4 year old school boy wont do things for his dad!!

[DDCheshire]

Hiya
Can anyone please help.. We have a 4 year old who as just started school and a 2 year old little girl.. I work part time and feel I have a good work life balance as get quality playtime with them both.. But my husband is struggling with our 4 year old which is causing arguments!! I am not saying when I am around things are perfect but at least I can control the both but my husband can't.. And if I not around meltdown occurs and I am annoyed as I told him and my mother in law that NO was an acceptable word years back but they allowed him to rule them and they are now paying the price!! As an example I was out for a few hours yesterday and daddy in charge and first part went well.. Had a visit to see Nana and tantrums started and by the time I got back all exhausted!! There had be problems for a few hours ending in my son throwing a toy at our conversatory window.. And other things!! This being the worst day for them and therefore making me feel guilty for having time to myself!!!!
Help please....:

 

[RachA]

Did he start school this september?
Is his behaviour worse since he started at school?

If yes to both then it could be tiredness - my son also started in Sept and although he's not really any different with us he has done stuff at school that i can quite honestly say he's never done before. The only thing i can put this down to is a change in routine and also tiredness. School is a big adjustment and they get tired so easily.

 

[fuzzballxxx]

does daddy play with him, my partner had some issues with our 2 dd's and it came to light that he wasnt giving them enough attention since he has started actually playing with them while im out they have got alot better i came home the other day and they were all baking. being tired also doesnt help.

 

[Vixen_17]

Hiya
I am annoyed as I told him and my mother in law that NO was an acceptable word years back but they allowed him to rule them and they are now paying the price!! :

Sounds like you just found the solution to your own question - teach daddy how to say no. I know this isn't a whole solution but it might be a good starting point. Get daddy to say no and consistently mean NO! so that your son realises daddy isn't a pushover any more.

Good luck!

 

[shellie]

We had this problem. My OH wouldn't tell our son no either, or would say "if you do that I'll put you in your room!" but would never put him in his room so my son knew he could get away with anything as there would be no punishment for it. Whereas if i said I was going to do something I'd carry it out. He does need to realize that his dad is an adult who is in charge too and his dad also needs to be seen to be on your side and backing you up when you disciplin your child. xxx

 

[DDCheshire]

Thanks everyone.. Makes me feel better knowing it not just us!!

 

[JASMAK]

You can give your hubby ideas on his relationship with his child, buy books etc...I encourage it because hubby here picked up a few things, but he worked with children for years and so he was pretty good for the most part...although parenting is different than just teaching. BUT...at the end of the day...your child has a relationship with you, and a relationship with his dad, and you can't put yourself in the middle always trying to fix it and worry about it, although, I think a little bit is normal. Your child will work it out, and if you think about your life, you have different relationships with different people too...and that is ok.