable, but now, he is a great young man. So now I am facing the exact same thing with my youngest, but I did learn a lot from that experience with my son. I learned that many times things like this are just a stage, and kids know how to push our buttons. Like yours, both of these tantrum throwing kids were absolutely perfect when they were at daycare or in school or Sunday school, so I have come to the realization that the problem may very well be my reaction to the behavior. Most times, I do my best to ignore the behavior. With my 3 year old I quietly pick her up and put her in her room and shut the door. She now knows that when she wants to get out of her room she has to come and apologize. If not her room, I put her nose in the corner. For the most part it helps, but it is really a challenge in the morning because I always seem to be running behind and time-outs are not a realistic punishment. I hope some of this helps, if you just can't seem to get a handle on it you many want to consult with the school counselor but more than likely this is just one of the many stages we will encounter as they grow. I'll be praying for you!!

 

[jessmke]

My daughter is only 2 so she is quite a bit younger, but I find that she is a lot worse when we are in the house all day. She NEEDS outdoor time at least twice a day in order to maintain her sanity. It can be challenging in the winter but we always bundle up a couple times a day and go out sledding or skiing or just playing in the yard and it makes a HUGE difference in her mood. I also find that her mood is better with less tv/ipad time. She had never watched tv until my DS was born, but now I need something to occupy her while I am putting him down for a nap, so she gets Paw Patrol on the iPad in her room while I'm getting baby down for a nap. It usually isn't more than 10-15 min, but occasionally baby is having a tough time and might take an hour to get down. Those are always the days when DD is at her worst, I really think it has to do with too much screen time.