6th Birthday - What Would You Do?

[RachA]

I know it's a way off but i'm really worrying about my son's birthday this year.
He is going to be 6 in August. Because of it being a summer holidays birthday we will have to send out the invites in July to give people time to reply etc.

I really don't know what to do though as so far Daniel hasn't been invited to any parties at school. Last year he was only invited to 5 parties, one of which was a joint party. I know that we still have another 4 months till we need to decide who comes but i honestly can't see that he'll of been to any parties. He has friends at school that he talks about but generally these friends all have parents who are friends and so the children only invite the children of their parents friends.
Part of me thinks that he should invite whoever he wants to be part of me is reluctant to spend a whole load of money on children who don't want my child at their parties. Really don't know what to do. It makes me so sad that he really wants friends and people to play with but it's not happening because i'm not friends with the other mum's (i've tried to be included but once i've invited them round i never get an invite back etc).

 

[isil]

I would be more inclined to take him on a day out where you can really spoil him with Esther. Then maybe do a small party with 2 or 3 school friends at the house so he feels he is having a party still? I think I will do that with my son this year.

 

[alicecooper]

Mine don't have many party invitations either. About 1 a year if we're lucky.

DD invited several people in her class to a Wacky Warehouse (soft play) party for her 7th birthday, and all but one said no, so we had to cancel the party and lose the deposit because it was for a minimum of 8 people.
So instead we told her to choose 1 close friend, (she picked a girl called Paris), and we took DD, Paris, and our two sons bowling, and for a meal after the bowling game.

DS1 once invited a ton of people round for his birthday from nursery and not one single person turned up (despite several saying they would). We had bouncy castles and everything. Luckily it was a party at home, and there are a lot of children who live on our street, so we managed to scrape together about 10 kids to make a decent party for him, but I was really gutted that not one from his nursery showed up.
And for his 5th birthday last year he invited kids from school, and he only got 4 turning up, despite the fact that he invited about 20.
(His birthday is in August, so a lot gave the excuse that they were away abroad).

It's not fair is it? You end up feeling so bad for your kids.

I've told them this year we're not doing parties. We're doing outings instead. We did outings for some of their earlier birthdays and that was fine - theme parks, or zoo, or safari, or something like that.
DS1 has opted for the British Museum in London (he wants to see dinosaur skeletons) for his 6th birthday in August this year.
DD hasn't decided yet what she wants to do for her 8th birthday in September.
DS2 wants to have a bowling party with kids from his nursery in September for his 4th birthday, but I'm reluctant. I can just envisage nobody coming and him being all sad.

 

[River54]

When my dd was about that age, she had the same issue. Her bday is in July, and by that time, so many families had left etc. (not to mention the parents never really talked to me as they were all stay at home mums and I was not...)

What I did back then was invite everyone (and some neighbours & second cousins around the same age). We had backyard or park parties. I organized sack races, 3 legged races, cherry on a spoon race (dd is allergic to eggs), dress up race, etc. As they came, there was paints and stuff for them to do til everyone got here, then did races, then had lunch and cupcakes, presents, then finished it with a pinata bash as the parents started coming to pick them up.

Everyone had a good time, and it wasn't $$ (I was a single mum going to school with loans, so I made everything, and improvised as needed). I was pretty inclusive - so if a sibling wanted to stay - sure. Obviously I talked some of my family helping me out with it. I tried to talk to parents about it as well, so they were aware of the invite. I realized that some kids either lost it, or neglected to show their parents the invite at that age.

The best when she was younger was when we ended up having parties near school ending, so people would still be around and not out on vacation. Though she did not get her presents from me until her birthday regardless of when the party was.

 

[RachA]

Thanks. It's really hard keeping your children happy. I know that he'll want to do something with friends but part of me thinks if they don't want him at their parties why should he invite them to his.
I like the idea of doing something for just the 4 of us. Unfortunately we'll have an overseas student with us on his birthday weekend but hopefully we could go out during the week after. He loves London and my sil lives there so we could go up and stay with her

 

[hel_5]

My Lucy is the same (infact they have the same birthday!) but she's been invited to LOADS of birthday parties already and I think there will be a good few more, we are half thinking of doing something at the end of term with her school friends and then something on her actual birthday (and mine! ) with non-school friends but both will be small parties at home.

When I was at school I could either have a party in July or September as people were either on hol or forgot about my birthday! xx

 

[seoj]

When my SD was younger school age- we kinda had a rule, if you invite part of the class, then you need to invite all the class- typcially, most didn't even show. Shocker! LOL. But once, almost the entire class showed up! Lucky the bday was at Skate World and could accomodate them all But usually, we just allowed 2-3 close friends - who we made sure to know the parents and had her give just them invites (outside of school- so not to hurt other kids feelings). It's truly a tricky game! And sometimes, it did back-fire as my SD was not know for "keeping things on the downlow"- ugh. So once or twice she got herself in trouble for telling other kids about the party... oops.

I honestly have no clue how I would handle it with our LO- but I'd assume similar to SD. Maybe just allow her to invite a few close friends? IDK. One year- when SD turned 13yrs (which is kind of a big one)- we let her invite several friends, and ONLY ONE kid showed up at our house before the skate party- I felt so bad for her. They all just kinda bailed last minute- so it can happen at pretty much any party and age regardless of how much you plan. Lucky, some kids did show up later on- but still, no one was there really for cake/ice cream and singing happy bday. So she just had the ONE friend sleep over. Her next bdays were much better though. And I'm gonna make a BIG DEAL of her 16th coming up So we are planning well in advance. Fingers crossed! LOL

 

[Amarna]

It's hard with kids and birthday parties. Try to remember though that it may not be that they do not WANT your kid at their party. A lot of people just do parties with families, may not have the money/space for a big party, etc. Last year we planned a big party at Chuck E. Cheese for DD, we invited about 10 kids from her class and some extended family and friends outside of school. About half the kids from her class showed up when all was said and done but such things are expensive and we can't do that again this year. So even though she's been invited to other kids b-day parties we're just going to take her out for the day somewhere special and then meet with grandparents at a restaurant of her choice for dinner out. We just can't afford the expense of a big party and don't have a big enough place to have a party at our home, it's not that we don't want other children there and I hope it doesn't send that message to other parents.

When I was in school my birthday was always right before school started so I couldn't really invite a lot of my class, my parents always let me choose one-two friends that I was close with to have over. It didn't really matter to me that I didn't invite all my friends from school because I had so many cousins around my age that I always had a great time anyway.

 

[Feltzy]

Its so hard when it comes to inviting kids from school, when Evie was in reception I invited 20 people to her party, only 8 bothered getting back to me to say they would go and on the day only 1 showed up. I was gutted for her, although thankfully we had kids from the family there too so she wasn't too bothered. I think if it was me I'd take him out with 2/3 of his closest friends to do something for a few hours, maybe cinema and something to eat after, or bowling as someone else suggested?

On the other hand, if you did decide to invite some of his friends to a party maybe it would pave the way for him to get more invites in return? It could also be a good opportunity to get to know some of the mums. I'd just make sure you take their numbers and confirm a day or two before to make sure they actually show up!

You could always give him the choice and see which he would prefer.

 

[hypnorm]

I don't do parties as 1. Ewan rarely gets invited to others, and 2. Can't afford to compete with the all singing and dancing parties that the other parents try to do.
His birthday is in August too so I take him out for the day.

 

[mandaxx]

We don't do parties tbh, they are very expensive and in our opinion not necessary. I never had any as a kid and neither did OH. We just had a fun day out with family and a few gifts.

 

[RachA]

Thanks for the replies.

We'll keep thinking it over for the next few month. We've already got special offer tickets set aside for Legoland in case we decide to just have a family day out

 

[HGsurvivor05]

My DD daughter is 7, we had big birthday for her 1st as it seemed the 'in' thing to do but for 2nd,3rd,4th and 5th we just invited family and few friends round to the house which was lovely. On her 6th birthday decided I would chance party again as she only had 10 in her p1 class, I ended up booking the village hall and a magician who did the whole party he was fantastic I actually ended up inviting her whole p1/2 class as paid for magician and DD list was expanding, parents and grannys even stayed he was that good he involved everyone young and old it gave me a chance to get food prepared and do that side. IMA was best party but this year was back to just BFF only and we had trip on the train to cinema then gave them a voucher for disney store we had fab day with that too and will probably do same next year. Good luck with what you choose x