4th anniversary of day my little girl grew wings

[yeahuloveme]

:'( first time i have been back here in almost a year, saw my twins ticker, set me off crying all over again.
I cant deny it is getting easier but does the pain ever really go away, do we ever really come to terms with the fact that the baby we loved nutured and carried is gone, that we never got to hear them cry, to see them smile, they say that labour is the worst pain ever, but loosing your precious baby is so much worse, the pain just doesnt go, that aching feeling in your chest, the lump in your throat, the resentment you feel when you see some one with a new baby , maybe I am a horrible person but I cant help feeling ITS NOT FAIR! where is my baby, why did they get to keep theirs but I keep loosing mine.
my best friend just had a little girl, who is now to be my god daughter, she is almost 8 weeks old, and i have seen her twice, how do i tell my best friend that holding her daughter and watching her sleep is so hard.

 

[SarahJane]

I am so sorry for your loss xx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know you just never get through this fully do you? It's been 5 months since I lost Ava at 18 weeks and I cry every single night, I wonder if my heart will ever be ok again? I know I am a completely different person, i just feel so changed inside Ava would have been here in 2 weeks I held a 6 week old baby girl the other day and it felt so good , but when I got home i cryed for hours over it, i just know my life will never be ok again

 

[ashley2pink]

 

[collie_crazy]

I'm so sorry There are no words that can take away your pain. But please dont worry about thinking you are a horrible person - you are not. I think we all go through these feelings, I know I do, its normal to have feelings of guilt, despair, even anger. I keep thinking about all these babies who are born who are not wanted, who end up in care or suffer a life of abuse and misery, those babies whose mothers smoke and drink and take drugs throughout their pregnancy, those babies who are terminated because 'the time isn't right' or they were an accident - all these lives, its so unfair that our little ones couldnt be here when they were so loved and so very very wanted And then I think how bad that makes me seem - its not that I wish bad on anyone else its like you said its just not fair!!