6 Cycles of Clomid, Then What?

[Bea1986]

Hi Sammy

Canada sounds similar to the UK, in that it depends which area of it you live in as to whether you are funded or not.

My husbands parents do not know either. Only my parents, 2 sisters and 1 close friend, that is it. I often wonder how many people must suspect something though, I mean people who know us well know how much we wanted to have children when we got married, 3 years later still no children, people must wonder why. Do you ever think the same?

Wow 4 times a week for acupuncture! I would find that stressful as well, I'm the kind of person who finds going to the hairdressers or supermarket a bit stressful so i don't think that would do me any good. I take Centrum Pregnancy tablets which are a multivit with lots of folic acid and everything else needed. Other than that I just drink raspberry leaf tea in the first half of my cycle to build up the lining. I love herbal teas like peppermint and camomile but I always avoid them and the raspberry leaf in the 2ww and only drink lemon and ginger tea in those 2 weeks.

Ah let me know how you get on with the evening primrose oil. I have no cm at all, so I would be interested to hear if it helps you. I only tried it once about 18 months ago and it made my ovulation really late, but at the time I had really high prolactin and unbalanced hormones so i dont think the evening primrose was to blame.

Sounds like you are a good eater anyway so you don't need to worry about that being a factor. I am so glad you ordered the DVD let me know how you find it I will be doing it again today I love it

 

[sammyttc]

I definitely know what you mean about people suspecting. I've had ridiculous numbers of people asking us when we will have a child, etc. I really have a hard time. Deep down I want to snap back at them (or well, really, cry!) haha but instead I just usually answer "oh someday" as if it's not even a thought on my radar. I am SURE some people have put it together, for the exact same reason as you. It does eat at me... that's for sure. I never imagined 3 years after our wedding we'd still be trying !!

I hadn't heard about the raspberry leaf tea. I should look into that.

I also basically lost all my cm when I started clomid. I honestly already notice a difference with the Evening Primrose Oil! I hope it doesn't cause me to O too late... I'm glad you mentioned that though.

What cycle day are you!?! In the TWW yet? I am just CD 8...

 

[Bea1986]

Grr i know how horrible it is when people ask you when you are going to have a baby. Its so frustrating and a little rude as well, its a very personal question and there could be quite a few reasons why someone would not want to answer that question, our reason being one of them. My relatives have stopped asking. I gave them the impression that I am not interested in having children until we are well in to our 30's (i'm 27 at the moment) and our mortgage will be closer to being paid off by then. I'm sorry that you have had to put up with the same questions.

I too have lost all cm. I had a little but not a lot before clomid, but now its non existent. I tried cough syrup one month as some ladies mentioned in on here, but it didn't seem to help much. I will order some evening primrose for next cycle. I am currently on CD 26 and its 6 days past ovulation. I o'd really late as my chemical pregnancy was last cycle and I was still testing positive on pregnancy tests for the first week of this cycle.

Good luck with your cycle When do you usually ovulate? Are they monitoring you on the clomid or are you using opk/temping? x

 

[sammyttc]

Hey Bea,

Im glad your relatives have stopped asking... that gives me hope mine might someday too I am 27 too !

They are not monitoring me on clomid, were/are they monitoring you? I use OPKs. I tried temping, but I wasn't sleeping because I was worrying about taking my temperature, so it was NOT good for me and did not give me true readings because my sleep was so off. Do you temp? I usually ovulate around CD 17 ish.

The TWW is always a long two weeks for me so thinking of you !!

 

[Bea1986]

Sammy,
Here's hoping your relatives do the same eventually. It got to the point where I dreaded family gatherings, and it didn't help that there has been a baby boom in my family recently amongst my sister and cousins so the topic is always on the top of everyones talk list. Ha your 27 as well, something else in common

They only monitored my first couple of cycles, no more monitoring since as they are happy I was ovulating. Are you on 50mg or 100?

I have also dabbled a bit in temping although I completely get what you mean about it becoming a bit stressful and it does disturb sleep. I am temping this month but I may stop now that I know I ovulated, I hate it when the temperature drops when AF is coming. Its not very nice to deal with the disappointment of a temp drop a few seconds after you first open your eyes in the morning is it?
I love opks. What sort do you use?
The 2ww isn't too bad this time, only because I am more looking forward to trying the clomid again next month so there is new hope, I don't hold much hope out for this month, but you never know.
Won't be long till you ovulate now

 

[sammyttc]

Hey Bea,

Is it super hard to have your sister pregnant? I am super happy for everyone who is pregnant, but it just brings out a deep sadness in me too. I can't imagine having it be someone as close as my sister.

I'm on 100 mg. I'm really growing antsy for my appointment. 2 weeks!

I love OPKs too. I actually just use the Wandfo ones. I buy them in bulk from amazon with pregnancy tests too

It is always an easier 2ww when you have something to look forward to trying the next month! Fingers are obviously super crossed though that you won't have to !!

 

[Bea1986]

Sammy, To be honest it was probably the second most hardest day of my life when my sister announced her pregnancy to me The timing of her telling me couldn't have been worse really. I had gotten my BFP, but I was spotting and I had been to my doctor that day and they had said it was a waiting game and there was nothing I could do, I was probably having an early miscarriage..
I went over to my mum's house and I was so scared and upset, after 2 years i'd finally got my BFP, and then to lose it i was devastated. I just wanted my mum, i wanted her support.
When I got there my sister told me her news straight away, it honestly felt like a hot poker in my side when I was already in so much pain As you can imagine i didn't take it very well. I just said "ok, congratulations." with no feeling in my voice and went to the bathroom to My mum came to me and I told her about the suspected m/c. My sister to this day does not know about the m/c. She is about 10 weeks pregnant now and will be going for her scan soon. The universe has been really cruel with the timing as her baby is due only a week before mine would've been a constant reminder.

Do you have many pregnant friends at the moment? I understand what you said about being happy but also feeling deep sadness as well

Come on 2 weeks! not long now! I buy my opks from amazon as well. I did use the clearblue digis for a while but they are too expensive the strips are much better. Are you a poas addict as well? I used to be, i am vowing now to test this month though, not unless AF is really late.

We both have something to look forward to next month. You will be on your next step whatever that may be and I have the clomid again

 

[sammyttc]

Oh my goodness Bea, I had tears in my eyes for you reading that post!! That is so so so difficult. You're so right too, the pregnancy must just be a continual reminder. I do have 3 close friends and about 6 cousins (4 of mine 2 of hubby's) who are currently pregnant. I am actually am getting a tiny bit better at dealing with pregnancies. Kind of. However, I have friends who started trying right after us, got pregnant their first month who now have toddlers... and I find THAT really hard. Those babies birthdays are just like reminders "You could have had..." I feel very isolated and jealous when I visit with them. Especially as a one of those friends is also one of my pregnant friends...

My loss actually all took place at my twin sister's wedding events. The Friday night rehearsal I wasn't feeling well and suspected something was up. By the next morning I was cramping so much I could barely move, and had to be to the hairdressers for 8. I suffered through my hair and then went back to the hotel room. I went to the washroom and sure enough a very heavy bleed. I called the doctor and they explained that it was highly likely a miscarriage but since I was so early that would likely be all that happened and to come in to the office as soon as I could. I BAWLED in the bathroom, but I didn't want to ruin my sister's day as I was the maid of honor and she had no idea I was pregnant anyway. I sucked it up but it literally was the worst day of my life. Giving a toast I was so emotional, and the whole day I just wanted to be snuggled by my mom and hubby... but neither of them even knew until the next day! Ugh. Nothing compared to yours though.... you're super strong for not telling your sister. I would have snapped! So sorry to hear you are going through all that!

I find I have kind of curbed my POAS addiction, hahaha. For the first year and a half I must have spent more on pregnancy tests than pretty much anything else, but since the clomid I've been much better about just waiting for my period to come and then if it's like an hour late I pee like crazy. I feel like this month, on the 27th, she'll make me pee at the RE, and then if its negative there, that will hold me over! You must be getting closeish for testing time to begin...

 

[Bea1986]

Oh hun i feel so emotional reading your post about your loss, i really feel for you. i am so sorry you had to go through that, and being so upset but having to put on a brave face all day for the sake of your sister, you are unbelievably strong and selfless to do that. I can't imagine how difficult that day must've been for you, i don't know how you got through the day. Did any of your family know you were pregnant at the time? Why does the universe have to make awful things so much worse with its bad timing?

Wow you do have a lot of pregnancies to deal with. I understand all too well about the pregnant friends and the birthdays. It feels like everyone else gets pregnant so easily and we are left struggling. I have one close friend who knew about me ttc from the start, she was ttc as well, now her LO is one and she is talking about trying for another. I have other friends who are on their second pregnancy now as well. I am with you on the loneliness and jealously, its like they are all part of something that we just can't fit in to. Not until we have our own babies. Its getting to the point where I can't look a pregnant woman in the eye. Unfortunately in my job we see a lot of pregnant ladies and then they bring their new borns in, and i'm sure they think me a little off when i don't ahh and coo over their new baby like everyone else does, its just too painful.

Haha, i know all about spending lots of money on pregnancy tests, i have spent hundreds, and i still am although i have given up with expensive brands now.
I am too scared to test this month. I am not planning on testing although i reckon by sunday i might give in as AF will be seriously late by then. Does the RE do pregnancy tests for you at the office? Keep ticking the days off, it will soon be your appointment x

 

[sammyttc]

Bea,

I've been so busy prepping for school these last few days I somehow completely missed this message!

Thank you for being so sympathetic and understanding regarding my loss. It was a terrible day. No one knew I was pregnant, nope. I was waiting until after the wedding because I didn't want to steal her thunder and I was still so early.

I totally get what you mean about not fitting into it. I've never felt so left out.

I had a little girls getaway last week with some friends I haven't seen since uni. One of them of course said "SAM! NO KIDS YET! ARE THEY COMING?" To which I tried to respond with a semi joke "Sure doesn't seem like any time soon". Then she pulled out a knife (proverbially) and said "I thought for sure you'd be the first of us all". I don't know why I found that remark such a dig. Maybe because I did too? But anyway, it was bad. I welled up. I just sneered out "Me too!" but it was so awkward and such a damper. I'm sure they are all wondering now. I usually handle it so well and don't get upset. I know I'll over think this for a while.

How is every little thing with you? How's your cycle going? Did you test?!?! I feel like this post is all about me, so I can't wait to hear about you!

The RE always makes me do pregnancy tests, even if I tell her I took one right before I left! Haha.

I am a little later ovulating this month but can tell from my OPKs I'm getting closer.... Eeee!

 

[Bea1986]

Sammy
I really feel for you with that comment. I know your friend didn't mean anything by it, its just the kind of insensitive comments that we are subjected to and its heart breaking at times and very hard to cope with
Don't feel bad for the way you reacted, it was all in the moment and you couldn't hide your emotions, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to explain yourself. If the whole journey of TTC has taught me something useful, its that you never really know what is going on in someone else's life. From the outside they can seem content and happy, but they might be going through private stuff that is really hurting them, and therefore people should always think before they speak, insensitive comments can be really upsetting. I usually cope well with these comments too now, but sometimes I am caught off guard or feeling particularly delicate and its impossible not to get upset sometimes

I'm doing ok thanks. My last cycle was unsuccessful sadly, so I am back on the clomid now from CD 2-6, I am currently CD 4. Trying to keep relaxed about things this cycle, but you know how hard that is

How are the opks today any darker? Hope you get your positive soon.
Not long till your appointment now only a week They do like you peeing on a stick don't they

How are you otherwise? Did you enjoy the girls getaway apart from the comments?

It is our 3 year wedding anniversary tomorrow so we are off to a spa. I am having a facial and massage so really looking forward to that, I feel like I've really earned some pamper time after these last few months x

 

[sammyttc]

Hey Bea.

I am so sorry your last cycle wasn't successful. I find no matter how much I am looking forward to the next cycle, it really takes the wind out of your sails. I hope the clomid is helping you look forward to this one. It is SO very hard to stay relaxed. How is the clomid going this time? Did you up the dose or did it remain the same, I can't remember! My fingers are totally crossed for you.

Congrats on your 3 year wedding anniversary! A trip to the spa sounds LOVELY Enjoy- it is totally well deserved!

I haven't taken an OPK yet today as it's still relatively early morning here. I will probably next trip to the washroom. Iam anxious to ovulate ! I wanted to be farther along in my cycle when I went to the RE. Oh well!

I am doing well otherwise. Gradually easing my self back into work, setting up my classroom and such. I am headed there in a little bit, and then I think this afternoon I am off to the beach to soak up a bit more salt water and sunshine to last me through the year!

 

[Bea1986]

Hi Sammy,

I have just taken my last clomid tablet today, they kept me on the same low dose of 50mg as i ovulate on my own anyway and respond well to clomid. Thank you I am keeping my fingers crossed for your last cycle as well.

Thanks, i did enjoy the spa, it was so relaxing, just what we both needed, i wish i could spend every day there

How's it going with the opks now have you ovulated? Its nice once you are in the 2ww isn't it? You can relax and know that you've done the best you can.

Don't work too hard at school. When do the children start back? I think they have another 2 weeks off here. Aww wow, do you live quite near to the beach? I hope you had an awesome relaxing afternoon there. The weather is starting to cool here in the UK, is it lovely and hot still there?

 

[sammyttc]

Hey Bea!

I am so happy to hear you had such a nice time at the spa. Sounds lovely!!

I'm so excited for you with your clomid. Glad to hear you took the last dose. Do you take it in the am or pm? I have heard that the side effects aren't as bad if you take it in the pm! I am a morning person though so I always took it then.

I did ovulate and am in the 2ww. Basically since about two days O (so about 5 days ago) after I have had insanely sensitive breasts. When I was pregnant I had NO symptoms, so I am sure this is just ovulation, but man. I hope it goes soon.... or stays for a BFP Wednesday is my appointment.... I can't wait!

We live about a 20 minute ride from the beach. It is my favorite. This weekend coming up we have a long weekend and I am SURE most of it will be spent on the sand!

Hope your week is off to a great start ! Enjoy your day

 

[Bea1986]

Hi Sammy, I came on here to wish you good luck for your appointment today, I hope it all goes well and you get what you want from it I understand what you mean about looking forward to your appointment, its nice to feel like you are progressing on to something isn't it? Gives new hope and possibilities. Hopefully you won't need what they offer and you'll get your BFP this cycle but its nice to have something happening just in case

How is the 2ww treating you now? I always find my bbs are massive and really sore in the 2ww on clomid, but when I was pregnant, it was 10 times worse, I knew before I took the test, its weird.

Its amazing that you live so near to the beach, I'd be there all the time if I could! It's turning in to winter weather here, so i'll be cracking out my sewing machine again this weekend and trying to keep busy in doors instead!

I take clomid in the evenings at tea time as I was worried about the side effects but I don't think it would make much difference really.

Let me know how you get on today

 

[sammyttc]

Hey Bea !!

Thanks so much for thinking of me on my appointment day!

My appointment went REALLY well. It's probably the best I've felt throughout this whole process in terms of dealing with a medical professional. She was so sorry to hear about my loss a few months ago, and seemed really eager to get the ball moving. I kind of never really felt like she cared before... she'd always say things like "You're just a baby, so young". Anyway, today was very different. She does not want me to take the clomid for more than 6 months. So I am taking a 3 month break from any drugs and then starting Femara for just 3 months. I will go back and start the road to IVF if that is not successful. She said she knows many teachers are long term planners so she wanted to give me the whole overview, and that is completely how I work so I feel SO much better knowing the "plan".

She also gave me a tonne of information about like psychological support, and chatted a lot with me about "typical feelings" Anyway... I couldn't believe how much she was hitting the nail on the head. I think I will look in the psychologist as it can't hurt me! She wants us to go to an IVF info session in September, so we will do that. She told me that because of my age and the fact that there are no known problems that the chance of conceiving on an IVF cycle is around 65 %... She also suggested if we do it we could wait until summer so that I am not trying to balance work and IVF schedules, but that she is more than willing to start WHENEVER I want. I guess I will consider my options in the meantime, but hopefully wont come to that. She also gave us information on Controlled Ovarian Stimulation in conjunction with IUI as she said many people here try that first since it is much lower cost and neither that or IVF is covered. So yes, I am very happy there is a plan in place. I feel like either way I am getting to closer to my ultimate goal of a baby !!

How are things going for you in your cycle? Where are you now? Hopefully at the fun part... Ovulation time

I got my fertility yoga DVD and did one practice with it !! I really like it!!

 

[Bea1986]

Hi Sammy! I was wondering how you got on. That's wonderful that you are feeling so positive and your fs was so helpful and understanding. I like that you have a proper game plan set out now and you have some really good possibilities The break is a good idea so that your hormones can balance out and your lining can get back to normal following the clomid, i hope you get a natural bfp in this time. If not then femara sounds great, it is something i looked in to but they dont licence it in the UK, it sounds better than clomid as it has less side effects and doesn't effect uterine lining which is always a worry with the clomid. The success rates for the IVF is also good for people of our age but hopefully neither of us will need it.
I think the psychological support sounds very useful as well, i have been offered counselling as well but i haven't got round to booking in yet, i figure I will definitely need it if these 3 clomid cycles don't work though.
Do you have any more appointments planned apart from the ivf information session?

I am so glad you are enjoying the fertility yoga dvd, i am still doing it as often as i can, its getting easier and more relaxing now i know all the routines.

My cycle is going really well thanks! I got my strong positive opk today on CD13 so will ovulate tomorrow. Plus i saw lots of EWCM for the first time in months! i have been taking vitamin b complex and i think its really helped. I am hopeful for this cycle

Have you considered starting a journal? My link is on my signature and i've found it very therapeutic, a good way to deal with the emotional side of things, and the ladies on there are so incredibly supportive. x

 

[sammyttc]

Eee! So glad to hear you got some EWCM! Always exciting !

I am going to go check out your journal I actually might start one. I had one a long time ago... over in TTC (embarrassing to read now), but maybe I should start one again in LTTTC.

 

[Bea1986]

yes i had one in ttc as well, it started off so optimistic and naive when i read back. it does make me a little sad that i am now on the LTTTC journals and practically all my original ttc buddies are now pregnant/have their babies and some are even on their second!

The LTTTC ladies are lovely though, i have so much more in common with them now. x

 

[Nightnurse]

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