5 year old - OCD?

[Sarah Lou 80]

I'm trying to work out whether my 5 year old is showing signs of OCD.

He's quite a sensitive boy, he takes things in and thinks about them a lot but he is also pretty confident, epecially since starting school.

The main thing that concerns me is his bedtime routine. It seems to have turned in to more of a ritual and it has been like this for probably 18months or so. I have to put him to bed, he can't settle down if his dad does it.

This is the routine.....after dinner he has a bath or shower, pjs on and watches a short programme. Then it is up to bed. He has to lie out 2 of his stuffed toys under the duvet so they are near his feet and they have to be positioned in a particular way. I have to read him a story, turn his light off (he has a night light on though) then I have to sing a certain song, always the same one. Then I have to wait a short while and ask him 'do you want me to stay or do you want me to go?' He will then say 'did I say stay?' I will say 'No' and he will say 'so stay then. Then I have to wait another shirt while and say the same thing and he will say 'Did I say a bit more staying?' And I say 'No' and he says 'So, a bit more staying then ' then I have to leave it a bit longer (If I'm too quick he gets upset) then I have to ask the question again then he will say 'that's another stay'

He can say the last but a couple of times..ive started being able to talk to him about the fact that I need to go and let him sleep and sometimes it's successful but other times he gets upset and I have to wait til he says I can go. Then I have to say the same words when I say goodnight and shut the door.

Sorry for the long post. I'm at a loss as to what to do. He's also having a bit of an issue with soiling his pants at school. Sometimes at home too. Not sure if it's connected?

Any advice would be sooooo gratefully received.

 

[Bella1185]

Hmmm..: not sure I will be of much help but didn’t want to read and run!

I think children find a great bit of comfort in routine and having things “just so”. It makes them feel safe and stable especially in the younger years when they’re not babies but not yet “big kids”- as independence can be scary! They’re becoming more and more aware they aren’t just an extension of you, they are in fact their own person. However, there’s a fine line between routine and compulsion, and if you think he is showing signs of something that seems “abnormal” to you, then I would just ask his pediatrician and have them recommend next steps. There’s nothing wrong with getting a professional opinion - if nothing else they can just say this is quite common and here’s how to prevent common stressors.

I wonder if the last part is his way of just getting a bit more time to stay awake? Sounds like he’s quite smart and has it down pat as a way to delay sleepytime! Only you will know if he’s just stalling of if it’s something more

Why don’t you contact his doctor and explain all that you’ve said on here? I think you’ve done a beautiful job of explaining everything clearly! If there is truly something “wrong” then he’s at a great age to work through it! Although, it could be nothing at all!

 

[Teri7489]

Could it be connected to starting nursery and school? My daughter has always been a clingy child and still sleeps in my room, albeit in a bed of her own. She has settled in to nursery fine but her separation anxiety got so much worse since starting nursery last August that her eczema flared up from stress. She also stopped eating like she used to, which interfered with her digestive system and her sleeping. Just wondering if he is maybe just seeking attention more than anything (and I don't mean that in a bad way, it's perfectly normal) Could also relate to the accidents, it's common in school children who are previously toilet trained without issue.

I found some extra one to one time, we call it treat time worked well to settle her. I try to make sure that pick up time from nursery is exciting so a nice walk, trip to the park or something like that. Just made special time and also we talk about nursery in a positive way so she doesn't feel down about going. it seems to have worked well and she's sleeping an eating much better.

sorry for the essay, just thought it may be similar for your lo x

 

[MAMA MOON]

Do you have other rituals together, or is this it?

If he has firm routines for several events every day and will lose it if these routines change, then I’d wonder...

If this is his only firm ritual, then I wouldn’t worry about it & just go with it until he feels more secure.

 

[Sarah Lou 80]

Thanks for your replies. This does seem to be the only ritual he has so I'm going to relax a bit and maybe try trying changing one thing at a time and see how that goes. Thank you

 

[BunnyN]

It sounds like he is finding comfort in being in control of his routine. He is maybe just feeling a bit stressed/ insecure with school etc and it makes him feel safe to have a set routine and have you close. I agree if it was something like OCD I would expect to see it in several different ways.