5 year old overexcited getting into trouble at school

[rubberducky88]

My DS has just turned 5, he is a gorgeous bright popular little boy.

The last couple of months I have started being called into school - mostly for him forgetting to use "kind hands".
Pushing outside during superheroes games etc.

Yesterday he hit his friend for no reason - he told us he did it but couldn't explain why. When we spoke to the teacher she said it wasn't done in a malicious way at all, he just gets so excited and can't control it.
She said it will come with age.... but my emotions literally cannot handle it! I feel like a terrible mum.

The problem I've got is that he never does things like that at home, so I'm struggling to discipline and teach him not to do things when I'm not there when they happen.

Has anyone got any advice? xx

 

[whatwillbex]

Hi. My dd is exactly the same really struggles to keep her hands to her self especially when she's over excited which is all the time. lol like your son it's not in a mean way it's just she forgets herself and strength. We use a reward chart and it really does help we remind her in the morning and we talk about the chart "alot!"and keeping her hands to herself is number 1 on the chart. If she can stick to it she can have a star sticker when she comes home from school. So if I get no reports from school and she tells me which normally she does quite proudly she gets a big star. If she gets x amount of stars she gets a reward of her choice which we decided when doing the chart each week. It's helped us loads with her behaviour and gives her a goal, if I do see her getting a bit handy I just mention the reward chart and it seems to put her back on track.
It's hard when your not there but I suppose it's all part of them growing up and learning for themselves x

 

[scatteredmusi]

You sound like a wonderful mom. It is important for your DS to begin to control his impulses but it could a take a while yet simply because kids develop at different speeds. However, experts think children around the age of 4 should be developing improved abilities to manage their impulses, and hitting should be going away so here are a couple of things to ponder.

Are you helping him to learn to control his impulses? This involves social skills, delayed gratification, memory skills, cause and effect. If his attention span isn’t long, then he may need some help to try to put himself in the place of someone he has hurt.
Are you affirming and rewarding him for good behavior? It is easy to find the things we want to see changed in our children but positive reinforcement is so powerful. The chart idea by last poster is a great way to do that. Last, are you and your DH on the same page about how to parent? You need to have a united front and a united plan of action. Discuss and then agree on what to do and how you want to proceed. Best of luck to you!

 

[lau86]

I think most of them are the same at that age, especially when playing superheroes. I've been called over by the teacher a few times recently about different things my son has done (he is also 5), the last time he 'punched' another boy because this boy had ripped his friends picture and he was upset for his friend. I've never seen my son punch in his life. It's just one of those things, I had a chat with him, it's nice to stick up for your friends but punching isn't the right way to do it, telling the teacher is. It's more difficult with play fighting as they all seem to enjoy that, I generally just let that one go.