5 week old only sleeps 7 hours a day total!!!!

[Tawn]

My daughter is almost 5 weeks old and has been an awful sleeper since day one. We have never been able to put her down to sleep or she would wake up immediately and she only cat naps about 10-20 minutes in very light fitful sleep on my chest about twice per day. This is no matter HOW MUCH effort we put in to put/keep her asleep at the first signs of her being tired. We bounce her on my fit ball, walk her, rock her, use our white noise teddy bear etc etc but she never ever deep sleeps and fights tooth and nail where it can take an hour to just eek out those 15 minutes rest from her! We've tried keeping her snuggled to keep her asleep, putting her down in her bouncer or swing to keep her asleep, and everything else we can think of but she forces herself awake as soon as we stop holding her and is very unhappy screaming her little head off.

She sleeping for three 2 hour stretches during the night waking up for an hour or so to breastfeed in between but it is so fidgety that I end up jiggling and shushing her to keep her asleep most of the night... Meaning I get 1-2 hour broken sleep max with a hot squirmy baby on my chest. She won't even sleep on the bed next to me, so I have to "sleep" propped up with pillows holding her but even more importantly it means my newborn who is supposed to get somewhere around 14-20 hours of sleep per day is only getting 7 fitful hours max.

I know they say you can't form habits this young but it sure feels like we are!!! We are so exhausted and fed up of having to work SO HARD to get her to sleep only for her to wake up fidgeting and then crying 20 mins later and we are worried we are making her too dependent on all that touch and jiggling etc to sleep but the catch 22 is if we don't do that she doesn't sleep AT ALL.

Please, has anyone experienced anything like this and if you did how did you transition your baby to sleeping A) longer B) deeper and more restfully and C) more independently (ie not on my chest where she just ends up rooting to feed even if she's full)

Suggestions would be so helpful! (Ps we've tried swaddling and it is a no go, she ends up purple in the face from screaming so loud she hates it so much and will wake up angry at the first twitch if she can't move her arms)

 

[missk1989]

How often do you try putting her down? I thought my lo was awake too much then I was informed babies that young are tired after an hour max. I ha been keeping him awake too long! Could it be that your lo is overtired?

 

[IrelandsOwn]

Sounds like she's overtired and waking up every sleep cycle. If I don't put India down after about an hour of wakefulness she gets like that and it's a vicious cycle. At her age she's probably too young to show signs of being tired so by the time she's yawning etc she's overtired. As PP suggested, try putting her to sleep after an hour. It may take a few naps to break the cycle but hopefully she'll start sleeping longer. And if it makes you feel any better my daughter naps on my chest all day long! Good luck, I hope there's a good stretch of sleep in your near future

 

[Tawn]

Yeah we definitely have tried putting her down after an hour or so but it never seems to work. We end up rocking and bouncing her for ages to no avail. Plus she feeds for so long after waking that it is almost an hour after a feed and nappy change. But no matter how hard we determined to not let her get overtired, there is no putting her to sleep an hour after being awake. Might need to try it again though and persist

 

[hopingforit]

DS was not sleeping as much as he should have. Anytime he would lay down, he cried and if he did sleep, he would wake after a shot period of time though he was a pretty good night sleeper. I found out that he has reflux that causes him pain when he is laying down. The signs my dr told me are eating frequently, not sleeping as well, throwing up, and crying a lot. It sounds like this could be a possibility for you. Hopefully you can get it figured out. It's tough having a baby that won't sleep.

 

[baileybubs]

I dont have any other suggestions that may help, except maybe trying colic remedies, but doesnt sound like colic to be honest.

Just wanted to give you big hugs and say I hope you manage to find a solution soon hun

 

[bananaz]

A lot of babies will only sleep on people at that age, unfortunately. Your LO is used to feeling you breathe and move around all the time, so being set down on something that's stationary can be unsettling. This is not a habit you created, this is the way she was born. It can help to think of the first 3 months as the "fourth trimester" - basically a time when you are helping her transition to being out in the world.

I went through the same thing with my daughter and it was brutal, so I can definitely sympathize. Here are my recommendations:

• Try again with the swaddling, and make sure it's TIGHT. Many babies hate it but it can still be helpful in keeping them asleep.
• Try a sling. She may protest at first but jiggle her and walk around with her in it for a few minutes. There's a good chance she'll go to sleep and then at least you'll be able to get things done while she dozes.
• Do your best to make sure she gets regular naps, even if they're only 10 minutes long in your arms or the car. As someone else said, she should really only be awake for an hour at a time at this age. A young baby who is awake for too long becomes overtired and that can make them fight sleep even more.
• White noise!! The inside of your body was not a quiet environment - constant background noise is soothing for babies, especially really little ones. I use an 8-hour YouTube recording of a waterfall on repeat for my daughter, but there are special white noise machines you can buy. At that age the white noise should be relatively loud, around the volume of a vacuum cleaner or a shower.

How does she behave other than the sleep issue? Is she generally content when she's awake?

 

[Noelle610]

Oh hun. Here's an article I wish I had seen when my baby was very little:

https://www.troublesometots.com/are-you-making-these-baby-sleep-mistakes/

Where is she sleeping? Are you swaddling her? What's the temperature like? White noise?

 

[Noelle610]

A lot of babies will only sleep on people at that age, unfortunately. Your LO is used to feeling you breathe and move around all the time, so being set down on something that's stationary can be unsettling. This is not a habit you created, this is the way she was born. It can help to think of the first 3 months as the "fourth trimester" - basically a time when you are helping her transition to being out in the world.

I went through the same thing with my daughter and it was brutal, so I can definitely sympathize. Here are my recommendations:

• Try again with the swaddling, and make sure it's TIGHT. Many babies hate it but it can still be helpful in keeping them asleep.
• Try a sling. She may protest at first but jiggle her and walk around with her in it for a few minutes. There's a good chance she'll go to sleep and then at least you'll be able to get things done while she dozes.
• Do your best to make sure she gets regular naps, even if they're only 10 minutes long in your arms or the car. As someone else said, she should really only be awake for an hour at a time at this age. A young baby who is awake for too long becomes overtired and that can make them fight sleep even more.
• White noise!! The inside of your body was not a quiet environment - constant background noise is soothing for babies, especially really little ones. I use an 8-hour YouTube recording of a waterfall on repeat for my daughter, but there are special white noise machines you can buy. At that age the white noise should be relatively loud, around the volume of a vacuum cleaner or a shower.

How does she behave other than the sleep issue? Is she generally content when she's awake?

All of this! Especially the swaddling thing! Babies don't really "hate" it though they fight it. Keep trying. The Miracle Blanket was a life saver for us - like a baby straight jacket!

 

[Etoiles]

We have had a similar problem with our DS although he sleeps more than 7 hours but definitely much less than the recommended daily amount.

We have had more successful days than non successful days lately and have learned some things that are helpful.

Some things I learned:
1. He likes to be warm. When we first brought him home we apparently did not wrap him up enough. When he is wrapped up plenty and warm he sleeps a lot better. They say dress the baby how you would dress but in our case he likes to be a little warmer than that.
2. Swaddle. We always swaddle him when he starts yawning and then finish feeding him while swaddled and then he drifts off to sleep.
3. I hold him until he is in a deep sleep before putting him in his crib. Before when he closed his eyes I would put him in his crib but found he sleeps longer if I hold him for a while before putting him down in his crib.
4. He is a very gassy baby so even though he burped 10 min ago we have found out that sometimes he cries because he has gas and needs to be burped often. Sometimes if we don't know why he is crying a quick burping works wonders.

he does have reflux and so to help that we put books under two legs of the crib to make it at a slight incline and hopefully help him.

The more success we have the more he sleeps and the more better days we have so just stick with it. Once he starts to have a good day I don't leave the house with him because he will not sleep in the car or at a store so after an outing I have found that we are back to square one and it's not worth it.

Good luck!

 

[Jendra]

I thought my baby hated swaddling too. He'd Houdini his way out and then howl. Turns out I needed a different way of doing it. Babies might fight it and cry and fuss when you do it, but it's temporary. The combo that worked for me was swaddle, then a soother, then rocking, then white noise. Now we do without the rocking, sometimes without white noise, and even occasionally without a soother. But never no swaddling.

It took him a bit but LO got used to being swaddled and it's saved us all. I recommend SwaddleMe. They're amazingsauce.

 

[NoodleSnack]

I second looking at (silent) reflux, the constant wanting to eat and kept upright would be signs of that. Besides the suggestion here, you just have to wait it out, a lot of us have been there, they do grow of it.

 

[flump1]

i would also suggest reflux unfortunately this is something that will only improve with time so the best advice i can give you is to try your hardest to not think about the lack of sleep at the moment and just do everything that seems to work best to get a bit of sleep and rest for you all. My baby was not a sleeper at all even as a very new newborn he barely ever slept day or night. I was so confused as i always heard everyone else say all their little babies did was sleep. well not my LO he wanted to see and take everything in he also had reflux so always vomited after feeds and was generally very fussy and uncomfortable. sorry I don't have much advice just really feel for you as i know how hard it is but it will get better! i just wish i had relaxed a bit more and not spent my time stressing over how little sleep we were both getting. before you know it you will be out of this phase even though it may feel like a lifetime away at the moment

My advice for reflux- keep upright after feeds for at least 30 mins, feed small feeds more often, burp half way through feed and at end don't pat just rub, maybe think about propping LOs mattress up at one end so they are not lying flat. try using a sling or bouncy chair for lo to sit in

 

[lizzywiz]

We had/have a very poor sleeper, too. It is SO hard. It does get better.

When she was little, we did the happiest baby on the block stuff, which other people have already suggested (swaddle, soother, swinging movement, white noise). She responded best to the 'milk shake' style movement: hold her upright by holding her bottom in one hand and her torso/neck/head in the other and move arms up and down.
here is an example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rureawDD1mU

The ladies on these boards will guide you right- keep checkin' in!

 

[Yipee]

My niece is about a week old, and she spends a lot of her time sleeping on her dad's chest. She'll fall asleep on her mom's, but wakes up sooner from smelling the breastmilk. When she's on her dad's she'll sleep for much longer. And she won't sleep for very long at all if she's just laid down somewhere alone.

Good luck; hope you can find a solution!

 

[Bunanie]

Don't worry about creating "bad habits" she's only so little and she's used to the warmth and movement inside you.

I used to rock my LO to sleep every nap everyday, and hold her for the duration of her nap (she wakes up as soon as her bum touches the cot). Now at 6 months, she refused to sleep in my arms anymore.

What worked for me (only for a short while) was the swing, I bf her, swaddled her, then put her in the swing blasting with white noise, then she could sleep for 2 hrs.

I have no idea about colic or reflux tho...

 

[rocketb]

I found this video a while back - Dr Karp of HBOTB answering a question about why some babies appear to hate being swaddled.

https://youtu.be/Nr_aku07Zvk

I have to agree with many of the responders to this thread. Try swaddling again! Swaddling is what gave me my nights back and helped my 1st baby learn how to relax into sleep. I swaddled my first (at night only) until she outgrew the medium swaddles (we started with a stack of small swaddlemes from my sister). I would swaddle, nurse her to sleep, and then use white noise to keep her there until she woke needing to nurse again.

During the day, using a fully reclined swing (Fisher Price Snugabunny Swing) would put her to sleep fairly quickly. Per HBOTB, put the swing on high (slow and gentle doesn't work) and turn on white noise or music (also on the swing's highest volume setting). Even if baby was crying when she went into the swing, she'd often fall asleep within minutes. If not, then something else was wrong, either a wet diaper, still hungry, or just wanted something else. If she fell asleep while nursing on me, I'd carefully transfer her to the swing and get it going with movement and music.

(This is not to say that DD didn't spend plenty of time sleeping on me. I would often sit for hours with her sleeping on the Boppy with my nipple still in her mouth. I had a laptop or smartphone to occupy me and didn't mind. I don't know how much of this luxury I'll have with a toddler to keep happy, but it's nice to know that I have these tools (swaddle and swing) to fall back on.)

 

[Noelle610]

How's it going hun?

 

[Smanderson]

I agree with the reflux suggestions

I read you post and immediately thought that sounds just like my DS at 4 weeks, he then started screaming after his feeds at 5 weeks and was possetting at most feeds and turns out it was reflux, we are now working with pediatricians to get his meds right and today he has slept and slept and slept...im having to feed him in his sleep he is so chilled im thinking the meds have kicked in

 

[Tawn]

Hi ladies, thanks for your posts and suggestions! sorry for going MIA Its been a rough couple of days as little miss has suddenly stopped gaining weight so it's been really stressful trying to sort out whether is is a supply issue, a medical issue or a not sleeping so not growing as she's burning off too much energy issue. We're still not sure why she didn't gain almost any weight the last two weeks, but we were referred to paedistrics and got a prescription for Zantac to try for reflux to see if that helps with the sleep. Just started that this morning so we will see how it goes.

But with the weight drama my health visitor has said that we need to think about putting her down to sleep, that she is too dependent on us holding her and the movement of being rocked or bounced etc to stay asleep hence why she wakes up so easily if the movement changes. She thinks we need to teach her how to self soothe a bit and to understand when she is tired for herself rather than when we are "telling" her but working so hard to get her to sleep. I am really torn about this because I am NOT going to just let her cry, obviously, but I also agree that we are stuck in a pattern that just isn't functional for our family as I have an 11 year old stepson who is getting severely neglected.

For example, when she was first born she cluster fed at night from about 7pm-11pm and would scream if taken off the breast. Then she would fall asleep at the breast and be transferred to my chest to sleep fitfully for the night. (She won't even be put down on the bed next to me) Now at 5 1/2 weeks she is in a pattern where this is her "bedtime routine" and we can't do anything else so she is still up till 11pm every night and there is no opportunity to put her down for even a minute without her screaming so I can take care of my stepson.

And during the day we have tried everything to get her to settlem in her swing or bouncy chair or Moses basket but she just screams an screams. Like today, she was tired so I just fed her, swaddled her, put in her soother, put her in her swing and turned on her white noise sheep and stayed close and talked to her and touched her tummy and she cried and fought for 45 minutes before falling asleep exhausted. I couldn't do it, my dh had to do it because I got too upset hearing her cry like that but he insists we have to start getting her comfortable somewhere other than our chests as she hates everything (carseat, pram, swing, bouncer, basket, moby wrap, sling... All of them)

So what do you ladies think? Is it right to try and help her learn a bit of separation now so that she doesn't have our whole family on complete lockdown? Right now we feel so trapped in the house, on the sofa just feeding her and then struggling to get her to sleep. and I can't even manage to make my stepson a sandwich or some other pathetic dinner without being stressed to the max about her screaming.

Uhhhhg, I don't want to sleep train my baby or let her cry but I also haven't had time to even feed myself really in over 5 weeks and have no support to hold her while I do things as my family is all 5,000 miles away. Help! Any thoughts?