5 months and still unsure

[marybitter]

Hello everyone,

I'm brand new to this website, and recently I've felt the need to find support from other teen mom-to-be's.

When I was young, I had so many aspirations for myself. Go to college, get a degree, find a job, travel the world and speak different languages, find me a man that I can love for the rest of my life and raise a family. I was raised a Christian and held myself to higher morals, up until college I had a goal to save myself until marriage.

That part didn't work out so well.

As you can see, this pregnancy happened to shake my world. My parents have been great, my boyfriend is optomistic and so is his family...

My dilemma is whether to raise or to give the child to another family. I don't have my degree, neither does my boyfriend and we live in Hawaii (EXPENSIVE). I was only with my boyfriend for 6 months when I found out I was pregnant (on my birthday too!) and honestly, I am not sure if him and I have what it takes to make it through raising a baby.

I understand "love is what is most important" but how can I create an environment of love and affection when the daddy and mommy are stressed about making ends meet as well as trying to still work on their relationship? My boyfriend can be immature at times, just like I can be, and our child deserves better than role models who don't know how to be role models (at least, ideal ones).

Plus we both had so many things we wanted to do before we settled down, we're not even ready to get married! How can two people like us make it work? I know we could be great parents, but there's no guarantee that in 10 years I won't be a single mother living with my parents.

I'm already 21 weeks....
Everyone seems to assume that we're keeping it, I cry everyday about being the "bad guy" for thinking adoption is the best choice.
I can't seem to talk to my boyfriend about it, him and his parents are so dead set on us keeping the baby.

I feel like if I make this choice, I will end up completely alone.

 

[bump+me]

I think that the fact you have a very supportive family on both sides is great.

Surely that means something? It dosen't sound like you will have to do this on your own if you choose to keep your baby it sounds like all of the family would be very supportive/helpful in looking after the baby and helping you out whenever you need it?
Is it def not possible to still do a degree after baby is born? I'm not sure about any funding or costs of courses over there.

Just because you have a baby it dosen't mean that you cannot still do some of the things that you planned to do yknow!
Why don't you speak to your parents about the concerns you have and see what they think?

x